Problems with Daddy

[Guest Elfenkotze]

Hellu

 

So I dont really know, how to start this but I need help. (Im from Germany so sorry if my english isnt perfect )

 

Im in a relationship with my Daddy since 4 months. We met 6 months ago in a online game. He lives 800 km away from me but he went to me a day before New Years Evening and we are in a relationship since a day after New Years Evening. We have seen each other now every month since we are together.

 

I really love him and he loves me. He cancelled his Job to move to me and he will come to me in 18 days.

 

He told me, he likes petplay and I told him, Im into Dd/Lg. Im into it since Im 17 and Ive serched for a Daddy a long time. I met many creeps and fake Daddys. Those who are only interessted in beeing called Daddy during sex. 

 

I gave my all to my Daddy. He is my first love and my first lover, if you know what I mean.

 

 

So we are in a Dd/Lg relationship since a few weeks now and he is a great Daddy! He is very understanding, caring for me, gives me rules and punishments and always want me to be a happy girl but hes also strikt. I really love how he do his Job.

 

But I think he doesnt understand me or doesnt understands, what it means to be in a relationship with a little. He thinks, it is a rollplay. He might not understand, that I sometimes really feel little and sometimes not. For him it is like a game, I think. He is not like those fake Daddys. He does really care about me and my feelings. He will leave his family and friends to live with me and always be by my side.

 

Yeah, as I said, he loves me and I love him. But that he thinks the "Dd/lg-thing" is just a roleplay and Im just playing it cause it turns me on, when he is giving me rules and caring about me, makes me sad and a little bit angry. He likes it more sexual, me too but its in an other way than I do. As I said: like a roleplay.(But not just for sex!!!)

 

I dont know, how to talk to him about it. Should I wait and hope he sees it by himself? Should I tell him now by phone/skype/whatsapp, should I wait until hes here to talk to him face to face or should I just ignore it?

 

Thx for reading this, I hope, you can help me.

 

Much luv 

Elfenkotze <3

[Guest littleloveslars]

I think its really special that you met, and are going to merge your lives.

 

But I also think its really important that you explain that DDlg is not just a sexual role play game to you. Tell him it emotional fulfills you to be little, that youre still a grown woman, but that on the inside you feel more youthful. Try to explain what little space is, and how it makes you feel. And encourage him to find resources for other Daddy Doms! Good luck.

[Guest vegan freebird]

Hella Elfenkotze

 

You sound very nice. Your daddy sounds very nice.   

 

If you can't be with him to talk.. tell him on Skype or telephone.

 

It is very important that he understands how you feel. 

 

Sag ihm, wie du dich fühlst

 

wünsche dir Erfolg und Glück

 

 

 

 

I am sorry for my poor German language 

 

xox

Edited April 12, 2018 by vegan freebird

[Guest SUeB]

Ok, you need to open up to him as you just did to us. Tell him. If it's easier than actually saying it to him directly, show him this thread.

No, do NOT wait for him to figure it out for himself. That might never happen! There are two people in this relationship, and you both need the same consideration and yes.....compromise sometimes. You may not get every single thing you want, but nobody has the right to have everything. If you are both happy, content and committed to one another, that's a very big thing. It sounds like you have a good relationship. Don't be scared of being honest with him. That is rule number one in any kind of relationship!

[DaddyHudsonValleyNewYork]

Hellu

 

So I dont really know, how to start this but I need help. (Im from Germany so sorry if my english isnt perfect )

 

Im in a relationship with my Daddy since 4 months. We met 6 months ago in a online game. He lives 800 km away from me but he went to me a day before New Years Evening and we are in a relationship since a day after New Years Evening. We have seen each other now every month since we are together.

 

I really love him and he loves me. He cancelled his Job to move to me and he will come to me in 18 days.

 

He told me, he likes petplay and I told him, Im into Dd/Lg. Im into it since Im 17 and Ive serched for a Daddy a long time. I met many creeps and fake Daddys. Those who are only interessted in beeing called Daddy during sex. 

 

I gave my all to my Daddy. He is my first love and my first lover, if you know what I mean.

 

 

So we are in a Dd/Lg relationship since a few weeks now and he is a great Daddy! He is very understanding, caring for me, gives me rules and punishments and always want me to be a happy girl but hes also strikt. I really love how he do his Job.

 

But I think he doesnt understand me or doesnt understands, what it means to be in a relationship with a little. He thinks, it is a rollplay. He might not understand, that I sometimes really feel little and sometimes not. For him it is like a game, I think. He is not like those fake Daddys. He does really care about me and my feelings. He will leave his family and friends to live with me and always be by my side.

 

Yeah, as I said, he loves me and I love him. But that he thinks the "Dd/lg-thing" is just a roleplay and Im just playing it cause it turns me on, when he is giving me rules and caring about me, makes me sad and a little bit angry. He likes it more sexual, me too but its in an other way than I do. As I said: like a roleplay.(But not just for sex!!!)

 

I dont know, how to talk to him about it. Should I wait and hope he sees it by himself? Should I tell him now by phone/skype/whatsapp, should I wait until hes here to talk to him face to face or should I just ignore it?

 

Thx for reading this, I hope, you can help me.

 

Much luv 

Elfenkotze <3

Ideally I would talk to him in person if I were you.

 

Just tell him everything you said here. 

I'm sure it will be fine. You just need to tell him to "baby" you more frequently not just because he/you want to have sex.

[Little Illy]

Even though DDlg isn't a roleplay for you, it might be for him. Maybe that is why he is acting this way, maybe for him it IS a role he is simply playing.

 

OR

 

He may have no idea what DDlg is, how it can be a lifestyle, and so on.

 

I have something that you both could read and maybe help understand where each of you are at. It may be that for him a sexual roleplay is all DDlg is and that in the dynamic, you two aren't compatible. Or it could be that he is the opposite and doesn't know. Figuring these things are hard for anyone, but remember - you two could easily like and want two different things. He shouldn't and you shouldn't force the dynamic on one another because it isn't what is desired.

 

Here: https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/12897-ddlg-the-serious-end-of-things/ (SFW). Hopefully it helps.

[Aaziz832]

^^^^agreed! His feelings towards you are most likely real and doesn’t care for you! Now, the whole DDLG, he might not have a clue about and might just be a kink for him. There are tons of men who love to play Daddy but don’t know about the lifestyle! Talk it over with him and tell him what it is, google a few article on intro to DDLG! Communication is key to a successful relationship and true happiness! Don’t be afraid of speaking up about it, if he truly cares, he will be understanding about it and try to put an effort towards it! Good luck to you, I hope you get this figured out!

[Guest Alainnb]

Ich kann den anderen nur zustimmen...Wenn du einfach darauf vertraust, dass er das schon von alleine herausfinden wird, dann tust du dir damit vermutlich nichts gutes.....( omg, es ist so komisch hier auf deutsch zu schreiben )

 

Du würdest immer daran denken, dass er das alles anders sieht und da du nichts sagst, wird er denken dass alles ok so ist wie es ist.

 

Rede mit ihm, sag ihm, dass es für dich mehr dich, beschreibe wie du dich fühlst wenn du dich Little fühlst aber geh auch sicher, dass er das ganze nicht missversteht Er klingt wie ein toller Daddy, der dir auch ganz bestimmt zuhören wird wenn du sagst, dass du mal was loswerden musst und ich bin mir sicher, dass er es verstehen wird wenn du dir überlegst, was genau du sagen möchtest~

 

Hand auf‘s Herz, Kopf hoch und viel Glück!

 

Du schaffst das! <3

[Guest Elfenkotze]

I just wanted to say thank you all very much!

You helped me a lot!

I talked to him and told him, that I sometimes really feel little and he understood me. But he doesnt know how to manage that.

How does your Daddys do that? Are they always in that "Daddy-modus" or do they swich between being a Daddy and being a boyfriend or something like this?

I mean, Im not always in little space too. Does a Daddy have a Daddy space too?

I had read a lot about ddlg but no one could ever answer me this question. Maby its a dumb question Hand now you all think, Im very dumb...

 

I hope you can help me again.

 

Much luv <3

[Little Illy]

I just wanted to say thank you all very much!

You helped me a lot!

I talked to him and told him, that I sometimes really feel little and he understood me. But he doesnt know how to manage that.

How does your Daddys do that? Are they always in that "Daddy-modus" or do they swich between being a Daddy and being a boyfriend or something like this?

I mean, Im not always in little space too. Does a Daddy have a Daddy space too?

I had read a lot about ddlg but no one could ever answer me this question. Maby its a dumb question Hand now you all think, Im very dumb...

 

I hope you can help me again.

 

Much luv <3

 

No one hates you and you are NOT dumb! You are trying to not only educate yourself, but properly educate your partner and your relationship. Most people don't even try to understand things themselves. You are ahead

 

Anyways - Daddies definitely do have Daddy Space. But like us, even if they are out of Daddy Space, certain Daddy aspects can still be present. Just like even when you aren't in Little Space, there are some things you just do naturally. However, this whole identity is always based on the person. So maybe for one Daddy there is a Daddy Space, but maybe for another Daddy, he doesn't have a Daddy Space, but he is always on Daddy Alert (if that makes sense).

 

For your partner to try to manage this, he needs to learn more and more about the dynamic and himself. Maybe have him hop on the forum and read through Caregiver Cafe. This forum has TONS of resources and information to help people learn about the dynamic and themselves. Use it as a tool so he can start understanding it all better. Once things are understood, then he can get a better idea of what he needs. And once that is established, you two can sit down and discuss how to go from there.

 

Keep up the excellent work. Your Daddy/Boyfriend is lucky to have you, a lot of littles aren't patient enough to explain the dynamic.

Edited April 13, 2018 by Little Illy

[Child Of Light]

He seems so supportive. I am sure if you fully explained it to him in full -- he'd be willing to try.

[Guest SUeB]

He is the same Man all the time. Sometimes He knows i need the Daddy stuff particularly, but He's already that way most of the time anyway. i asked Him about Daddy Space a while ago, and He said no, He just is who He is. Sometimes more gentle and sometimes more strict and/or dominant. It's all different parts of the same person. Just as i am sometimes more needy and clingy, sometimes more deeply submissive, and sometimes more sarcastic and silly, for example. But they are not different "spaces".

[Guest RoyG]

How does your Daddys do that? Are they always in that "Daddy-modus" or do they swich between being a Daddy and being a boyfriend or something like this?

I mean, Im not always in little space too. Does a Daddy have a Daddy space too?

I had read a lot about ddlg but no one could ever answer me this question.

 

This experience is entirely individual, which is why there isn't a single answer to your question. Just as some littles have a specific littlespace they enter and leave, while others have more of a personality that fits the characteristics commonly associated with younger people. That's why truly making a relationship work in this realm is so hard. It's relatively easy to find someone into DDLG these days, but to find someone you're truly compatible with and who sees things exactly the way you do is almost impossible. Some compromise is fine, but what you're describing seems so fundamental that I'd work this out thoroughly as quickly as possible.

 

It's painful, because I don't question for a moment that he truly loves you if he's committed to picking up his life and moving to be with you. That's the kind of dedication we'd all love in a partner we're into. But the fact someone is willing to do this doesn't mean you owe him to be with him forever if this relationship isn't making you happy. That's why the kindest thing to do is to figure this out as soon as possible, so that he doesn't invest more than he needs to into something that would not work out in the long term. No one gains anything if you both end up miserable, only staying together out of politeness to the other.

 

Viel Glück!