Age Differences

[Maids]

I'm not sure if this topic was made already, but for those of you out there who have significant or rather large age gaps between you and your partner I have something to ask.

 

 

Do you ever feel embarrassed/ashamed of your age gap?

Do you feel uncomfortable sharing the age difference between you and your partner during conversation with other people?

Does the thought of dating someone with a significant or rather large age gap put you off of the person by any means?

Would the shame of the age gap cause a break up?

Edited June 14, 2018 by Foxette

[Guest Kerjin]

I'm not sure if this topic was made already, but for those of you out there who have significant or rather large age gaps between you and your partner I have something to ask.

 

 

Do you ever feel embarrassed/ashamed of your age gap?

Do you feel uncomfortable sharing the age difference between you and your partner during conversation with other people?

Does the thought of dating someone with a significant or rather large age gap put you off of the person by any means?

Would the shame of the age gap cause a break up?

 

This is a wonderful question. I'll answer from my point of view.  First off, I am a 56-Year-Old Male Daddy. I've been involved in most genre's of BDSM since I was 25. The ones that I keep returning to are TPE and DD/lg. That being said, let me answer your questions:

 

Do you ever feel embarrassed/ashamed of your age gap? - Personally, I don't although, with a significant gap, society will raise an eyebrow and snub you.

Do you feel uncomfortable sharing the age difference between you and your partner during conversation with other people? - Not at all, but only if asked. I don't go around broadcasting it, although it is apparent if the age difference is great enough.

Does the thought of dating someone with a significant or rather large age gap put you off of the person by any means? - Not at all, not for me.

Would the shame of the age gap cause a break up? - Again, not at all, not from my point of view.

 

That all being said, I'll say this much. I am an older man who likes younger women....... As long as they are of LEGAL age. So, for me, dating or being in a relationship with an 18-year-old is not an issue, other then, and I mean no disrespect to anyone, most 18-year-olds don't know what they want for breakfast the next day, let alone out of life.  

 

I realize the chances of me finding a younger female that is into older men AND is a little are slim to none and Slim just left town.

 

ANyways, there's one point of view on your questions.

[Guest SUeB]

He is 23 years older than me. He approached me, more than expecting me to say He was too old. And to be honest, my first knee jerk reaction was that very thing. But after seeing His profile, how fit and healthy He was (He puts every other man to shame i have dated before, who were anything up to 25 years His junior), i reconsidered.

Thank god i did.

The age gap for us has no relevance. Why would either of us be ashamed or embarrassed just because we aren't closer in age?

Sure, i cannot possibly imagine being physically attracted to the average 70 year old. But oh lord, He ain't no average anything!

People find it hard to believe His age quite often.

Sure, the possibility is there that He will die first. But that's true of anyone. The last guy i was with, last year, was mid forties. Overweight, a drinker and smoker and with a highly negative attitude. He's more likely to die before this beast of a 70 year old!

We couldn't care less what anyone might think of that 23 year gap. Anyone that meets or knows us sees two people who are deeply in love and incredibly happy together. We are the true loves of each others lives.

[Guest Looby-Lou]

I'm not in an age gap relationship right now, but I have been, and my answers to your questions are no, no, no and no.

If you like someone enough to be in a relationship with them, why on earth would the age of that person bother you?

[Guest Appacheian]

I’m 63 and my Little is 39. We don’t give a shit about that. As for the vanilla world well... that’s so blinkered in its views of everything so I guess we will turn few heads in public. Fuck them and their opinions.

[Guest SUeB]

I'm not in an age gap relationship right now, but I have been, and my answers to your questions are no, no, no and no.

If you like someone enough to be in a relationship with them, why on earth would the age of that person bother you?

Well, contrary to my own post, it can definitely matter. The reason i first resisted this relationship was the age difference. Sadly, men after a certain age are commonly not very fit, healthy or active. That can seriously reduce energy, longevity and positive attitude. Those things are vital to me. Plus i want a relationship to last forever, not just for a few years or until i become a carer rather than a partner, well before my time. Fun, sex, shared physical activity like walks and bike rides, etc. It was the state of HIS health that made the difference.

[Guest Looby-Lou]

Well, contrary to my own post, it can definitely matter. The reason i first resisted this relationship was the age difference. Sadly, men after a certain age are commonly not very fit, healthy or active. That can seriously reduce energy, longevity and positive attitude. Those things are vital to me. Plus i want a relationship to last forever, not just for a few years or until i become a carer rather than a partner, well before my time. Fun, sex, shared physical activity like walks and bike rides, etc. It was the state of HIS health that made the difference.

 

 

That makes perfect sense Sue. But my point is, that if your partner had been typical of his age, then you wouldn't have "liked him enough to be in a relationship". Because you realised he was in fact all the things you wanted in a partner, you didn't mind about his age.

This is what I meant in my original post. The age gap doesn't matter.  IF you like the whole person enough! I hope this makes sense, because I think we are saying the same thing really. 

[Guest SUeB]

That makes perfect sense Sue. But my point is, that if your partner had been typical of his age, then you wouldn't have "liked him enough to be in a relationship". Because you realised he was in fact all the things you wanted in a partner, you didn't mind about his age.

This is what I meant in my original post. The age gap doesn't matter. IF you like the whole person enough! I hope this makes sense, because I think we are saying the same thing really.

No that's right i suppose. It's one of those things that can go either way i guess. It's obviously not always as simple as just a matter of numbers.

[Guest Appacheian]

Lives are not forever. It’s brief, and all you can do is hope to spend it with the right person.

[neko]

my daddy is 39, I'm 23.

 

Answer to 1&2:It made me a little uncomfortable at first because I was concerned about any negative reactions I might get. Now I just talk about it like casual conversation and nobody bats an eye.

 

Answers to 3&4: These questions seem kind of silly to me. If anyone were ashamed to date someone older/younger than them, why even pursue the person/relationship?

[PrincessPear]

I have 2 partners who I have an age gap with. When I told my mom my girlfriend is 42, she flipped out. I wouldn't dare tell either of my parents about my Daddy who's over 50. Personally, I'm fine with it. It's everyone else who has the problem. As long as we're consenting adult who love each other, I see no harm in relationships with age gaps. 

[Guest AlisonS23]

I don’t think she really matters it’s more maturity but for me I set my own rules I suppose.. I won’t date younger than me. But I’ve dated as old as 55 and as young as my own age. I’m 26 now.

 

The only uncomfortable part was when my dom who was 55 took me to the same restaurant that I go to with my actual dad... my actual dad is best friends with the owner. I didn’t think he’d be in that day but sure enough..the owner comes out and says ohh hii this isn’t your dad... and then realized we were together and just went kinda quiet.

 

Physically things were not that great with him because he was out of shape... but I loved his personality and wisdom! Long term it wouldn’t have lasted for me..at least..

 

 

Having an age gap for me has pros and cons. I’m 26 and I kind of like to keep it middle aged for a guy because I myself am getting older. But I like guys with experience (not saying younger guys don’t have experience) but sexually and non sexually I like experience. And also I enjoy being “taught” things haha <—that’s another story though.

[Guest depth_of_field_ddlg]

I'm 29, my ex was 19. For some reason, her and her mother liked to playfully tease me of that gap...then used it against me when we broke up. It was a bad enough experience that I don't think I would date in the 18-21 range ever again, or have that much of a gap. The amount of growth and emotional maturity in that age range varies so heavily that it's easy for needs to change...and can make the older partner feel like a parent rather than a s/o. Even with very well established needs, communication and empathy...that can change more easily the younger you are. 

 

On the flipside, I know that folks my age are not easily changed. We're pretty set in our ways. I also have a chronic illness, so more often, "going out" was becoming more difficult. My needs were "spend time with someone, even if its at home, or watching TV. I don't need to have adventures to feel close to someone, but that can be horrifically boring to someone 18-21. I recognize that. I never wanted to restrict my partner in what she could do or who she could see, because that's super controlling. I was happy when she got new friends, when her tastes changed...but in that process, I got edged out, and looking back, I bought a certain emotional maturity to the table that ended up feeling more like parenting than a couple working through their issues. She knew how to take, but didn't really know how to give back. I should have worked on my boundaries more, but it was obvious that she treated difficult situations in a more childish manner that ended up on my shoulders.

 

Don't take what I say as a universal statement for people of any age, I am just speaking on my experience. 

[baby_k]

I personally avoid older men in dating as I don't see how it works in long run: on average men die sooner than females, have potence issues etc. But I have experience with a lot younger men.

 

Was I embarrassed: no but I dont really care what people think. However, meeting their parents might have been awkward if the parents were disapproving (which would be quite natural reaction when we talk of really young people anyhow).

 

Sharing: no issue, was more like fun fact as age gaps normally go the other way round. So, sort of rebellious even.

 

Did the age gap put me off: yes, at first very much so. I was seeing them more as a child and someone _I_ should protect and look after (and not as a Daddy). I'm not a fan of old men looking 18-year-old kids, so had HUGE dilemma that can I get involved with a young person either.

 

Shame and break up: I think that break up is possible in certain cases where outside world is giving you a lot of hard time which makes extra strain on the rel. Thou, I assume if you really like each other, should not happen.

[Guest Arc]

I've been with people double my age and over. 

 

Do you ever feel embarrassed/ashamed of your age gap?

I've never really felt anything about it. Age doesn't register in my mind if there's a genuine connection. When you're having fun you kind of forget about those details. 

 

Do you feel uncomfortable sharing the age difference between you and your partner during conversation with other people?

No. I rarely shared it because it was not their business. But to those who I did share, I knew that if they were true friends they would see that I was happy and safe and that's all that matters. Anyone who judges something safe that makes you happy is not a very good friend imo. 

 

Does the thought of dating someone with a significant or rather large age gap put you off of the person by any means?

I never sought out an age gap. They kind of just happened when I connected well with someone. The only problem with large age gaps is when you are at completely different stages of your lives and aren't interested in what each other is doing. Using myself as an example... I'm 21 and about to graduate university. I often go to social events and I enjoy the occasional party. Someone who is much older with a stable life and job may not be so compatible with that because they may not enjoy the social events I go to and they might be tired of parties. Now this isn't a problem for everyone, but I like to be quite involved with my partner's life. For me it would be a problem if they did not want to attend social events with me, and if I was unable to go to any of their work things. As someone who is still wanting to explore life it could be complicated with someone who is settled and not wanting to explore. I hope that makes sense haha. Basically sometimes when people are at different stages in life they're uninterested in some things and that would be hard for me in a long term relationship. 

 

Would the shame of the age gap cause a break up?

I don't see it as anything to be ashamed of so it would not cause a break up for me. If something that's literally just a number can cause a break up then it probably wasn't meant to be anyway  

[Helloprincess88]

My husband is 14 years older than me (got together when I was 23, I’m 30 now). He is 44 now.

 

Do you ever feel embarrassed/ashamed of your age gap?

 

*I did in the beginning. When you’re younger, people comment on it more. As I’ve gotten older, and especially after hitting 30, it seems more and more like a non issue.

 

Do you feel uncomfortable sharing the age difference between you and your partner during conversation with other people?

 

*Once again, in the beginning it was more of a Head-turner. Now I’m more comfortable, but it isn’t something I necessarily go out of my way to tell people.

 

Does the thought of dating someone with a significant or rather large age gap put you off of the person by any means?

 

*Not exactly. I certainly didn’t seek a relationship with this kind of gap, but we met organically (through mutual friends) and it just kind of happened. He was 37 when we met, salt and pepper hair, very mature and refined, highly intelligent, and very well spoken- and I found I was attracted to all of that. I thought he was too old for me but we became friends first and then he pursued me, the foundation was there from the start. Dating someone just because of an age gap? Wouldn’t happen for me.

 

Would the shame of the age gap cause a break up?

 

*Nope. We’ve been happily married for 6 1/2 years now

[star-strucky]

My daddy and I are 10 years apart and we've been together for a year and a half. He doesn't mind the age gap. I don't mind it either. He has a naturally nurturing personality, which fits well into our relationship dynamic. 

 

Do you ever feel embarrassed/ashamed of your age gap? No, not really. I might have some reservations about telling people about the age gap between him and I because of how it might make them feel, but I don't have any shame or embarrassment on my end. 

Do you feel uncomfortable sharing the age difference between you and your partner during conversation with other people? People might think someone who is 19 is too young to be in a relationship with someone who's 29 (they might be right, idk), but it doesn't really stop me from being open about it. I try to avoid talking about it with relatives because I already know the kinds of lectures I will get, though. However, I will be more open to talk about it with friends.

Does the thought of dating someone with a significant or rather large age gap put you off of the person by any means? No, it doesn't bother me.

Would the shame of the age gap cause a break up? Nope We're going pretty strong right now. 

[Guest ~*~Sachita~*~]

It looks like you have a lot of responses to your questions but if you are looking for more info, check these topics out:

 

Age Difference

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/34-is-your-daddylittle-in-the-same-age-range-as-you/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/136-how-old-is-too-old/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/6624-age-differences-in-ddlg/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/8532-much-older-daddies/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/9801-are-my-preferences-weird/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/15907-age-difference-between-a-daddy-and-little/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/17078-caregiverlittle-age-differences/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/18201-age-difference-between-daddy-and-little/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/22852-age-gap-in-your-relationship/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/25429-judged-for-the-age-gap-%F0%9F%98/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/31625-any-big-5-year-age-differences-between-little-and-caregiver-advice/

Edited July 19, 2018 by Sachita

[Hisbabygirl806]

I love the age gap. My daddy is 56 rn and I am 34 rn. We met when I was 21 and he was 43 going on 44 that yr.  My daddy is also my husband.😊❤️ and depending on our ages that yr we have a 22 to 23 yr age gap. Guys I've been with b4 daddy were all older than me by 2+ yrs. Started when i was 16 n the guy was 18(he was my first bf) Only 1 time their was a guy a year younger than me but he was my type so yea. But daddy wasn't the first man over 40 I was with, 1st one was just a fling.