How do I tell him?

April 21, 2018

Hi, sippy here: newbie. I created this account because I really REALLY need help with something.

So about a month ago, I was with my Daddy. We were together for one year until he began to abandon me and lie all the time. I felt like there was somebody else but every time he told me there wasn't. I didn't know what to believe. I ended up having to break up with him and I cried for days and still, I wished I could have him back. I tried to move on by finding someone else. I'll just give this guy a random name for security purposes: Mark. Mark was very nice and kind, he wanted to take things slow like I suggested. I've only been on three dates with him and today I feel like he is going to ask me out. The problem is, last night we were cuddling and I felt depressed because I got memories of my ex and how it felt to be with him and to be called baby girl and everything. Mark has no idea that I'm into DDLG. Today, he is taking me to his town and I know we will have a lot of alone time but I'm just scared in general. How do I tell him what I'm into? Will I scare him off? If I do, what do I do!?

I just really need help asap rn, I really hope he could be my Daddy. ): Please comment.

April 21, 2018

Oh what a problem you’ve set yourself. You are a little just out of a DDLG relationship. Of course you want to meet other people and you miss your lifestyle. Whoever you meet there’s no way of knowing if they are a daddy or want to be. Unless you specifically meet people on sites like this. In the vanilla world there will be lots of people like Mark you can date but who have no idea about this. Feel free to message me if you need to chat.

April 21, 2018

Regardless of whether or not you will scare him off, it's never worth being in a relationship in which you know you will never be fully satisfied. Those kind of relationships lose steam very quickly.

April 21, 2018

Well, from the information you provided, I don't think I can give you any solid advice. The only thing i can honestly tell you is this. If the DDlg aspect of your life is important to you and it's a part of who you are, you should definitely tell him.

As for his reaction, you should be the best judge of that. I mean, it's easy for me to just tell you to tell him or not to tell him. But i know that standing with a person face to face and having to tell them something that can change the way that person is looking at you is hard. Really hard.

But you should never hide something that is important to you from your parnter. I mean, in each of my posts I ramble about communication. That's because it's the cornerstone of everything.

Ok, to the questions.

How do you tell him? The answer is. Start slow. Build things up. Be objective about it. Don't be like "I love acting like a little girl, sucking a paci and taking naps" or something like that. Go from the start. Explain to him about the kink in general. Tell him how you discovered that you are into it. Explain to him CLEARLY what his role as a daddy should be and so on. The more information a person has, the more objective they can be.

People are scared and put off just by the things they don't really understand. So this is the single most important step you should take.

Will it scare him off? As I said. You really need to clearly explain to him everything. That is the key. Maybe you will discover that he will like it. If not, tell him to just try it. Take things slow. Introduce him into it. And in case it does scare him off after all that effort you put in explaining, you can at least have a peace that he just wasn't into it and that you did everything you could.

What do you do? I think the previous 2 paragraphs explained that. If not, ask for more detailed explanation

As for the break up feelings. Yes, DDlg is a kind of relationship where bond can get strong. I am not saying it can't be as strong in other kinds, just this tens to be like that. The best thing you can do is as you said, move on and have someone to lean on and talk to.

By the way. Welcome to the forum.

April 21, 2018

Thanks, I just don't know how to act and I really don't want to scare him off like that is my biggest fear. Thank you all for giving me some advice and info.

April 21, 2018

You are the only one who can answer the question "am I 1) just sad because of a loss about which I need more time,or am I 2) a little to the point that I can't have intimacy that is not DDlg related?"

There would be nothing wrong about any of these two situations. Mark is likely to understand 1,if you want to buy yourself some time; You are nervous and it's no good anyway. You are the only one who can feel if he can understand 2; It hasn't happened to me but I can well imagine myself telling someone "look,I am going to be blunt,..." In fact it might be a good way to start because he is going to think you are coming out as a lesbian or have some dangerous kink and will perhaps be relieved to hear what DDlg is !

April 21, 2018

I really don't want to scare him off like that is my biggest fear

Taking things slow is fine, as you don't need to immediately launch into telling people about how much you enjoy DDLG when you first meet them. But since it's bothering you so much at this point, I'd say it's time to bring it up, because otherwise he will just end up seeing you're distracted and not understanding what it is. People just like explanations for behaviour. No one wants to lose someone they care about, and I have no doubt that you do. Mark seems like a great guy, so to lose something good would feel terrible. But if I understand you correctly, it wouldn't satisfy you if you would have to suppress your little side forever. All you can do is share what you feel, and let him decide how he feels about it. Rather than just saying you're into DDLG, I would talk about exactly what you like yourself. If it's being called baby girl, or a particular way to spend your time together, then talk about how you like to do those things. People generally love hearing about those quirks they can easily imagine.

If he likes it - great! You can both have an amazing time. If he doesn't like it, that absolutely sucks, but it also opens the way for someone like Mark to come in your life who does appreciate this about you. For most of us, finding the perfect person is a long road paved with many disappointments, but so worth it once our search comes to an end. We can't decide when that is, but we can be firm in our commitment to continue down that road until we make it.

I hope your search ends with Mark. Good luck.

April 21, 2018

Thank you. I feel like I need time to myself but I've been sitting around for days and crying over my ex and my friends are parents are telling me to get up and move on. I feel like if Mark does allow this then it probably will make me feel a bit better I just don't want to go too fast like I have with my other relationships. I just really hope he does.

April 21, 2018

Thank you. I feel like I need time to myself but I've been sitting around for days and crying over my ex and my friends are parents are telling me to get up and move on. I feel like if Mark does allow this then it probably will make me feel a bit better I just don't want to go too fast like I have with my other relationships. I just really hope he does.

The speed at which you move in relationships is also just part of who you are. The correct speed to move in a relationship is your speed. But given that you wanted to start off slow, I don't think you're at risk of suddenly going too fast. Also keep in mind that just talking about your feelings isn't a bad thing. If you also allow him to share his opinion and respect it, all it leads to is you two understanding and appreciating each other better.

The same is true for you taking the time to get over your ex though. People kinda forget that different people love/care in different degrees sometimes, so because they can't see why you'd cry over that guy, they might just tell you to get up and move on. Sometimes it's good to just let it all out. Only when you start neglecting yourself and it starts getting in the way of your own life is when you really need to do something about it.

For what it's worth, I'll keep my fingers crossed with you that the thing with Mark works out

Edited April 21, 2018 by RoyG

April 21, 2018

I would offer this advice ... be true to yourself. then the BF. Don't change who you are as you will not be happy... if he cares about you he will listen with an open mind... then you will have to sift through the information and make a discision... good luck... John