Cheering up my daddy

[PrincessStuffieLover]

My daddy has confided in me that he’s struggling with depression right now and that he needs my support and love more than ever, he has a hard time sleeping and we end up having opposite schedules because of it, meaning that we end up spending a lot of time apart now, we live together though so I’m thinking of just gritting it and staying up all night with him so our schedules can match up, how else can I cheer up someone who’s depressed? And especially how can I make him feel more supported and loved?

[PrincessStuffieLover]

Also I apologize if I posted this in the wrong place, but wanted to ask other caregivers because I’d like a caregivers opinion on what to do to make him feel better

[Guest ~*~Sachita~*~]

These threads might help:

 

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/15756-daddy-and-depression/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/2853-daddies-with-depression/

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/10179-depression-on-both-sides-tw/

[Big Daddy D]

I'm going to be honest. You can't really cheer up someone with depression. He is capable of being happy, but depression is an illness and you can't cure it. I've struggled with depression in the past. Over coming it begins with changing the way you think. Please remember that it's never your fault that he's depressed, you didn't cause it or do anything wrong. Just do your best to encourage your Daddy, let him know you love him, and appreciate him. The rest he has to overcome himself. Depression can be a real relationship killer. I took me a long time to realize that I have the power to change the things in my life that make me unhappy, and even longer to have the confidence to actually do it.

His honesty with you was a big step. People with depression often suffer in silence. He opened up to you about it, because he wants to be a better partner and Daddy for you. Its important to remember that you cant fix him, he has to learn to fix himself.

I still have moments where I tell myself that I hate myself or want to die, but at least now I turn that thought right around in my head and remind myself that other people think I'm a pretty great guy, and I have a little who adores me and who I love very much. It's about countering every negative thought with positive thoughts. That's something you can help train him with, and he won't even realize you're doing it. Every time he criticizes himself or life in general, offer a positive thought. IE: He says "I can't do anything right. I'm a loser." Remind him that he takes very good care of you, and always makes you feel happy, safe and loved and you couldn't imagine a better Daddy.

 

I hope that helps a bit. Not what you wanted to hear, I know. If he ever starts to pull back from you, he's most likely convinced himself he's not worthy of you. Make sure he knows that his worth to you is for YOU to decide, not him. Put your foot down (yes even as a little) let him know that if he walks away, it's over. You will not take him back, but you will give him space if he needs it. Stop the cycle before it begins.

 

I'm mostly just drawing on my own experiences with depression and relationships. It took me almost 40 years to become stronger than my depression. Good luck.

Edited May 10, 2018 by Big Daddy D