Online (and Offline) Safety

[Guest BabyPeach]

I learned the hard way that there are people out there who are just total jerks and some are obsessive and crazy. Here are a few examples:

 

I had one ex threaten to dox me (put my personal info and private sexy pictures that I had sent to him on a website and make it look like I was inviting random men to my HOUSE....yep, home address).  Fortunately, he never did it but that can, and does, happen to people for various reasons.

 

Another local ex became a stalker to such an extent that he literally created a fake FB account of the "perfect" man for me and friended me (he had even friended mutual friends otherwise I wouldn't have accepted his friend request) and eventually we started texting (I was still naive on the giving my phone number out thing) for around 3 months. He had bought a burner phone with a new number so I wouldn't recognize his actual number.  When I pressed to meet the fictional man (he had catfished with some random guy's pictures), he finally told me who it really was.  Omg, you can't imagine the horror. I completely understand what it's like for those people on the show Catfish.  It's ugly and horrible. Fortunately, he was threatened with the police enough to eventually go away.

 

 

An online Daddy interest literally started tracking me online when I declined to continue talking to him (after only ONE week).  He found my Instagram (I don't know how because he had none of my personal info) and when I blocked his Insta account, he started making fake accounts to try to follow me.  I had to put my account on private.

 

........all of these actually happened to me by men who just DID NOT WANT TO LET ME GO.  Maybe I attract crazies, idk.  I'm definitely careful now.

 

Some safety tips: You need to be very careful who you arrange to meet.  Always do it safely, in public, and don't give out any information like your last name, address, etc.  Meet them at the location (they don't need your home address until you know they are completely safe). Always make sure someone else knows exactly where you are going and at what time, etc. You can also arrange a check-in text with a friend at a specific time to let them know you're okay (don't do this if you will forget or your friend will get worried). 

 

Keep in mind that a stalker and/or crazy person can get information about you from your cell number so also give that out with extreme caution. I have learned that extreme caution is necessary because I have dealt with several stalkers (one online and one offline) and a few crazies. There are "burner phones", which are cheap cell phones that people buy and because it does't link to their name, address or any other real personal info, (both crazies and non-crazies do this for different reasons) it keeps them completely anonymous.  There are also ways to get generic phone numbers to text from your actual phone so your real number doesn't show up (I've know someone to do this and it hides them from you, but if you text from your real number you are not hidden from them).  Kik is good because it doesn't reveal any personal information of either person. 

 

I hope this helps everyone.  I was very naive and learned all of this the hard way.  The world isn't always a safe place, but keep in mind most people do err on the side of good. A little paranoia can be a good thing......a lot, not so much. Most of this was posted as a response, but I thought creating an actual post would be helpful for everyone.  If you have any tips (or learning experiences), etc. feel free to leave them in the comments. 

Edited April 7, 2018 by BabyPeach

[Dan]

Very well said, although it sucks that you've had to deal with that. With kik as well it will ask for your first and last name, be aware that people you talk to will be able to see this, not just your username, so just make something up!

[Guest BabyPeach]

Very well said, although it sucks that you've had to deal with that. With kik as well it will ask for your first and last name, be aware that people you talk to will be able to see this, not just your username, so just make something up!

 

Yes! Never use your real name anywhere socially online.  And thanks. It was all awful, but I definitely learned that being naive and expecting all people to be all roses and rainbows, like I generally am, isn't real life.

Edited April 7, 2018 by BabyPeach

[XmochiX]

I've had people on Kik threaten to gangrape me, and deleted it for a while.

[Guest BabyPeach]

I've had people on Kik threaten to gangrape me, and deleted it for a while.

 

I'm so sorry that happened to you.

[Guest You're adorable.]

Yes, I 173% agree with all that is being said. Some people tend to be really loose with this. Giving away their phone numbers, names and whatnot. You have to understand that any piece of information about the "real" you can be connected to other pieces of information if you know when and how to look. 

 

Always be careful and don't give away your personal info.

[Guest SUeB]

This is one reason i can't believe that people post personal details on forums etc. Are people really that naive? There have been discussions on here, and others, where its someone suggesting secret santa, or old toy adoption for example. So you basically all send your actual home address to some online random. Seriously? Ok, you know what, for the most part, i am almost positive that these kinds of things are done with innocence and good intentions. But i genuinely can't believe that people so willingly give out real names and addresses.

[Guest BabyPeach]

This is one reason i can't believe that people post personal details on forums etc. Are people really that naive? There have been discussions on here, and others, where its someone suggesting secret santa, or old toy adoption for example. So you basically all send your actual home address to some online random. Seriously? Ok, you know what, for the most part, i am almost positive that these kinds of things are done with innocence and good intentions. But i genuinely can't believe that people so willingly give out real names and addresses.

 

Yes, some people really are that naive. I was never quite that naive (probably because when I was around 19 years old, I had a much older mentor who taught me some things), but I have been too trusting. I hope this post will help some of the people here understand that people can be awful, unpredictable and scary. Fortunately, I have never encountered any truly evil people or I probably wouldn't be here to write this post.

[Guest SUeB]

Oh, i have met some real morons. Reaaaal little freaks. Been lucky to have the sense to get rid of them as soon as the crazy fog lifted, and i realised the truth of the situation, before any really bad damage was done. And yes, they all seemed lovely at first. Said all the right words, played the part very well. i am not an idiot, but these guys (and girls too let's make it clear from both sides) know exactly what they are doing, and are very clever at what they do. Especially online, it's incredibly easy to play a part.

[baby_k]

It is really easy to find information about people:

* pictures may give location and a LOT of other info, also name!

* you may tell that you participate in event x and list of participants is in Facebook or elsewhere, someone tags you in picture there and one connects the dots becauseof your name/looks/specific phone you have...

* you went to school at y, and again, with your first name one just needs to see who graduated or who are alumni

* your pic can be tracked back to other services with search engine

* you visit their webpage: your browsing stuff reveals tons of stuff about you to the webpage host

* even forwarded email can tell alot even you think it is "cleaned" visually from personal data....

* ...

 

List is endless.

 

So, one should be really careful with ANY kind of data that can be linked to them or is from them. Many things may seem perfectly innocent but in wrong hands there is a huge mess.

 

I have noticed many times that people get offended if I don't like to share pictures or personal informaton (like even first name) but imo that is just red flag and something may be wrong. Better be safe than sorry.

 

 

 

Getting off topic but:

 

Same goes with any intimate pics: at least leave your face out of those. Even if the person you sent them does not do anything bad, material may leak other ways.

I also recomend anyone to see this wepage:

https://www.europol.europa.eu/activities-services/public-awareness-and-prevention-guides/online-sexual-coercion-and-extortion-crime

 

Edit: visuals, adding empty lines to make this more readable.....

Edited April 10, 2018 by baby_k