New little feeling shame and confused

[Xtal228]

Hi fellow littles,

             I am brand new to the ddlg community. I have shown interest in bdsm for several years, but have lacked experiance due to a lack in a dom. I remember researching ddlg when I first got into bdsm, but that was as far as it went. A best friend/ old lover and I recently reconnected and after a period of time of our relationship developing he was unable to hide that he discovered he was a Daddy. It made perfect sense to me. He's always held the caregiver role and called me babygirl. Starting to engage in more playtime, I'm meeting all these conflicting feelings. Some of past trauma that I've spent years working through and letting go of. Others of guilt or shame for getting turned on by taboo thoughts. Besides talking about it with Daddy, what are some other ways I can work through these emotions? I cannot be alone on this, can I?

Edited June 5, 2018 by Xtal228

[abc1994]

Hello Xtal228,

First, the feeling you have is totally normal, at the same time as DDLG can be really helpfulin learning to ''let go of your worries'' in a way that your Daddy is in charge on you and of those said worries, it can also be very scary to abandon yourself to the other. Where you've worked for years to learn to trust others, this relationship asks of you to be totally vulnerable in the childlike way the littles are ''expected'' to do.

About that, you might want to set some limits with your Daddy to where you're willing to go in little space and in playtime. As time goes,you'll be able to rediscuss those limits as you discover the way you want things to be for you in those vulnerable moments.

 

As for the ''taboo feelings'', its important to make a difference between what is ''taboo'' for other people (which means that almost everything is taboo, since normality is different for everybody) and what is taboo for you (which is equivalent to your limits).

What you could do is reflect about what are your limits (hard limits and soft limits) alone and with your Daddy so that you can make a difference between relative taboo (of other people... of which we dont really care as long as it remains legal) and what is taboo for you (your limits).

 

By knowing your limits, I think you'll be way more comfortable accepting your wants to feel little, be submissive, etc.

 

I wish you the best!

[Guest shadowkitten00]

hello xtal228 im newer to ddlg aswell, you are certainly not alone with those feelings i think most little have those emotions i know i do at times as it is something that is not considered 'normal' and people judge things they don't understand based on their own opinion without knowing what it really is. Remember that there is nothing wrong with being into ddlg and it is a part of who you are which is perfectly okay. it is a consensual kink that is not causing anyone harm by being into it and if you ever feel shame for having those feelings you can talk to people into this dynamic as they will understand and can help when you have those feelings.

[lildebbie]

I am also relatively new, but I know it is totally normal to have the feelings you are having and you are absolutely not alone. For me this dynamic has helped me grow a lot and get over a lot of past issues and know myself better. I have a Daddy and he helps me with a lot of things, but also doing things for myself helps a lot too. Being on here is a good step, doing reading of resources and posts on here helped me see that I'm not weird and shameful and that what I'm experiencing is something that a lot of people experience. Also talking in the chat room or making friends on here, or somewhere else, but talking to people who are accepting and understanding can be really great and combat shame. Having some items and fun activities for being little are great for me too. Coloring, watching Disney movies, playing with toys, using a sippy cup or pacifier, cute little outfits or accessories etc can really go a long way in just making you happy about being little and enjoying it, having a lot of positive associations with it. I something I read on here or some other similar website was to use being little as a way to relax and decompress from all the stresses in life, to be able to handle the hard stuff better, and knowing that you have something like that to do later while you're going through something challenging can be really great.

 

As others have said there is absolutely nothing wrong with having a kink or lifestyle or hobby that isn't hurting anyone, as long as you're having healthy relationships with yourself and others it can be something that you can really enjoy and it can help you get to know yourself and can be really healing too.

[Guest littlegirl707]

Hi everyone 

I think this is the hardest part about ddlg. You will see tho theres lots of little and daddy relationships. We are not alone here. It took me years to realize there was others like myself. I don't recommend telling anyone in the so called norm world. You don't need judgment. For me this is the one they make fun about. Especially the real little littles. On tv and talk shows. I have to walk out of the room when the tv show is even on thats making fun of it. I happy to welcome you to this comunity its very understanding and full of love. I feel its the best relatioship you could have, the deepest on all levels. So explore here theres lots of answers. Thanks for sharing.

[Guest winniethepooh96]

Hello! I’ve struggled with my little side ever since I discovered it. I know my family wouldn’t understand and generally I’m independent, able to handle life alone. However, I am childlike and love little space! I do not have any advice on how to beat the shame and guilt, but just wanted to let you know you’re not alone!