Littles with "Daddy Issues"

[Lola Step]

I've been apart of this lifestyle for about 3 years, although even before I discovered I was a little I would vehemently defend DDLG against people who would try to pass it off as simply "Daddy Issues". That is until about a year ago when out of the blue I realized - *I* had daddy issues! I'd never made the connection before between the DDLG stereotype and the issues I had with my father, but put simply- at best we have a love hate relationship, at worst he is emotionally and verbally abusive, manipulative, passive agressive, controlling, the list goes on. One time I accidentally dipped a sugar packet into a cup of coffee and a 10 minute tirade ensued about how I couldn't do anything right.....anyway I was just wondering if there were any littles out there who really DO have "Daddy issues"? :/

[Guest Little Otter]

Eh, being thw introspective person I am my little side made sense. My biomom was cold, distant, harsh, I was a burden on her from birth basically. I didnt get much love at all. So now I see the connection between what I missed and what I need in a MD. We're all built by our experiences, whether youre vanilla or ddlg or whatever. Its whatevs.

[Panda God]

I didn't really have a dad for most of my childhood. I only saw my biological dad a couple times a year (if that), and when my step dad came into the picture, we fought constantly. So, yeah, I'd say I have daddy issues too.

[DollDirector]

Daddies and mummies also have issues (of maturity,or whatever). I think the dynamic is very helpful because people here tend to be more introspective than many. DDlg acceptance and healing,yay !

[Guest SUeB]

Nope. i had a good relationship with my father.

[Guest Pumpkin_8]

oh welp my dad died when I was one. Sooooo I don't remember him much

[Guest littlegirl707]

Oh goodness this is a crazy topic for me. My dad was a honery biker im not going to name the club. But back in the 70s they could do whatever they wanted with any female. This is why i have always gone to littlespace. I was taught to. He was abusive in everyway. Today i have no parents. Witch is fine with me they were so abusive in all ways that I was glad to be rid of them. I left home at 12 to 14 . wwhat that means i would run away for months at a time. I difintly have daddy issues. Today tho Im grateful for who I am and happy that I am little. 

[Guest curiousmiddle]

I love my dad. We have a great relationship. But my girlfriend's (also a little) has been absent from her life since she was 12. She hasn't had a proper father figure since. I can see how having daddy issues can play a part in someone's ddlg lifestyle. 

[Guest JesterDaddy]

Here's a twist... I'm a daddy, but my father was cold and very unemotional so although he was not abusive, I have no had a relationship with him for 30 years.

 

Growing into adulthood I swore I would be different and I think all my daddy-tendencies come from an over exaggerated need to display affection and generate a close nurturing bond.

[Guest BabyPeach]

. Edited April 10, 2018 by BabyPeach

[curlyheadspace]

Here's a twist... I'm a daddy, but my father was cold and very unemotional so although he was not abusive, I have no had a relationship with him for 30 years.

Growing into adulthood I swore I would be different and I think all my daddy-tendencies come from an over exaggerated need to display affection and generate a close nurturing bond.

My Daddy had the same situation! And that's how he explains the way he is.

[curlyheadspace]

When it comes to me, I've known for many years now that I have daddy issues. Since I was 12 or maybe younger.

My biological father hasn't cared for me meybe even since I was born. He is very manipulative and that is why my brother ended up in prison. He only wanted to use me as a weapon against my mother. But my older brother didn't seem to notice that. I did and that's why I completely crossed this man out of my life. We've seen each other maybe 2-3 times since I was 6 and that's all. He's also an alcoholic. So I haven't really had a real father. But there was a father-figure in my life. My step-father, who was calling me "stupid bitch", "little whore" and so on for 7 years of my childhood. He also was abusive. Generally my situation in home wasn't good. I've seen my mom trying to commit suicide a few times because of him.

Yeah, I think that childhood plays huge role in adult life. I only feel safe when I regress and Daddy is here to treat me like a real child, not worthless bastard. So guess I have the need to start over by being raised again. And it's healing for me.

[Guest BabyPeach]

. Edited April 11, 2018 by BabyPeach

[Angel24]

While my father was mildly distant while I was growing up, and by mildly I mean very mildly such as him not being the best at expressing his emotions, I don't believe that has to do with why I wanted to be a little or has given me daddy issues. Especially in the past few years, my father has tried a lot harder to be a good dad for my sisters and I and to be more of an emotional support for us. He still can be angered easily, but that's something passed down by his father and I'll be honest that my sisters and I (although me less so, haha) have inherited too. I love my dad, heck I'm his favourite child and "the boy" of the family, so I'm pretty sure there are no daddy issues here I'm just a girl who isn't the best at functioning on her own (NOT saying I can't be independent) so I need/enjoy someone taking care of me

[neko]

I've never really had daddy issues honestly. My biological father was absent from my whole childhood but it never really bothered me. Honestly I'm not even sure what "daddy issues" would entail? Edited April 11, 2018 by neko

[acebabygirl]

I do and I've felt like a stereotype because of it. I've come to accept it though. If this is what I need to do to deal with the pain my bio dad left me with then this is what i'll do gosh darn it. 

[CinderKittens]

My blood father has been abusive since I was out of the womb, I would be beat almost everyday, I would be called names, I would make one mistake and I would be punished for it. My blood father has even tried to drop me off at random locations and not tell me how to get home, needless to say, he was the most garbage human you could think of.

 

This is why I call my boyfriend Dad, it feels like I finally have someone I can call Dad without having to flinch every time he raises his voice. 

I definitely have "Daddy issues" but they are getting better each day that my support loving boyfriend helps me, every since we got together 3 years ago I've been getting better and better. I've learnt how to communicate when I have a negative feeling (where as where I used to just shut down and not be able to talk.)

 

These stereotypes or insults that people have thrown at me don't bother me, without my REAL Dad (my boyfriend) I would more than likely be dead. DDLG saved my life. 

[Guest pastel_ghost]

Mostly, I have a good relationship with my biological father. So I don't think I have 'daddy issues' per se. I actually pen my little side down to wanting to 'reclaim' my childhood. I had a wonderful childhood, but I suffered a lot from my teens onwards (due to serious mental issues) - I think maybe psychologically I want to go back to when I was happier, but this is only speculation. 

[Guest littleloveslars]

Check out narcissistic personality disorder. It is proven that children of parents that are distant, harsh, abusive, and not empathetic, are more likely to need "re-parenting" in their adult years. "Re-parenting" can be accomplished on your own, but the implementation and structure given in a BDSM relationship can help keep victims of narcissistic abuse on the straight and narrow. I struggle with the after effects of childhood trauma due to a lack of bonding with my parents. I dont connect those feelings with my sexual proclivities, but I strongly believe that this lifestyle encourages more self care and self love than I would give myself otherwise.

[princessfreckles]

I do, my father was involved in my life. He and my mom are still married, however he made huge mistakes. My mom suffered from undiagnosed depression and took out the anger she had on me. My father didn't defend me, instead he left me alone with her to physically abuse me. Later when I was a teenager my mom did the same thing and left me along with me dad when he gave me a black eye. Neither were or still are very affectionate at all, and rarely say I love you. I hear it from my father and mom maybe twice a year. I get a hug maybe once every 4-5 months. 

 

I definitely think part of the reason that I'm a little is because I want that love and affection that I never got/still don't get from my parents. Deep down I know I'm desperate to feel wanted, needed, encouraged and accepted for being good enough just the way I am. Things that I rarely feel. I've never had a serious boyfriend, so as I search for a Daddy, I want not just a caregiver but a boyfriend.

 

Also, I think my issues explain why traditional Doms don't turn me on, but scare me. A Daddy has the ability to be gentle, playful, sweet, and kind unlike (in my mind) the harsh Dom counterpart. Are all Doms horrible? No. do their subs consent to everything that occurs? Absolutely. However I can't help but put myself in the mindset of a scared kid who is afraid to speak or even breathe for fear of retribution in the form of physical and emotional abuse.

 

Now I'm left with the question of will I ever find a Daddy/boyfriend willing to put up with my family issues/baggage. 

 

TL:DR, no you're not the only one who has Daddy issues.

[Petitchat]

It seems that you and I have the same father OP. My alcoholic and verbally abusive (sometimes physically) mainly absent father probably led me to be needier with men and towards this lifestyle, though I have a great mother and if I didn't have a Daddy I'd want a Mommy all the same. I've come to understand that it's not that I'm craving a father figure specifically, but an authority figure who respects and loves me and won't think of me as a burden. I'm perfectly aware that  have daddy issues and I exorcized a lot of demons with my boyfriend, mainly being called names (I'm not A slut but HIS slut), or consensual light choking for NSFW example. That said I used to go to men who were cold and distant (and liars) and was unhappy, and now I'm dating the perfect opposite of my father and I'm feeling so free and I have let go of a lot of my latent anger. The more time passes and the more I'm reclaiming my inner scared child, and the more I'm myself within this lifestyle with no thoughts of my past .

 

My opinion is that parental issues can heavily influence our choice in embracing this lifestyle, but it's not a fundamental definition of ourselves. There's nothing wrong in using DDLG to overcome a difficult childhood, as there's nothing wrong with wanting it without such reason. I could probably explain better in my native language but, well... I think that it's only one factor for most of us, but it's still there. Our lives are influenced by the past constantly, and that's true for everything, not just DDLG, but even in vanilla relationships or friendships, important or insignificant decisions etc. We are the results or our pasts, wether happy or not. People often say that we tend to replicate the family set-up, or go the opposite. So for people to reduce the DDLG to just "daddy issues" is pretty ignorant and frankly ridiculous.

 

So embrace your issues, and overcome them however is best for you with no fear of being judged, at least by us

[princessbrittykitty]

At the risk of sounding like a horrible gross stereotype.... my bio father was mainly absent from my life except for a few very frightening memories of him. My mother was with my step father for almost 20 years. I'm fully aware that I regress to mentally cop with the fact that my step father sexually assaulted me almost every day for 13 years. I go back to the age I felt safe and I look up to my Daddy as the only man in my life that has taken care of me, that has loved me and not hurt or abused me. I'm kind of rambling sorry 

[Guest Looby-Lou]

I was lucky enough to grow up with a warm & caring Dad who was greatly involved in my life. He woke me up, made breakfast, took me to school, had made my packed lunch, played with me when he got home from work, helped with homework etc., played with me at weekends.  I would say he was my primary caregiver.

So if I have any "Daddy issues" it's because my Dad is amazing and I have always looked to find those nurturing qualities in my partner. I suppose I want to recreate that loving relationship where I felt safe, loved, had fun and was disciplined when necessary.

I don't know if that can be called Daddy issues? Or maybe the term only applies to people with negative father issues?

The person I did have a tricky relationship with is my mum.  There was a lot of love there, but we clashed a lot too and I never felt properly mothered the way I needed it.  

I do believe that's another reason why I crave the love & attention from my partner, and want it in a semi "parental" way where I can be child like.

 

[That_Girl_In_The_Tower]

I deeefinitely have my fair share or Daddy *and* Mommy issues, tho mostly Daddy. I think it mostly comes from the complete lack of emotional and mental support I received since basically I was 13. They didn't know how to handle depression and *definitely* didn't know how to handle me being trans. My dad almost flat out rejected it, I think. It's hard to tll seeing as how when I told him, all he did was put his head in his hands and after a few minutes walk away. That was years ago now, and he's only just started calling me my real name, and he still votes for people that say all trans people are just pervert rapists, we're mentally ill, etc. I was left to wallow in depression for *years*, knowing the solution was transitioning but not being allowed to. Then there's the fact he was never really around much, and never made much of an attempt to connect with me on my level. so yea. definitely my fair share of daddy issues. 

[Guest blue_y]

I'm a caregiver, but still my Mother was emotionally distant when I was a child. She was overworked with her career, so I always felt that she didn't have much time for me growing up. This was pretty much confirmed to me when my Mother recently said that she found it difficult to connect with me when I was younger. However, in later years (probably since my teen years) our relationship has improved a lot. 

 

So while I wouldn't say I have 'Mommy issues', perhaps my caring side as a Mommy is a sort of response to this. I want to be there for people (whether they are littles or not) because I didn't really have that from my parents growing up. I wouldn't want to pen down the Mommy side of me completely to my relationship with my own Mother though.