I left fetlife .

[Guest LittleAngel93]

Hey I’m new here and I just came from fetlife . I asked a simple question in their newbie forums about rules and dominance from my Daddy Dom who doesn’t care for structure but I do. I received nothing but rude comments , on how you can’t demand your daddy to give you rules . Which I never said I demanded it of him at all! I decided to make my own rules to go by and then show them to daddy . I feel this is the better way To approach things rather then follow advice from subs on fetlife telling me to “ reevaluate my relationship or find another Dom “.

 

People are so mean sometimes , I wish I had a thicker skin. But I’m here now , hi everyone .

Edited May 19, 2018 by LittleAngel93

[LB Chris]

It's a relationship so you both should talk about what you'd like, what need from it and how that is to run not one side laying it down as is. Be prepared to review it from time to time too.

[Guest LittleAngel93]

My daddy knows I made some rules for myself and he approves of them . And it’s worth reviewing from time to time yes . I’m just glad to be away from fetlife

[Angel24]

I've been on fetlife for less than 24 hours now and I've already noticed a lot of cold and rude comments that are simply just unnecessary. I'm sure you'll find better support here for sure. I wish you all the luck in the world for you and your daddy:)

[Guest BabyPeach]

I'm not on Fetlife and probably never will be because I hate creepers (and I know there's probably plenty lurking around on there), but you didn't do anything wrong.  You didn't "demand" this of your Daddy, you created a list of rules for yourself that your Daddy approved of.  It sounds like you two are communicating your needs and agreeing on what is feasible for both of you.  If your Daddy isn't much of a rule creator, but agrees that you should create your own rules..........what's the problem?  I don't see one.

 

And hiiiiiii! You'll find this forum much friendlier, I'm sure.

[Guest Appacheian]

Ive never been on fetlife and don’t intend to. Mainly because I have no need of it. As a daddy/Dom I did all my own research and avoided the “you should be doing this/you should be doing that” people. They obviously know less about it than I do but are happy to give their biased and blinkered advice. There is no text book, no manual, and the last thing you need are preachers. You have to make this relationship your own, it’s unique. Yes there are helpful guidelines but that’s all they can be. For myself I believe in structure, it gives a little security and safety to know limits and boundaries of behaviour. But you can decide all that yourselves. Good luck and don’t listen to fools.

[Guest SUeB]

i have been on fetlife on and off for the last few years. It's an adult site with often blunt and no nonsense people. Nothing wrong with that if you know how to deal with negative opinions sometimes. Doesn't bother me in the slightest. Not a good idea to let comments by complete strangers upset you. Thats forums for you. You're not always going to hear what you want to hear.

[xBabydollx]

I agree with sueb. No matter where u go, there is always gonna be ppl with differienting views than u. Not everyone is going to be respectful about it either. If u dont want to listen to the advice of subs on fetlife, what difference is it to advice of subs from here? Some ppl may even be the same ppl from fetlife. My point is, the most helpful thing is to gain control of ur reaction to negativity, because negativity will be everywhere. It's how u handle it that matters. As for the original situation, if u came up with rules and ur partner agreed to them/wanted them, then I personally dont see the issue. If that sort of arrangement works for u both, then it could never be 'wrong' just 'wrong' for other ppl, and thats fine since nobody is forced to do things how u or anyone else likes.

[Guest Arc]

I have been on Fetlife for a few years and I love it. I've made some great friends, both irl and online, and I find the groups can be really helpful and informative. I've run into a few nasty people but why should I let a few people ruin an entire website with tonnes of great people and great things? Why miss out on potentially good experiences because of one small bad one? You can't get far in life if you're going to avoid everything you have a bad experience with. People can be rude and nasty no matter where you go - it's not isolated to fetlife so you may as well learn to deal with it now.

[Frog]

I never had good experiences on Fetlife. I left and never looked back. I even got rude comments out of the blue. It wasn't worth sticking around for.

[Guest Arc]

I'm agreeing with SUeB. It's an adult website and people aren't always soft and friendly because that's life. If you can't handle that then maybe it's good you're avoiding it, but I don't think it's fair to blame the website. 

[Guest BabyPeach]

I don't think she blamed Fetlife for anything.  She said what her experience was there and that it's not for her.  Frog also stated the same.  Everyone is entitled to their own opinion about Fetlife or any other website (which was given here by both sides, but I see no blame placed by anyone).  I'm sure that there are people who dislike this website and I could care less.  I like it, they don't.  Though, this website doesn't tolerate extreme rudeness to others and that makes this site different from Fetlife.  That will make this site more comfortable for her and that's okay.

[Guest Arc]

In my experience if something is bad enough to be considered extreme rudeness on fetlife the caretakers or group owners are willing to do something if you report it. But because the site is so big things go unnoticed unless you report them because they can't actively monitor everything.

 

It's okay to have a preference to not be here. I'm just sharing my point of view so people don't think fetlife is that bad

[Guest LittleAngel93]

Thanks everyone for your responses . No I don’t blame the entire site , I actually love the website , I just have thin skin and I need to toughen up . Not everyone is going to be nice all the time . I understand that. Thank you all.

[Pinkegobox]

Joanne _Chan nailed it here. Regardless of what FetLife said, there's a relationship here between you two and you as the little, you need to have a fun and safe environment to be in and for that, communication is key.

 

Without clear communication and discussion it just won't work. You did the right thing by trying to get your point of view across and I hope that you and your daddy can discuss and work them out so you both have a great time.

 

As for FL replies, maybe the post could have been misconstrued (perhaps have a look at the wording again, standing back from what you intended the post to be to see if anyone could reasonaly read it differently) but if you can't read it any other way then don't take it to heart. When people are anons on the internet then you get all kinds of odd come out.

[baby_k]

I think what you did, created you own rules, is absolutely magnificient thing <3 Kudos!

 

If you like rules and they help you with your life, go for them. And if your partner is not really into making rules or supervising that you follow them, so you can do it yourself as you did. That is called problem solving and being an adult: getting the things you want without whining that others need to provide all you want/need/wish to you. So, well done for your independent solution

 

Sure, some think they _need_ to have those from their partner but if your partner is not into that stuff, it cannot be helped. If that is not a dealbreaker for you, it isn't. And if you did not have partner, what then? That sort of work arounds are something world needs more over people putting their happiness to other people's hands.

[Frog]

Yeah, it has no bearing on me how others feel about Fetlife. As BabyPeach, she likes it, I didn't. No reason to stay on a site if you don't click or you don't like it. I didn't, I left. I'm glad most others didn't have trouble.