Rules I want but don't follow

[lilgumdrop]

I have been blessed with a very helpful, safe, driven daddy and she and I sat down and made rules a couple weeks ago. I am having trouble following the rules we have set for my daily routine---I don't think it's because I want punishment, although she and I have talked some about how I need to start taking the commitment we made to the rules more seriously, and I agree, yet little change.

 

I think part of the issue is I'm sorta depressed and have trouble taking care of myself. I have chronic pain and fatigue and need to be taking care of my body but have trouble following the basic functions of properly eating and hydrating for the day. I'm not great at routines. I guess I would just like advice from other littles that have trouble taking care of themselves, following routines/rules that are only for their benefit, etc. I just feel so silly and useless all the time that I don't do the simple things needed to take care of and improve myself--- things I agreed to! Meditating 10 mins a day, 20 mins of sunshine a day, 3 meals a day, etc.

:/ 

[SharkPrince]

I've been through a similar situation and what I found helped were changes to the rule.

I have had issues eating in the past and we had a rule where I had to eat x meals a day, the issue was sometimes that was near impossible and I would drive me self crazy with worry that I had broken rules. The solution we found was to rephrase it, I have to at least attempt to eat or call my big around meal time and explain how i was feeling, if I didn;t manage to eat I wasn't particularly punished but if I did eat I got treats.

 

For some a reward for following the rules, at least for the first small time period, helps to motivate them to follow the rules more. I would suggest sitting down and talking about the rules though because if you can;t force yourself to follow them yet, maybe they're just a little too much at the moment and they need to be scaled down.

[WhysperKit]

I'm the same way. That's why I'm sitting down with Daddy this weekend and writing out a schedule for every day, which is easier to follow than rules (if that makes any sense?). I usually only follow a handful of my rules so we're doing a revamp this weekend of them. Sometimes I'll eat breakfast, sometimes not. Some days I can't be bothered to do basic functions like shower or brush my teeth, drink water... I find it helps if you just start  doing one thing, like your 20 minutes of sunshine? Maybe scale that back to just a couple of minutes, initially. Or the 3 meals a day? If you can't do that many, scale it back too! Daddy wanted me to drink a whole bottle of water a day but that was too much, so I bought a literal sippy cup and started with that. Baby steps! 

 

He understands my depression and anxiety, ptsd, physical problems can get in the way sometimes but I should still be trying to do stuff every day. You just gotta start small and work your way up.

~Ginger

[abc1994]

Hi,

 

As a general thing, rules should evolve through time and adapt to your personal (physical and psychological) needs, your dynamic with your caregiver and your needs as a little.

 

First, its vital to keep the rules ''flexible'' when mental state is not 100% collaborative. For example, you could set your rules as tasks that you have to do and say that you're gonna do at least 5 out of 7 of them. This way, you can achieve goals (which is rewarding) and feel like you still please your cg. Also, from what I understand from your situation, maybe you should see with your cg to ''make the steps less big''. For example, starting by just getting outside for a minute before staying for the whole 20 minutes.

 

About the dynamic and the little feeling, there will comme a time where the need for structure and the ability to withstand that structure will be easier. Basically, I think you need to be patient and give you both the time to ease into the ''rules'' thing.

[cuppycakes]

I think you should read through this: (sfw)

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/12727-a-starting-point-for-rules-rewards-punishments/

 

It's from the resources section. A lot of the advice you've already been given is said here, but I still think it's worth a read :3 good luck!

[neworder]

I've needed to issue the 3 meals a day and sunshine rules, too. But rules weren't something I'd issue then forget about:

 

9am. Did you eat breakfast?

915am. Only a banana? Eat a cup of yougurt.

12pm. It's sunny out. Now a good time for you to get some sun and listen to your new album. Am I going to pick your lunch or you going to be a big girl today and do it by yourself?

 

Etc....

 

Gauge the amount you need to nitpick every little thing or few, depending on their ability to go thruout the day without guidance.

Hopefully there is a natural progression where they become more autonomous and you can ease up on every little detail. Keep an eye on their going into depression, stress, or crisis as their self-care can deteriorate quickly