Pregnant and Abandoned by Daddy

[Guest Princess_unicorn_pants]

I'm so miserable! I thought I'd found the perfect Daddy. He was like a dream come true. We had our ups and downs but always worked it out. Then last week my world ended. 

 

Daddy told me when we first met that he had a vasectomy years ago so he was safe and couldn't have anymore babies. We even talked about having it reversed after he asked me to marry him so that we could. 

 

I found out last week that I am 4 weeks pregnant. His first response was "Don't be stupid, just go get an abortion. I don't want any more kids" I was crushed. I have had 3 already, but I absolutely do not believe in abortions. This started days of being called names, told him trash that he should have left in the gutter and told that if I don't get rid of the baby he will be gone. He doesn't want his name involved with this kid at all. 

 

I'm so heart broken. I don't know how I'm ever going to trust another human being ever again. 

[Guest aphroditelaughs]

I'm sorry this happened to you. I don't know where you live, but maybe there's some local assistance you can get? So you can go over all your options and find out if there's some financial and possibly emotional support you're eligible for. Try to build a support system if you can.

[xBabydollx]

Im sorry to hear you're going through this, but I am a little confused. u said he had a vasectomy and yet u are pregnant. u said y'all talked about him getting it reversed. Im guesstong he went through with it, which leaves me puzzled on why he is confused/shocked to find u pregnant. Getting it reversed doesn't like a man who, "doesn't want more kids."

[Panda God]

Im sorry to hear you're going through this, but I am a little confused. u said he had a vasectomy and yet u are pregnant. u said y'all talked about him getting it reversed. Im guesstong he went through with it, which leaves me puzzled on why he is confused/shocked to find u pregnant. Getting it reversed doesn't like a man who, "doesn't want more kids."

I know this sounds weird, but vasectomies aren't 100% effective at preventing pregnancies. I do agree that the situation is a little confusing, but it's possible that the guy was okay with the idea of another kid, and changed his mind when the OP found out she was pregnant.

[Guest Princess_unicorn_pants]

They are not 100 percent but the possibility is like .001% He told me he changed his mind about it all and didn't want to get remarried or have anymore kids a few months ago and the relationship had been slowly dying ever since. But then he suddenly started acting a lot better just before I got pregnant. It was one time in a couple months and since we had been fine to that point I had no reason not to completely believe him when he said he couldn't have anymore.

[PrincessKittenCupcake]

I'm the girl who got pregnant while on birth control. No method is 100% effective. My partner at the time also transformed from the man I thought I'd spend my life with to a cruel, hateful monster that I no longer recognized. He made similar threats, pressured me to terminate, etc. Darkest days of my life, hands down. That feeling of rejection and abandonment is impossible to describe.

 

For the sake of your sanity, you have to cut him off. He will only add to your misery. I kept hoping my partner would come around and do the right thing, but really, all I was doing was creating a high-conflict environment for myself at a time when I needed to be taking care of myself. The pregnancy hormones combined with his horribleness...it was just too much. I made it so much harder on myself by not just cutting him out of my life immediately.

 

Side note, just so you know, terminating will not solve the relationship problems. I did opt to end my pregnancy, and once I was no longer pregnant he went back to his thoughtful, amazing self, but the damage had been done. Even now, I dont struggle with the decision I made, but I do struggle to let go of the pain he caused me. I struggle to remember that I matter or have value. The impact of being emotionally abandoned when you're at your most vulnerable...its devastating.

 

I've literally been exactly where you are. You will be okay. You will trust again. You will love again. Not tomorrow, but someday. Feel free to add me if you want to talk.

[Guest Arc]

I'm sorry you are going through this. I cannot imagine how tough that is. 

 

You are going through a lot as it is with this massive change and I think he is being incredibly disrespectful and awful. You deserve to be treated better than that. There is no reason to call you names or threaten to leave. He played a large role in this so he has no right to brush it off like it's your problem and your fault. In my opinion he is being horrible and selfish and if he does not want anything to do with it then you should let him. I can't tell you what to do but seriously think about what is most important to you. You need to focus on yourself right now because you have a lot going on. Don't give in to others because of the stress because you may regret it later. You say you absolutely don't believe in abortions. Don't compromise your wants and beliefs for someone else. Do what is best for you. You will be fine and you will learn to trust again with time. 

[Guest Babykitkat 23]

In time you might find your self a bit better after this experience. You stuvk to your right as a person to choose what you wanted. You didn't give in after all what he put you through. Your a strong person. You might not be able to see your future clearly now, but you will be able to look back at your self knowing you chose a decision that was right for you. It's never easy in these kinds of situations. But never giving up is one of the best things you did. You may not be able to trust others fight away. But trust your self to know what people are good and bad.

 

Good luck

[MadelynVictoria]

You should cut him out of your life, and make him pay child support since he doesn't want to man up. He shouldn't get away with abandoning and abusing you.

[Guest Lil'shadowi_Kitsune]