Online chat and LDR

[jad2018]

I was hoping to get some advice on how to talk with a little online in what is effectively an LDR (or otherwise primarily online relationship). I'm new to being a daddy so very much learning as I go but I've hit a bit of a stumper. 

 

So the situation is we have a couple of issues to work on as people do. One of them is she's made a comment like:

 

"

When you talk to me online sometimes I realise it's been a while and I've been sort of friendzoned. I don't feel like you sub... It's daddy DOM not just being daddy and caring etc...

"

 

I can appreciate what she is saying but equally I've no idea what to do so hoping for some advice from those more seasoned/experienced. I mean, it's easy when a 'situation' or 'circumstance' occurs where you need to give instruction/correct a behaviour etc... but if everything is flowing smoothly in general chit-chat how do you assert and make them feel submissive?

I think that's the crux of it but all other potentially relevant advice welcomed.

 

(I know this is posted in CG cafe but advice from lurking littles is also appreciated too.)

[Maids]

Hello! I am currently in a LDR online DDlg relationship with my Daddy and it's the most structure I've had in my whole love life... I can give you some bulletin points to help you get the gist 

 

1. Set up a list of rules of whatever you like; Daddy has written in my contract that I must obey his commands and instructions to the best of my ability, maintain clear and open communication at all times and never assume things, never talk down on myself (sometimes I break that one!  ), take care of my body with proper grooming and foods selectively chosen for me, don't be angry with Daddy (be calm and mature when discussing), accept punishments, be loyal, always greet Daddy with a good morning message and a goodnight message when signing off, obey bedtime, do not fall asleep without saying goodnight to Daddy, never masturbate without Daddy's permission, remove my panties if he requests as long as it doesn't interfere with work or family obligations, inform him of plans in advance, never ignore Daddy, always wear my collar except during showers and sleep.
2. Daddy picks my body washes, shampoos, conditioners each time I shower. (Some of my rules just to give you the gist of our dependency)
3. Daddy picks my IRL outfits.
4. Daddy chooses my meals.
5. Daddy chooses my game-time.
6. I ask permission to go AFK from the computer to go to the bathroom or get food or whatever I am doing, unless it is an emergency.
7. I ask permission to eat sweets or drink alcohol of any sort.
8. I'm not sure what you already do in your relationship when it comes to punishments but we usually do self-impact with the crop or flogger and he determines whether or not I'm going hard enough and whatnot judging by sound. We also write lines or he restricts me of sweets or activities. (aftercare though!  )
9. Daddy chooses when we go to bed sometimes, have a shower, etc... we don't have a set time nor do I say when it's time. I only hint at it by saying "I'm hunnngryyy, Daddy!! Feed me nooooww!"
10.  Daddy also chooses my nail polish colour whenever I paint my nails. 
11.  Also, attempting to get into the habit of asking permission before applying make up to my face! I never wear make up, so... special occasions or just one of those days!
12.  I also getting into the habit of writing journal entries about Daddy and how he makes me feel and how I am feeling, incase I am shy to confront things... this may be a good thing for your sub if she wants to write entries about slowly (possibly?) introducing some new things for more D/s structure in your relationship and how it's effecting her daily without fully confronting you. Daddy reads my little diary/journal, no matter the entry unless I firmly say no.

 

That's about the gist of it... I hope this helped give you some more D/s ideas!

Edited May 18, 2018 by Guest

[Guest ~*~Sachita~*~]

We can give you ideas for what to do, but ultimately you should ask your little:

 

How long does it take until you feel friend zoned?

 

What would make you feel like my sub?

 

That small clip above kind of makes it sound like she is expecting you to do all of the work. I understand we can't judge your relationship based on that, but it is important that she understands this is something you guys need to do together. Every little needs a different amount of structure.

 

Here are some ideas for instilling domination in her every day life:

 

1. Choose the color of her bra and panties each morning.

 

2. Require pictures of her daily outfit or before she leaves or after she arrives at school/work.

 

3. Ask her what she ate that day or howany glasses of water she drank.

 

4. Require a good morning or good night or both text.

 

5. Tell her to drive safely and require a text when she arrives safely at destination.

 

6. Pay attention to her weather and ask if she has a coat, umbrella, sunscreen, whatever.

 

Again, every little is different. She needs to communicate what she wants to you if she isn't happy with the current arrangement.

 

Here is the current list of topics about long distance relationships. You might find something useful here:

 

Long Distance Relationships

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/75-long-distance-relationships/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/496-long-distance-littles/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/3340-rewards-via-long-distance/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/3934-long-distance-ddlg/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/4140-digital-rulesconsequences-public-discipline/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/4181-little-space-on-skype/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/4216-long-distance/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/5245-long-distance-punishment/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/5590-ldr-rewards-punishments/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/5800-long-distance-fun/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/6374-long-distance/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/6546-nervous-about-ldr/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/7895-sfw-rules-and-punishments-in-a-ldr/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/7974-long-distance-how-does-it-work-for-you/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/8691-long-distance-mommy/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/8722-long-distance-daddy/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/8804-long-distance-ddlg-relationships/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/9511-ldrs/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/9517-things-to-do-with-long-distance-daddy/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/9689-activities-punishments-rewards-in-a-long-distance-relationship/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/10096-long-distance-ddlg-relationships/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/10823-long-distance-daddies/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/11884-long-distance-punishments/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/12332-long-distance-relationships/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/12632-cgl-over-distance/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/13811-ideas-for-rewards-for-ldr/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/13995-wanna-do-something-special-for-daddy-in-an-ldr/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/14221-long-distance-relationships/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/15136-long-distance-little-space-ideas/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/15148-taking-care-of-a-sick-little-ldr/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/15195-long-distance-help/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/15296-an-app-for-ldr-cgs-and-littles/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/15436-making-daddy-feel-special-ldr/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/15450-ldr/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/15889-little-space-ldr/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/16750-ldr-gift-ideas/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/16904-how-do-you-make-your-little-feel-little-in-a-distance-relationship/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/16997-things-to-make-ldr-easier/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/18373-little-tasks-ldr/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/20686-how-to-make-my-ld-little-feel-better/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/20808-what-are-some-games-you-play-with-your-little-over-ldr/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/21857-long-distant-ddlg/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/22661-long-distance-ddlg-activities/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/23360-long-distance-sexual-punishments/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/23717-long-distance-relationships/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/23789-ldr-punishments-for-bratty-littles/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/24425-long-distance-relationship-advice/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/26129-ldr/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/26290-ideas-to-keep-an-ldr-daddy-feeling-loved/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/26748-ldr-resources/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/27558-long-distance-i-o-us/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/27102-long-distance-relationship-fussy-at-bedtime-need-help/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/28480-rules-specifically-for-ldr-not-being-together/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/30084-ldr-vs-irl/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/30864-long-distance-relationship-with-daddy/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/31910-ldr-aftercare/

[neworder]

I'd keep track of the weather for that same reason. But that's still a daddy thing, not a Dom thing.

 

1, 2, and 4 express dominance.

 

3 is still 'daddy'. Telling her that she must keep a daily log of what she eats and drinks is more dominance, without being 'master' (ie set very specific amounts)

 

In this day and age, a daddy dom doesnt have to be dominant. I've seen repeated over and over, ddlg is what you make of it.

 

Perhaps you should tell her you have daddy attributes, but not so much dom attributes, and to pretend to be dom would just seem fake

[Guest Spookycupcake]

Hi it all depends on if you want to actually be a daddy dom. My daddy is not a dom and I'm perfectly fine with that. Not every relationship is going to have the sub and dom part to it. 

[jad2018]

Thanks for the thoughts so far! Much appreciated.

 

Yeah we both want it to be daddy dom. Not just daddy.

 

Obviously it's much easier to assert the dominance in person than at distance or over online chat.

 

Also, wow! Thanks for that huge list of LDR topics.

 

She's also expressed that she loves to feel owned and also that asking for permission makes her feel owned. So I'm also thinking that setting lots of things she needs to ask for permission to do is also a way to go. Not excessively but at a good balance.