I like a classmate but I have a bf

[Lala Blue]

So, I have been in a relationship with this boy for like, three years and I really feel ok with him, but I don't know, it's like I don't feel the same way. I appreciate him a lot, but more like a friend and I don't want to hurt him.
And here's the problem.

 

I met this guy in September, he's new in the institute, so it was the first time I saw him. At first everything just like "oh, he's really handsome" and that was all, but he sat behind me in class and we started talking. He's smart, and we have things in common and... you know when you feel it but you deny it? Yep, that's me right now.

 

Oh, and don't for get this classmate that has a crushv on him but she doesn't know him and it's weird and she gets mad when a girl that she doesn't know talk to him and ?????? 
 

I don't know what to do. I don't really feel in love with my boyfriend like before but I don't want to hurt him, and I like this guy but I think that he doesn't like me and I don't know if I am using this as an excuse or what.

I'm really confused right now.

[Child Of Light]

You need to communicate with your boyfriend. Your doing more harm right now, keeping the relationship going and having feelings for others. It shouldn't matter if the other dude wants to be with you or not. Even if he doesn't want to be with you -- if you are unhappy in your current relationship, it should be talked about and ended. Don't hold the BF around until you feel you know what you want to do. Let him free.

Edited April 13, 2018 by Child Of Light

[Poisoned Daydream]

ok really, one thing doesn’t have anything to do with the other.

 

You dont love your boyfriend?  well that sucks.  You dont want to break his heart?  no way around that, but it will hurt him worse that you are stringing him along.  tell him how you feel, break up with him and let him move on with his life.  dont be an ass.

 

Now the other boy.  You like him?  well after you take care of issue number 1, you can see if he likes you.  no guilt, no mess.  If he likes you, great!  fireworks and all that jazz.  If he doesn’t, well, those are the knocks…

 

[Panda God]

ok really, one thing doesn’t have anything to do with the other.

 

You dont love your boyfriend?  well that sucks.  You dont want to break his heart?  no way around that, but it will hurt him worse that you are stringing him along.  tell him how you feel, break up with him and let him move on with his life.  dont be an ass.

 

Now the other boy.  You like him?  well after you take care of issue number 1, you can see if he likes you.  no guilt, no mess.  If he likes you, great!  fireworks and all that jazz.  If he doesn’t, well, those are the knocks…

You could have worded this more politely and still gotten the same point across.. Plus, you pretty much said exactly what the first response did.

[Poisoned Daydream]

your probably right. 

 

Maybe it would have been simpler to say, Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

[Guest vegan freebird]

Absolutely agree with Poisoned Daydream.

 

Let your bf go Lala Blue. Whether your crush likes you or not.

 

If you're just holding onto your bf until you can replace him with someone you

really want, that is just disgraceful. Notice I said 'If'.

 

Whatever you feel or don't feel, it's clear you don't really want to be with your bf anymore.

So don't string him along any further. You wouldn't like it if someone did that to you.

 

Sorry if that sounds harsh.

Edited April 14, 2018 by vegan freebird

[Little Illy]

You could have worded this more politely and still gotten the same point across.. Plus, you pretty much said exactly what the first response did.

 

Sometimes sugar coating does damage. And in this case, it can have that negative affect.

 

At this point you are stringing your boyfriend along. You admitted you don't love him like you used to and your are openly crushing on another person.

 

Maybe it would have been simpler to say, Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

 

How would you like it if you still truly loved your boyfriend, but he was doing the exact same thing to you? 

 

The moment you started crushing on another guy is the moment you had your answer. You need to break it off with your boyfriend, and not even for your sake. For HIS. And then you are free to go. Otherwise you are really going to hurt him when all of this comes out (because, stuff like this ALWAYS does come to the surface). 

 

Honestly, just own up to your feelings and no one can fault you. Do as you would want a guy to do with you - respect.

 

"If you love two people at the same time, choose the second, because if you really would have loved the first one, you never would have fallen for the second."  - Depp

Edited April 14, 2018 by Little Illy