Anxiety in DDLG.

[LilSubbi]

Hi to all littles and daddies. I've been waiting a long time for a DDLG forum, so my gratitude goes to the admins! :3

 

I have a question, you see, I suffer from anxiety. The reason for this has to do with childhood trauma. In the normal daily life when nothing out of the ordinary happens, I don't notice it as much, but when I see anything happening (or experience) that's close to what happened to me in the past, it hits me.

 

This includes punishments spankings, firm lectures, etc. I love spankings when they're sensual, but punishment is a whole different story. I know -- no one likes to give/receive punishments, daddies and littles a like. But when it happens to me, it's different. I get teeth-clapping, stomach-twisting, body-shivering and cold sweat-producingly anxious. It's so bad, that my daddy stopped giving any kind of punishments even when I seriously cross a line. Not only that, he's not content about giving sensual spankings now either, fearing I'll get hit by an attack. He's very protective.

We both really suffer from it, he has strong daddy urges that he can't really express and as sub/little, I need some form of punishment for infractions (but can't handle much).

 

I'm curious if any littles/daddies here are in a similar situation, and how do you deal with it?

 

Thank you for reading my story! ^^

[LB Chris]

I am not a medical or psychological expert but I think getting to the root of those anxieties really is going to be key to helping you.

I'm very loath to generalize but in generally speaking those of us brought up with some form or other of punishment spankings be it home or school, tend not to feel anxious around the fact we are to recieve any in ddlg or any other d/s setting although a number may prefer them over with sooner rather than later and don't associate it with being 'hurt' or 'hit' in a abusive way.

Social anxiety and me, well that's different. :$

[BH_Bambi]

Browse the forums, Internet and tumblr (try submissivefeminist or dominantlife for really good tumblr resources!) for ideas of punishments you may be able to handle. Make a list with your Big, establishing what you would be comfortable receiving and he would be comfortable giving - as much as a punishment can be comfortable

Also, maybe establish a system for checking in during sensual spankings, if you miss them. Use the traffic light system (red, amber, green) so he can quickly check where you are in regards to your anxiety. That may reassure him during those moments that you're enjoying what is happening.

[Guest Sae]

You need to go talk to a councilor about that and deal with your anxiety properly. :3 I have PTSD and I suffer from Childhood trauma so I totally understand. I get triggered too. So for me its a very slow process and its why I also take my time with DDlg and shorting things out i'm interesting it.

 

 One of the things to remember is one: Your in the here and now, and whats going on still has your consent. Even if you are punished you still consent to it. You have safe words, safe handsigns and at the end of the day, your still very very very safe.   <3 If you want to talk I'm here. but I will warn you, my ptsd is really bad so talking about trauma is super super hard for me. But I do know, sometimes even just opening up and breaking the silence that you've been put under really helps.   <3  So if you still want to talk. I'm here. :3 

 

 Maybe short out a different punishment. Like writing lines, or doing an Essay.  Something that isn't physically and it won't give you thoughts about the passed. Figure out something that you didn't need to deal with as a kid. 

[Beckie]

I have really bad anxiety, and I trust that when I find the right daddy, he'd help me through my panic attacks. I think safewords are VERY IMPORTANT! The traffic light system is also very helpful for your limits and exploring.

I also have some bad childhood trauma and a laundry list of psychological issues.I have been using my experiences to help others and have been making a career out of it. I am currently studying psychology and women and gender studies. I want to be a forensic psychologist who specializes in sexual assault and domestic violence especially with children and those with disabilities. But I'm available anytime you need someone to talk to.

[Guest Pouty Kitten]

Seeking professional help will be a great catalyst for those issues. I've gone to therapy for my anxiety as well and I'm still learning how to cope with it. Acknowledge where in your physical body that you feel the anxiety and kind of go from there. Awareness is very important when it comes to dealing with your emotions.

 

There are many different punishments that do not include spanking like writing lines, early bedtime, no phone time, corner time, etc.

 

If you want to incorporate sensual spankings, safewords should be your best friends. Establish them with your partner.