My little/partner left me for another man

[Fourth]

I had been with her for 11 months, and she was the one that introduced me to the whole concept of dd/lg. I got into it very very quickly, and so did she. We were happy most of the time we were together, and we always told eachother that it would go on forever. Now that she has left, I am utterly heartbroken, and do not know what to do with myself. I put all of the attention I could into her, and always treated her the best I possibly could. But now that I have lost her, even getting through a night is hard, because we would call eachother every single night, and I'd sit there as she fell asleep. It made me happy. I was content. But now that I can't focus on her, I feel lost. Does anyone have any coping mechanisms, or advice? It would be super appreciated right now

[Guest Teena]

hi, i am so sorry for that ...!  

 

i was in this situation myself. It sucks so much. 

i was trying to talk to as many people as i could, from real life, from chatrooms, internet in general. Then i would watch funny videos/comedians/youtubers.

Then i would sleep as much as i could , or work as much as i could, anything to not think and to not stay in silence, because if i would , my mind would start reminding me of the pain. 

 

Its terrible, the pain, and no matter how many times people will tell you that they are happy and they want this forever, you still never know. 

i am so sorry you are going through this, give it time and if you feel you want to, go talk to a professional. Sometimes they might help  

May you get out of this situation fast. *hugs*

[Guest kronnologic]

Hey, I'm sorry for that but don't think it's the end of your life, even though that feeling and sense of numbness practically makes you wander helplessly.

 

A lot of people go through heartbreaks, you just need to focus on yourself now. Make this a turning point, a milestone on your life and change habits/looks/focus etc to help end the cycle of pain. You need a sense of new beginning to keep your mind distracted.

 

Nights are always going to be hard to get by, so my advice is to tire yourself the most you can during the day. If you don't work out, I suggests starting to as you can channel rage/frustration/pain/stress into lifting weights (it also makes you feel better about yourself when seeing results.)

 

There is no magic formula, there are some problems and situations that only time will heal but as stated before, you need to chat with everyone you can (friends, family, etc) to keep you from thinking of her. Thinking of her is pain right now, until it turns into a memory it will take a while.

 

Set goals, you need to say out loud (maybe into the mirror) that it's her loss. You have value as a person, you're unique and your individuality and the sum of your past experiences will be appreciated by someone in future. Everything's eternal until the day it's over.

 

 

Stay strong man, I don't know how or why you guys broke up, but from your speech it sounds final. You just tripped in life's journey and need to get back up. As an analogy, if you were walking down the street and you slipped/tripped and face planted the floor, surrounded by people, what would you do? Stay down or quickly get back up? That right, so get yourself together, summon all your emotional strength and subdue that dark stingy pain.

 

 

And make sure your next partner doesn't pay for any mistakes of this one. I'm not implying that you will, just that a lot of people unknowingly make it.

Edited April 22, 2018 by kronnologic

[Fourth]

hi, i am so sorry for that ...!

 

i was in this situation myself. It sucks so much. 

i was trying to talk to as many people as i could, from real life, from chatrooms, internet in general. Then i would watch funny videos/comedians/youtubers.

Then i would sleep as much as i could , or work as much as i could, anything to not think and to not stay in silence, because if i would , my mind would start reminding me of the pain. 

 

Its terrible, the pain, and no matter how many times people will tell you that they are happy and they want this forever, you still never know. 

i am so sorry you are going through this, give it time and if you feel you want to, go talk to a professional. Sometimes they might help

May you get out of this situation fast. *hugs*

Thank you so much for that... I really didn't expect for anyone to reply to this. You're right about not staying in silence, and just trying to work, because otherwise my headspace just changes back to when we were together. I'm sorry that you've had to be in this situation as well, I wouldn't wish it upon anyone. The hug is appreciated too, and I will try to get better    Thank you.

[Fourth]

Hey, I'm sorry for that but don't think it's the end of your life, even though that feeling and sense of numbness practically makes you wander helplessly.

 

A lot of people go through heartbreaks, you just need to focus on yourself now. Make this a turning point, a milestone on your life and change habits/looks/focus etc to help end the cycle of pain. You need a sense of new beginning to keep your mind distracted.

 

Nights are always going to be hard to get by, so my advice is to tire yourself the most you can during the day. If you don't work out, I suggests starting to as you can channel rage/frustration/pain/stress into lifting weights (it also makes you feel better about yourself when seeing results.)

 

There is no magic formula, there are some problems and situations that only time will heal but as stated before, you need to chat with everyone you can (friends, family, etc) to keep you from thinking of her. Thinking of her is pain right now, until it turns into a memory it will take a while.

 

Set goals, you need to say out loud (maybe into the mirror) that it's her loss. You have value as a person, you're unique and your individuality and the sum of your past experiences will be appreciated by someone in future. Everything's eternal until the day it's over.

 

 

Stay strong man, I don't know how or why you guys broke up, but from your speech it sounds final. You just tripped in life's journey and need to get back up. As an analogy, if you were walking down the street and you slipped/tripped and face planted the floor, surrounded by people, what would you do? Stay down or quickly get back up? That right, so get yourself together, summon all your emotional strength and subdue that dark stingy pain.

 

 

And make sure your next partner doesn't pay for any mistakes of this one. I'm not implying that you will, just that a lot of people unknowingly make it.

Thank you for all of this, it has given me a couple of ideas, maybe I will try and reconnect slightly more with my family soon. It's crazy to think that the best advice I've gotten so far has been from someone I don't even know on the internet. It really spoke to me, what you said about the milestone idea, and how it can be looked at as something to build off of, rather than wallow in. Staying distracted is, I think, the key to what I need to cope. The analogy worked though, and it's exactly what it felt like. I'll try and get back up, thank you for everything.

[Guest SUeB]

Time. That's honestly the only answer. It's okay to grieve. Just live it. Nothing else you can do, really. This kind of relationship is often more of an impact when it ends. Just take care of yourself. Find things to take up some of your time. Long walks, bike rides, favourite funny movies, early nights, go to the library and read new books, eat well and stay active.

[Guest BabyPeach]

My first Daddy didn't leave me for someone else, but he did leave me.  It was so, so, so devastating. Like everyone else has said, you will get through it.  Just take it day by day and take care of yourself and eventually it will get easier.

[Guest RoyG]

What you have to go through now sucks, as you have to restructure your life against your own will, losing on something that meant a lot to you. We're creatures of habit, and once we've established a pattern we like, we feel incredibly uncomfortable deviating from it. On the bright side, we can also adapt. Time will heal these wounds because every day, you'll crave it a little less than the day before. Moreover, you'll slowly find new, exciting ways to fill your time. Maybe it's another little, maybe it's something else entirely, either way you'll adapt to your new circumstances and make the most of that instead.

 

The first part is always the roughest. Find something else to occupy yourself, set new goals with your newfound time, and I'm sure you'll be back on your feet soon enough. Good luck, and keep taking care of yourself

[Fourth]

Time. That's honestly the only answer. It's okay to grieve. Just live it. Nothing else you can do, really. This kind of relationship is often more of an impact when it ends. Just take care of yourself. Find things to take up some of your time. Long walks, bike rides, favourite funny movies, early nights, go to the library and read new books, eat well and stay active.

I think so too, time will help. It's also been such a delight to get so much support from a community I just joined. Personally, the walking helps best for me. I've tried to walk down the other end of the beach and back where I live, and almost not even thought of her. Thank you.

[Fourth]

My first Daddy didn't leave me for someone else, but he did leave me.  It was so, so, so devastating. Like everyone else has said, you will get through it.  Just take it day by day and take care of yourself and eventually it will get easier.

Thanks, it's good to get a little's perspective too. Trying to live in the moment, and not think about the past or present is super tough, but I think I'm getting there.

[Fourth]

What you have to go through now sucks, as you have to restructure your life against your own will, losing on something that meant a lot to you. We're creatures of habit, and once we've established a pattern we like, we feel incredibly uncomfortable deviating from it. On the bright side, we can also adapt. Time will heal these wounds because every day, you'll crave it a little less than the day before. Moreover, you'll slowly find new, exciting ways to fill your time. Maybe it's another little, maybe it's something else entirely, either way you'll adapt to your new circumstances and make the most of that instead.

 

The first part is always the roughest. Find something else to occupy yourself, set new goals with your newfound time, and I'm sure you'll be back on your feet soon enough. Good luck, and keep taking care of yourself

Habit is the right word for sure. She was just integral to every action I took, and her leaving has felt like I was getting gutted. But yeah, I have gained a little bit of confidence over the last day that things are going to at least get a little better, eventually. Mostly because of the forum posts I've gotten in support. I'm not even sure if I'll ever find another little, but I will probably try. The funny thing is, I still have stuff from littleforbig arriving in the mail, that was meant to be for her. Idk what the hell I'm going to do with that. Thanks for the advice though, it means the world getting help from a stranger.

[Guest SUeB]

Why not find a local walking group? Master got me involved with His, and it's a brilliant hobby and social thing. i have made friends and added a whole new aspect to my health and fitness goals and achievements. Even if you don't do that, keep doing those walks on the beach. Go a little further every week/month. Make a goal for yourself. Focus on taking care of your physical health, which will greatly improve your mental health too.

And you're welcome.

[Guest ScorpioBeastWolf]

Why not find a local walking group? Master got me involved with His, and it's a brilliant hobby and social thing. i have made friends and added a whole new aspect to my health and fitness goals and achievements. Even if you don't do that, keep doing those walks on the beach. Go a little further every week/month. Make a goal for yourself. Focus on taking care of your physical health, which will greatly improve your mental health too.

And you're welcome.

 

The first foremost thing right now is to focus on yourself. Never can anyone be healthy in these times, it is hard time and i can feel you, but you need to know, you were doing good on your own before meeting her. If you get back to memories, think about those memories which made you smile and thank the other person. The more we thank and are grateful, our heart starts becoming love itself. At this moment or at any time, always care about self and make self the priority.

[Guest Kaiser]

Rediscover yourself.

 

 

And next time don't make the mistake of getting so wrapped up in someone that you feel "lost" if they leave.

[Big Daddy D]

Oops. I double posted some how. Edited May 12, 2018 by Big Daddy D

[Big Daddy D]

There's no cure for that other than time. Hearts heal and tears dry... Eventually. Just don't be afraid to let yourself fall in love again. I know what you're going through is horrible, and your going to feel that way for a long time. The mistake people make is being afraid to try again, because they might have to relive the experience. What you had didn't work, they weren't the right one. You might feel like I'm wrong and they were your soulmate, but if that was the case, she'd still be there. It may sound like I'm being harsh, but it's just the truth. She's out there, be patient and never settle. I found my little on POF, I was very open as to what sort of relationship I was looking for and didn't care how others judged me. FetLife wasn't my scene and I knew I wouldn't find my forever girl there. People were surprisingly very curious about me and wanted to talk and learn about the lifestyle. Since this is turning in to a story, I'll tell the most interesting part that I have yet to share on this site yet. My profile said that due to my unorthodox lifestyle I wouldn't message anyone first, because I didn't want to make anyone uncomfortable. Many reached out to me who were very curious, some more curious than interested in doing it, but I met some really sweet women. There was one profile I kept looking at, hoping she'd notice me and reach out. She just had a great profile and I wanted to meet her. So I broke down and broke my rule. I messaged her, she responded immediately and mentions she's no stranger to the lifestyle I want.

 

Of all the girls on POF, the one that I can't resist messaging first turns out to be an AB. Best part is we chatted for a couple of weeks, then casually dated for a month and the lifestyle never came up in conversation. We knew it was there, but we took the time to get to know each other and fall in love before we jumped in to our Daddy/Little roleplay.

 

I kinda strayed off topic, I guess my point is... I've been where you are. More than once. Now my life is amazing. I'm so unbelievably happy. You will be too. Maybe that person crosses your path tomorrow, maybe next month, next year or next decade, maybe they're even reading your previous post right now dying to reach out to you, but they feel like you do and they're afraid to try again.

 

Never stop trying to find your soulmate. I promise, she's out there.

Edited May 12, 2018 by Big Daddy D