Daddy Has A Life

[GalaxyKitten]

My daddy has a girlfriend and a baby.. we don't live together and are hours apart.. Am I a bad little for being sad and jealous when he is busy with his family??.. Sometimes i just get so sad i want to cry and i feel so alone..

[Princess Kerri]

My daddy has a girlfriend and doesn’t live local so I feel your pain. I’m here to chat if you need to vent cry or anything else.

[Guest grumpystrawberry]

It's understandable that you're upset by his limitations regarding spending time with you. Do you 2 have a schedule made out? Maybe if you know time with him is coming up, then you won't feel so neglected. Is there anyone else that could help you as far as being a Caregiver when he isn't available? Like a "Babysitter", maybe? I would suggest communicating your feelings to him and see if you can work something out.

 

If it's too much for you and you're at the end of your rope, and there's nothing that can be done, then it might be time to end it and move on. The longer you stay in a relationship that's making you unhappy, the worse it's going to be for you in the long run. 

 

I hope you are able to figure something out! *hugs*

[Guest SUeB]

Sorry to be the negative sounding one here, but does his girlfriend know about you?

[Déphysios]

A relationship should make you happy and not sad. If you can not flourish freely, it's because you do not have the right daddy. So ask yourself if it is not time for you to go on another story, or you would be more in touch with your dad.

[Guest BabyPeach]

He has a girlfriend (who I hope knows about you but probably doesn't even if he says she does) and a child.  His attention should always go to them first because they're his family.  Not to be frank, but you are a side chick.  You either have to accept that or find someone who is single and can give you the attention you deserve (someone else, NOT the man with a child....he needs to be a good real father before anything else now).  

[Guest RoyG]

You're not bad for feeling what you feel, it's natural to have these desires. This makes me feel like you'd simply prefer a Daddy that's yours rather than one that prioritizes you after his girlfriend and his baby. That would make you incompatible, without anyone necessarily being wrong.

[Tinka]

i am sorry but he has a family. A FAMILY. A baby and a girlfriend! 

As a person whose father had another woman, this offends me. 

It does`nt matter if your title in his life is "little" you are the other woman in this relationship. The other woman. 

 

I do not attack you. But do you think your part in his life would be perfectly fine and accepted from his kid or his girlfriend? 

Do you think that you wouldn`t cause problems in this relationship? 

The only reason i take back what i wrote is only if you truly say that they know about you and him. But to be honest with you, i think they don`t. 

 

And eventhough he has a family and a kid specifically , you still feel jealous and you want more attention. 

This time, this effort, this energy, this dedication, this feeling, are things that he will cut from his family, to give to you.

I just dont understand this, honestly. 

[Guest Little Otter]

You have to compartmentalize things. Accept that you ARENT number 1 in his life, but likewise you two have something very special. Accept that what you two have is in fact special and Im sure he cares for you deeply, in a way that he doesnt his gf. Of course his family is #1, you have to accept that. If you cant simply cherish what he does give you, then this sorta relationship isnt for you and thats 100% OK.

[Guest BabyPeach]

i am sorry but he has a family. A FAMILY. A baby and a girlfriend! 

As a person whose father had another woman, this offends me. 

It does`nt matter if your title in his life is "little" you are the other woman in this relationship. The other woman. 

 

I do not attack you. But do you think your part in his life would be perfectly fine and accepted from his kid or his girlfriend? 

Do you think that you wouldn`t cause problems in this relationship? 

The only reason i take back what i wrote is only if you truly say that they know about you and him. But to be honest with you, i think they don`t. 

 

And eventhough he has a family and a kid specifically , you still feel jealous and you want more attention. 

This time, this effort, this energy, this dedication, this feeling, are things that he will cut from his family, to give to you.

I just dont understand this, honestly.

 

You need to remember that HE is the one with the girlfriend and child so if anyone is "wrong" in this situation, it is HIM. If he isn't polyamorous and he's cheating he will find someone to do it with even if it isn't the op.

[Tinka]

You need to remember that HE is the one with the girlfriend and child so if anyone is "wrong" in this situation, it is HIM. If he isn't polyamorous and he's cheating he will find someone to do it with even if it isn't the op.

 

i am sorry but he is not the only one in this. Just for the sake of the baby, i do not approve of this. Yes i am a nobody in your life, but you posted something in public, not all will agree with you.  We were all daughters of a father once, how would you feel if your father would have another woman? Its just a simple question. 

Yes the fault is on fathers` side, but also yours. Its never one sided. 

And all i am asking you to understand , is the little kid. If not its mother....

[Guest BabyPeach]

i am sorry but he is not the only one in this. Just for the sake of the baby, i do not approve of this. Yes i am a nobody in your life, but you posted something in public, not all will agree with you.  We were all daughters of a father once, how would you feel if your father would have another woman? Its just a simple question. 

Yes the fault is on fathers` side, but also yours. Its never one sided. 

And all i am asking you to understand , is the little kid. If not its mother....

I get what you're saying. As for me, I don't have anything to do with marrieds/in a relationship people, but some people don't care.

[Tinka]

I get what you're saying. As for me, I don't have anything to do with marrieds/in a relationship people, but some people don't care.

oh i have to apologize specifically to you because for some silly reason i thought you were the person who made this post. 

So , i apologize , i didn`t see. Nothing of the things i said , refers to you, sorry.

[Guest SUeB]

You need to remember that HE is the one with the girlfriend and child so if anyone is "wrong" in this situation, it is HIM. If he isn't polyamorous and he's cheating he will find someone to do it with even if it isn't the op.

Sorry, but no. Absolutely not. Anyone that chooses to get involved with someone already in a relationship (without his/her partner knowing and consenting) is also very much in the wrong. Your comment suggests there is no fault in knowingly getting involved with someone else's husband/partner etc. There is plenty of fault.

[Guest BabyPeach]

Sorry, but no. Absolutely not. Anyone that chooses to get involved with someone already in a relationship (without his/her partner knowing and consenting) is also very much in the wrong. Your comment suggests there is no fault in knowingly getting involved with someone else's husband/partner etc. There is plenty of fault.

 

That wasn't my intention, but I was trying not to be judgmental of the op.  My point was in reply to the person who is upset because their father had another woman.  In situations like that, the venom is often put on the other woman and not on the married person.  Like I said in a prior post, I don't get involved with marrieds/takens because for me that is morally wrong.  I'm also not the judge, and jury, of their situation.

[CinderKittens]

I think a lot of people here are forgetting that polyamory is also a relationship lifestyle.. His wife may very well know about her, we can't make assumptions. 

 

I am monogamous to the core so I understand how others feel but we shouldn't sit here flaming/belittling her until she tells us what is what.
However I'm under the impression that you're poly so why not speak to your Daddy about yourself getting a boyfriend who lives in your area? That way you can both still be together but also have people irl to fill those needs for you.

[Guest BabyPeach]

I think a lot of people here are forgetting that polyamory is also a relationship lifestyle.. His wife may very well know about her, we can't make assumptions. 

 

I am monogamous to the core so I understand how others feel but we shouldn't sit here flaming/belittling her until she tells us what is what.

However I'm under the impression that you're poly so why not speak to your Daddy about yourself getting a boyfriend who lives in your area? That way you can both still be together but also have people irl to fill those needs for you.

 

Hmmm, seems like if they were polyamorous he would make more time for her (that his girlfriend is aware of). I mean, polyamory is about making everyone comfortable and seen and cared for.  

 

Even if the op is polyamorous, I think that there was some good discussion here and not necessarily judgmental of anyone.  If op comes back and says she's polyamorous, fine.  If that's the case, she needs to have a discussion with Daddy AND his girlfriend so that she is getting her needs met too.  She shouldn't be "wanting to cry and feeling so alone".  If that's the case, maybe polyamory isn't for her. That type of relationship takes a certain level of maturity on all parts.

[Guest SUeB]

That wasn't my intention, but I was trying not to be judgmental of the op. My point was in reply to the person who is upset because their father had another woman. In situations like that, the venom is often put on the other woman and not on the married person. Like I said in a prior post, I don't get involved with marrieds/takens because for me that is morally wrong. I'm also not the judge, and jury, of their situation.

Fair enough. Me personally, i judge both the cheater and the one he/she is cheating with.

And on the subject of whether he is polyamorous, the judgement is on the very high likelihood and incredibly strong suspicion that he ISN'T polyamorous at all. Yep if it turns out it's all above board and his girlfriend is fully aware of everything, then that changes it.

But let's be honest, it's extremely doubtful that she is.

[Obsessive_Compulsive]

Hummm, well I don't know much but is it really necessary for ddlg relationship to be romantic? If it isn't necessary then he would technically not be cheating on his wife, just in a different type of platonic relationship with someone else who happens to be another woman.  

 

Anywho, my opinion on the actual problem is that you should never feel guilty about how you feel; they're your emotions and emotions are never a bad thing. I suggest you talk to your daddy and explain how you feel. It might not do much in terms of change but I'm sure that it will at least make you feel a lot better talking about it. Maybe you can work to make changes.

[Guest SUeB]

Hummm, well I don't know much but is it really necessary for ddlg relationship to be romantic? If it isn't necessary then he would technically not be cheating on his wife, just in a different type of platonic relationship with someone else who happens to be another woman.

 

 

Yes, if she does not know about it, then it's still cheating. You don't have to have sex to cheat on someone. If you have an intimate relationship with anyone in secret, behind your back partners back, then sorry but you're cheating on them in at least some capacity.

[neko]

Sorry to be the negative sounding one here, but does his girlfriend know about you?

What relevance is that to her original question?

[LittleKitten13]

What relevance is that to her original question?

If the guy's girlfriend doesn't know about her, it's cheating, plain and simple.  And if she knows that the girlfriend doesn't know about her, then she's just as bad as the cheater.  If she's under the impression that the girlfriend knows and is okay with it, that changes things.  Otherwise she doesn't need to be in the relationship and the question doesn't even need to be asked.

[neko]

If the guy's girlfriend doesn't know about her, it's cheating, plain and simple. And if she knows that the girlfriend doesn't know about her, then she's just as bad as the cheater. If she's under the impression that the girlfriend knows and is okay with it, that changes things. Otherwise she doesn't need to be in the relationship and the question doesn't even need to be asked.

Her original question was whether or not it was weird/bad to miss her daddy while he's with his girlfriend/child, though. Not whether or not we think her daddy is cheating on his family.

[Guest SUeB]

Sorry but of course its a relevant comment or question. We aren't just going to ignore what's actually important in a situation. And yes, funnily enough, the question of the girlfriend IS important. Should we just say yes it's okay to be involved in messing up some woman's life, but aw sorry you feel sad! This is real life. We are adults. And as such an adult,i won't step aside from what's right or wrong. This is a discussion forum. That's how discussions work. They follow their own pattern, not the one that the conversation starter WANTS it to follow.

[Daddyslol]

On the poly/cheating conversation/aspect of this, because due to personal experiences I have A LOT of venom for "the other woman", I'm going to try to pass over it as much as I can but I can't leave it completely alone.   Even if all adults involved consider themselves poly (although I can't see a person who knowingly entered a mature poly situation making the post the OP made) it's really dicey to involve children in that, especially babies.  WTH are you all thinking?

 

That said...

 

I won't say it's "wrong" to feel sad and lonely and wanting more attention from Daddy, but in your case it is highly naive and nonsensical.  You know he has a BABY!  Babies take a ton of time and work, even if his gf is doing the primary care of the child itself that's going to mean he's trying to meet a vastly heightened financial burden if he is an involved party in his child's life.  If you wanted a Daddy that would give you ALL the attentions and cuddles etc etc you want then it looks like you picked the wrong Daddy for you.  One where you aren't competing for attention with his children by someone else might be a better choice if it's causing you to feel this way.