How to deal with touch starvation and little space alone?

[Omega1983]

Does anyone have any tips on dealing with trying to go through little space alone? Also I suffer from touch starvation a lot does anyone have any tips for that? I’m pretty Desperate at this point. I’m trying to get my hands on a weighted blanket but they cost a lot.

[Guest Loki]

I wrap a blankie into the shape of a person and cuddle it. Hope that helps.

 

Run your hand along wherever your skin is. Arms/legs/etc.

 

Read readerXcharacter romance fanfics. Reading is hullicinating to squiggly letters after all

[Little Illy]

Body pillows are widely successful in these situations. I used to sleep with one that was longer and wider than myself, and sleep with a second one that was about my size. 

 

With touch starvation - I recommend transferred touch. Go to family and friends and tell them you need a hug. As a friend to hold hands for a little while, just so you don't feel so deprived. It is no substitute for a partner, I completely understand that, but it can help ease the extreme emotions, even just a bit. Another thought is a service animal. I have severe tactile issues and one of the reasons why I am obsessed with puppies... they give the love some of us desperately need. If you are going through a personal crisis (even if the crisis is "just" missing tactile connection) a service animal may be up your alley. Of course, speak with a professional to determine if it is.

 

As for littlespace - I was never able to go into it alone, and I tried for 5+ years. It just didn't happen. Even when Daddy and I got together and were face-to-face, I acted a wee bit more like a little, but still didn't fully go into littlespace. For some of us, littlespace is the hardest mindset to reach because it is us at our most vulnerable. Therefore, exposing ourselves like this can take a ton of time and patience with ourselves. We have to grow comfortable with the thought of us in littlespace alone, because then that means we have balanced it out. It means we don't require a Mommy or a Daddy to get us there, AND it means we have started feeling more comfortable with our desires and identity (of course this isn't for everyone!). 

 

Go slow with the littlespace, take baby steps. And during those baby steps try to figure out why you love littlespace so much. By understanding yourself, you will ultimately open up more and more. 

 

I wish you the best of luck

[LittleJayMay]

Edited May 27, 2018 by LittleJayMay

[Guest Looby-Lou]

It's not clear if you have trouble getting into little space alone, or if you struggle with the feelings of being little but on your own?

 

For the touch deprivation, there are some good suggestions above.  I would add that stroking, as an action, can be a positive sensory experience. A velvet cushion, a fluffy toy, a real animal, your own skin. The actual motion of stroking can be very very soothing. Just find things that you like the feel of and get stroking!

Hugging yourself, or holding a teddy, pillow, blankie etc. can provide a bit of comfort.

 

If you have a friend who could give you a simple massage, or if you can afford to pay for massage, it's a wonderfully healing touch therapy.

If you have friends that you see IRL, can you greet them with a hug? No need to say anything about your needs if you don't want to.

 

Nothing truly replaces the feeling of another person touching and holding you. We all need that, so many people don't have it and suffer in silence, so I admire you for speaking out about it. I know from my own past experience it can feel like a horrible & lonely place. 

I hope you can find some comfort in your own way, and remember that this is just a stage you're going through, it's not the rest of your life.

[jelloprincess]

I’m trying to get my hands on a weighted blanket but they cost a lot.

 

You can DIY one for pretty cheap. If you basic to intermediate sewing skills you can make one similar to what you could purchase, but even without knowing how to sew you can make a decent one.

 

This is a tutorial for a no-sew weighted blanket.

https://www.yorkvilleblankets.com/diy/diy-weighted-blanket-no-sew/

I've used a similar method to make weighted lap pads for kids with autism before, and I'm currently working on a twin/full size blanket for myself using this method. My preferred filling is actually clay cat litter, because it's incredibly cheap. I buy 20lb bags for like $3, which should be enough for a full size, super heavy weighted blanket for anyone up to about 200lbs. (From what I've read, doctors recommend that the blanket is no more than 10% of the body weight of the person using it.)

 

I actually just purchased a 7ft teddy bear for myself yesterday for touch starvation when my hubby goes to basic training -- it's supposed to arrive later this week. I'll update when I get it. I bought this one.It was the best price I could find for what I wanted that didn't look like it would fall apart. I know that you can also purchase just the shell, and then fill it with fluff, pillows, etc. on your own, much more cheaply. I might add weights into my bear's arms to make it feel like it's hugging me back once I get it (by opening the seams and adding in a duct taped ziploc full of kitty litter like the weighted blanket tutorial). 

 

Before purchasing the bear I was considering taking a large set of fuzzy mens' pajamas and sewing a big stuffed cuddle doll out of them -- similar to a grappling dummy. You could do it as simply as sewing old clothes together into a human shape and then stuffing with fluff, or go a step up and roll old towels into arms, legs, and a torso shape and filling it that way so that it's actually kind of firm. You could add ziplocs full of rice/beans/cat litter to add weight if you wanted. If you wanted to go all out here's a detailed tutorial on building a grappling dummy It's really involved and requires a certain level of handiness, but the end result looks good. If I were to build something like this I would add a soft layer after the pool noodles, but that's just me. Tbh these kinds of dummies and dolls can look kinda creepy, but if it helps I think it's worth it.

 

 

Read readerXcharacter romance fanfics. Reading is hullicinating to squiggly letters after all

 

This helps me a lot!! ASMR cuddle roleplays are kind of in a similar vein to this and those have been helpful for me, too.

 

If you have a friend who could give you a simple massage, or if you can afford to pay for massage, it's a wonderfully healing touch therapy.

 

Massage sounds like a great solution!! Maybe even massage chairs? Some gyms have them for members to use, malls often have them in the little sitting areas, etc..

[Omega1983]

It's not clear if you have trouble getting into little space alone, or if you struggle with the feelings of being little but on your own?

I mostly can’t get into little space alone. I feel like I need someone there to keep me safe because I’m very open in that state.

[jelloprincess]

I actually just purchased a 7ft teddy bear for myself yesterday for touch starvation when my hubby goes to basic training -- it's supposed to arrive later this week. I'll update when I get it. I bought this one.It was the best price I could find for what I wanted that didn't look like it would fall apart. I know that you can also purchase just the shell, and then fill it with fluff, pillows, etc. on your own, much more cheaply. I might add weights into my bear's arms to make it feel like it's hugging me back once I get it (by opening the seams and adding in a duct taped ziploc full of kitty litter like the weighted blanket tutorial). 

 

Update: I got the bear today, and I loveee him!    He's soooo cuddly! I took the best nap ever with him as soon as I got him out of the vacuum bag. I absolutely recommend giant teddies! I know they can be kinda pricey, but I think they're worth it if you struggle with touch starvation.

[Mary33emamb]

Hi,

 

This subject is kind of funny, but I have the same problem. One of my friends advised me to go for a massage, but one time a got a bad massage, the second time in the salon was a bad smell so I couldn't relax.

So I decided to purchase a massage chair which will give me the relaxation I need in the comfort of my own home, with the smells I like and in the meantime I can think about whatever I want without strangers walking around me. But I couldn't decide which massage chair to purchase. I was looking around a lot but there is a lack of information, I found an article which is pretty specific about massage chairs and it's straight to the point.

If you find a better solution before I purchase it please let me know