need help coming out as a little to my family

[Pweettyprincess]

Hello

I a little I've known for quite a while but have suppress it because of how my family are. I'm from the Caribbean and my family are kinda on the judgemental side, once I caught watching ddlg lifestyle and they started talking about the community I tried telling them their nothing wrong with the lifestyle and its quite normal and they kinda threatened to put me out. I kinda need advice on how I can explain to them I am a little.

[Guest aphroditelaughs]

Why do you feel like you need to tell them? If they're threatening to kick you out it's probably better to not say anything.

[CaresAlot]

One of the things I ways always taught and teach is that you want to control your destiny. The big example I always used was you don't want to get involved in a criminal act.  You can get put in jail, go to court and basically your destiny is in the hands of others.  When you live with somebody and do not have the means or skills to support yourself you don't control your destiny.  Where your life goes is dependent on what others decide.

 

If you want something that your family is not going to be okay with then put yourself in position to take charge of where your life is going (control your destiny).  Best way you can do this is education.  Get a degree or learn a skill that is always in need and will support you (both a degree and skill puts you in great position).  Even if you have a Daddy - this is something you need to keep moving forward on.  You hope that relationship is forever, but life happens and you have to be alone you need this skill set.

 

Even in the process of getting into a relationship you control your destiny.  This is done by communicating your expectations - you never want to just let things occur and take what you get.  If you don't then somebody else controls your destiny and you may not get to be the Little you want to be.  Maybe you can get lucky and it works out but never rely on luck for things to come out the way you want.

 

Bottom line is that you need to put yourself in the position to control your destiny before you have to leave,  Figure out how to do that and you can pursue anything you desire. 

[PizzaOnARoof]

Most of the time its best to keep it to yourself.

[Guest Dulci]

It's not 'coming out'.

 

You wouldn't tell your parents if you're into gangbangs and anal sex... So why tell them that you're into ddlg?

[Guest SUeB]

You don't need to tell them anything. None of my family (apart from my adult eldest son) has any idea about me being submissive, or any offshoot of that, such as the lg, pet, slave parts of me.

Absolutely no purpose, or reason whatsoever to share the intimate details of any part of this.

[Guest Appacheian]

I have to agree, There’s no reason to share this with your family. And if you do there’s a very high probability it will not be understood or could cause division. I never discuss my DDLG side with vanillas, they have no concept of it and why should they. It’s the way I am, I understand it and I feel no purpose in trying to explain it to others. Of course I would wish everyone who knows me and loves me could share how I feel. That’s not going to happen.

[LittleJayMay]

There's no reason to tell them. It is a kink. I have only told my sister because me and her are really close and I know her kinks. If they are threatening to put you out I wouldn't continue to talk to them about ddlg.

[Guest Little Otter]

OK to everyone saying it's just a kink. It is *not* just a kink for everyone. And it may not be for OP either. Many of us operate in little space at some capacity full time or most time. I know many littles only go to little space for sexual reasons, or can only get into little space when they have a dom to put them there... For many that is not the case. There's even a whole non-sexual littles community called cglre where their little space isn't sexualized whatsoever and they in fact despise the sexualization of little space. 

 

Age regression, fyi, is a legitimate and studied psychological condition developed from early trauma and comes naturally for many as a means to cope with various mental health issues. For many of us that are within that spectrum, like myself, there is a sexual component as well. That is not the only use of little space though, and for me I did "come out" to a lot of people because they are at my house often, we communicate and hangout often. Many times I end up "feeling little" non-sexually when communicating with them because its' so insanely easy for me to be put into little space. So I wanted them to know why I may see a little... different. Besides the fact that they're my friends and I like to share important things about my life with them which is normal.

 

So based on this, if OP wants to be "little-ish" (as I call it) more often, day-to-day, then yes this would be sort of a coming out and this question would be legitimate and fair. If she wants to be little more often just for the sake of enjoying being little, that would be way different than if it were a kink alone.

 

OP I would recommend maybe not mentioning it if you feel you may be kicked out for this. I know it sucks, and you may have to just simply cope with not being in little space as often as you like, but the potential alternative is much worse IMO.

[Guest Arc]

Why do you want to tell them? It's quite a personal thing, and none of their business (unless you genuinely want it to be). If you are wanting acceptance from them, maybe think about if and why you need it.

 

Them threatening to put you out is a pretty sure sign they aren't willing to listen. They seem to be quite against it and if it's not something they wish to hear about it's not okay to force it on them. Explaining to someone who is not open to listening is the same as explaining to a brick wall. It won't go in. They seem like they've already made their minds up on it, and while I'm sure you have good intentions it might not be the best idea for you to explain things. They don't want to listen and there's a chance you might get hurt if you try make them listen. 

 

I personally see no reason to tell them. It's different when people want to learn, but unless they're willing forcing it on them isn't fair and isn't going to end well. It's a personal thing so as long as you are happy and confident in who you are that's all that matters

[xBabydollx]

Kink or not. Sexual or not. Age regresssor or not...I don't think ANY of the varieties are worth getting kicked out for. u said it ur self that they are judgemental, so I doubt they are open minded enough to fully grasp the concept, so unless they push the topic and want to genuinely learn more, I would stay quiet/keep it to myself. Since u have already been caught, I would suggest downplaying it because no, this lifestyle is not normal. It is not something the average person take part in. So ofc many ppl have negative misconceptions about it. Im sure u feel the need to clear it up, but knowing how judgy they are, is it worth getting kicked out for? u could downplay it and simply tell them about age regressing and how helpful it can be to help ppl cope with trauma and stress, and that doctors even back it up. Even if this isn't the case for u, or the full story of ur situation, I would honestly leave it at that since it is something they could possibly understand once hearing how common age regressing is and the link it have with actual doctors (ppl who's views they are likely to respect and accept). Do what u think is best, but with such a high risk, I would tread carefully.

[Little Illy]

Copy and pasting this for a second time today: 

 

I don't understand why a lot of the community feels this dire need to 'come out' to their parents. I am NOT saying they are wrong for wanting to! I am simply stating I don't feel that way and therefore it is very hard for me to understand this specific need.

 

When I think of this side of myself, I know I desire friends and close ones to interact with my identity. But I have absolutey no desire to include someone in on this part of me who 1. isn't supportive or 2. I know would want nothing to do with it. 

 

For me, this lifestyle is equal to "bedroom" discussion. I know a lot of people aren't sexual as a little, but what I mean is that this lifestyle makes people so uncomfortable it can be equivalent to discussing private, sexual details. We all have normalized this dynamic, and we all want to be accepted, HOWEVER, I don't think we have the right to force it upon people who are made uncomfortable by it. If we are a member of this dynamic we have to be mature enough to realize that this dynamic freaks people out! And we can do our best to try to educate someone, but that doesn't mean we should be forceful and have expectations.

 

I met someone who was pissed that their parents had a volatile reaction. Yet when I asked about it, I found out she knew her parents would react that way. So... why do that? Why do that to yourself and why do that TO THEM?! Do your parents know that you love licking ass or love deep throating or any number of things? Then why do they NEED to know you use diapers, pacis, etc? They really don't.

 

Now before anyone gets angry: Yes I know people want their family to accept them for who they are. Yes I understand some family will be totally accepting. Yes I understand that some family just need to hear the explanation and then they will get it. These are NOT the situations I am addressing. I am focusing on when a person know's their family would be distraught and decides to do it anyways. 

 

The biggest reason why I disagree with coming out so candidly is because of the risks it can cause the dynamic:

 

- What happens if you come out because you need support? Now all you have is hositlity. How is that helpful?

- What if you come out because you want to freely express yourself? Well, now you have gained an unsavory reputation that can possibly affect your future.

- What if you came out because you want your parents to accept you and your partner? Now your partner is at risk for slander.

 

And so on.

 

There are SO MANY GOOD reasons why to come out. But at the same time, I hate to be a bitch, but there is a time place. And 8 times out of 10, you know (general you) how your parents would react. And during those 8 times out of 10, I think it is silly to expect something different.

 

You can BE yourself around your parents without OUTING yourself. I watch Disney with my father, he watches me geek out over "kid things" and yet I have never come out to him. Would I ever wear a diaper or use a paci or call my partner 'Daddy' in front of him? Absolutely not! But he has ACCEPTED me for who I am because I am MYSELF when around my parents. But like lingerie, I don't "dress up" my identity. And I don't feel the need to. I could be wrong, but I feel there are many ways to get your family's approval without coming out. But I could be wrong as I honestly don't feel this need for people to have a label (little) for me.

 

This is all my opinion and my opinion only. I AM NOT SAYING I AM CORRECT AND ANYONE ELSE IS WRONG. This is simply how I view this whole issue. Please do not take offense to what works for me!  

[princessfreckles]

I agree with everyone above who says not to tell them. It would only strain your relationship and possibly cause you to lose your home. It has no benefit. I come from a family who is close minded and would never think to open up to them because they would never understand it and wouldn't try to. It would be an uphill losing battle that truthfully isn't worth it. I wouldn't tell them. I understand hiding it is difficult, but in the long run it's better at least until you have a place of your own and the immediate threat of being thrown out of your home isn't hanging over your head. 

[Redneck-Kitty]

You don't need to come out to them