Hiding it and the sadness

[Guest Fleur-Angelique]

So i am in my little space quite often. But I am forced to hide it - sneak around and lie and It really fets me depresssed at times! can anyone relate and how do you deal with it? context belllow...

 

 

Thing is.. this winter i became homeless and had to move back in with my family until i finish my degree. 

They of course know nothing about this but the thing is... 

 

I have to sneak around when buying clothes that appeals to my Little/Middle side. I am an Aspie and as a result lots of people around me have troble accepting me as an adult - they refuse to believe i succesfully kept a home for 5 years, always explain things to me seceral times like im stupid. really they dont understand that im an independant adult and have been for ages. 

This means i have a seperate 'Little' wardrobe that i must litterally hide. I only wear them at the dubgeon when i go to the capital - and i must lie about it and say im going to all these random 'parties'. I feel like they are basically looking for proof that I am not capable - and I am terrified they would discover it and just use it to say its because I'm 'immature'. I am sorry this is such a long block of nonsense but I just feel really terrible right now - it makes me feel like a criminal when I have to constantly worry about being caught.

[PrincessPear]

I'm so sorry you have to hide the fact you're a little/middle. I hope you find freedom and resolve soon. Honestly, maybe you can find some low-key little activities you enjoy like coloring or collecting stuffies. (I'm 28 and I'm still obsessed with stuffies.)

 

I'm not sure what else I can say to make you feel better, but my heart goes out to you. <3

[Guest Babykitkat 23]

i actually face the same problem. My family consantly trys to find ways to belittle me, at ever turn its insult after insult. Ive felt the same way you feel....i know how frustrating it is to hide it, to keep your self safe from constant rejection from those who are supposed to support you. I]After years of being told im not good enough, I have no value, or never gonna be that little star child they wanted. I develeped my own kind mental armour.....Dont let it become you though. Look at ever thing you did in your life and ask your self did feel happy in those times, did you feel comfertable, did you feel like you. Dont forget that feeling. If your family cant see how much of a grown person you are then thats a loss on them not you. Do what you need to do to pick your self up from this situation, and you can have that freedom again. I keep losing jobs over being sick, or just not good enough for the postition, then at home im not even good enough to wash a plate......i know thats a load of bolany and i decided i wouldnt take that any more. Im getting my own place, im getting a new job and im not gonna let people who decided im not going to be anything lead my life.

 

I also found that doing things out of spite is a great motivater...like when some one says you dont look like a person who would like watching disney movies, have a disney marothon. some says they dont think you looj good in green, time to wear green and rock it. Be your self and if they dont ean to except you, well that isnt your problem.

 

always rise above your problems and do what makes you happy in life

[PrincessSakura]

I know I'm new here, but I totes understand. I spent a huge part of my life trying to hide me because I was always told "what will others think?" or "what will people think of the family?". One day, I just realized being different was good. It's boring to be like everyone else, so in most things, I don't care what anyone else thinks. Being little is different though because there are a lot of people that just don't understand or they won't understand.  I was really weirded out by the whole thing for a little while even. For me, I'm just now really realizing that it's ok to be little. I do hide it a lot, and really the only person that does know about it is my Daddy, and he's been just amazingly patient with me and encourages it. When I'm not with him, I tend to color a lot or draw. I do have stuffies that I loves, especially my Yoda. And if I have to be at a family thing, I tend to go play tag with the kids. If you're lucky enough to have a bunch of kids near you, have fun with them. (I hope that doesn't sound weird and it's not wrong to suggest that- still learning the rules). I tend to relate better to the kids than to the adults plus, my little can come out and play some without anyone being judgey. Coloring, Candyland, freeze tag....all fun things. 

[ALittleAndAMom]

I have to hide it too. Not just around family, but in town. I'm a little with my own kids so I say my paci belongs to the baby. My sippy belongs to my toddler. I sit and watch cartoons with my toddler. My coloring stuff hides in my closet. As far as little clothes goes. Well I haven't been able to get any but my Mickey mouse pajama bottoms that I love because they are soft and I say I got them as a gift so no one can be rude because you have to use a gift.

[Guest Alt.Pan]

I get so anxious and panicky just thinking about buying anything little or revealing myself to my close friends. One of guy-friends found out his former roommate was into pet play or something similar and just talked so badly about him to me calling him a freak and a weirdo:(.

 

Dating and being into ddlg definitely doesn't make anything easier for me. However, I hope to find boyfriend or (hopefully a daddy)  that accepts me and make more friends that accepting of this type of lifestyle.