Opinions Please!!

[daddyswitch]

So, my daddy acts quite literally as a parent to me. I know that’s what’s supposed to happen and I absolutely love it, but he calls me “kid” which could get some getting used to. And, it’s a nonsexual situation, but he does this because he actually can’t have kids. He’s infertile. So, it’s almost like a legit parent type thing. I don’t see anything wrong with it since we aren’t sexual during daddy/little space. Can you guys give me some opinions?

[Rebel]

It doesn't matter our opinions because it all comes down to what you two want. If you don't like something, sit down and talk to him about it, and same for him.

[Guest McLeodLot65]

It sounds like you are both getting what you want out of the relationship, and nobody's getting hurt. There are lots of nonsexual DDlg couples out there - the adorable Angel24 and me, for example - and those couples are working out great.

 

So I guess my opinion is: enjoy it!

[Guest SUeB]

Is that what's supposed to happen? Turns out Daddy/Master and His girl have been doing it wrong then, lol. And sorry, if he's using you as a replacement child, then yes, that's a bit worrying.

[Petitchat]

Since you asked for honest opinions and not reassurances/advice, I'll allow myself. Be aware that what I'll say may not please you and even hurt you and I apologize it that's the case. I have a bit of trouble to put my thoughts clearly and in order for this specific question because it made me feel a lot of things. So obviously you do you, and if that makes you happy and that works for the both of you then great. But I don't personally it's a good thing. It doesn't chnge anything for me that you are not sexual when you're in little space, because he then doesn't treat you as his little but as his child. And then you have sex when you are in adult space? But you are the same person, even if you feel different, you are still the same person, and to me it blurs lines. I probably would be less bothered if you had a strictly platonic and non-romantic relationship (but then again, you're actually legally an adult, so you still wouldn't be his child...) because from the short message you wrote all I can think is unhealthy incestuous feelings.... He can have fatherly behaviour but considering you as his actual child... You won't ever be a susbitute for a real child (biological or adopted), this is not the same relationship and not the same dynamics, and I fear that this only hurts you when you both realize it... And if he actually is able to consider you like his child and still date you, then that's far worse.

 

Leaving sex completely aside now; regarding you couple dynamics, the problem I see is that you need to find your place as his romantic and/or sexual partner. The most important thing in our dynamic is consent. Yes the littles often leave up to their daddies/mommies to take decisions for them, to guide and nurture them, but it's a conscious choice that they make. In a parents/children relationship there is not this dimension of consent. The responsibilities and "obedience" don't come from the same base. Yes it's love, but not romantic love. You are an adult who makes conscious choice in his/her/their life, you are a not a minor who depends on an adult to survive. Trying to mix a real romantic relationship with this can only lead to disaster IMO because you can't separate that much your little space from your adult space. Your feelings are different but you're still one body with one mind.

 

I think you both need to discuss this and figure out if he's just expressing a nurturing side through DDLG that he couldn't before because he couldn't have children, or if he's genuinely making a transferance and seeing/using you as a substitute.

 

I'm not sure If I was very clear, this was a complicated answer and english is not my mother tongue so it was a bit all over the place. The best of luck to you both  

[Angel24]

Like my Daddy said before, if you're both happy with it, then carry on just as you are:) You shouldn't have to listen to people saying you shouldn't be happy and comfortable with someone you care deeply about, no matter what the details of the relationship:) Nothing wrong with having a close friend as a caregiver! I wouldn't have the amazing Daddy that I do if I listened to people thinking we are weird XD Just be you and have fun.

Edited April 5, 2018 by Angel24

[Guest SUeB]

The details of the relationship actually CAN matter, if its outside of what is decent and morally right. This girl is sure the moors murderers were happy killing kids back in the seventies. Doesn't make it ok. And yes, obviously that's an insanely extreme example, but the principle remains.

[Guest McLeodLot65]

Well, yes, the details of a *house* might matter, if the house is currently on fire, but most houses are *not* currently on fire. All I saw in the original post is a slightly different set of terms than I usually use, but still well within what I would count as SSC.

[Angel24]

I'm pretty sure many people consider DDlg indecent and morally wrong, yet here we all are. What is decent and morally right is defined differently by each person. And how can a non-sexual relationship between two close people be wrong? Is having a father or even grand father figure in your life that you spend time with and keep company because you care about them like you would a close friend wrong? My Daddy and I are non sexual, before he even became my Daddy I saw him as like a second father to me because he was my close friend and I'm sure there are millions of relationships out there like that. No one is getting hurt, no laws are being broken and they're happy. No need of spreading seeds of doubt into a already happy relationship.

[Guest SUeB]

So did you miss the part about him treating her like a child because he can't have his own? Does that sound perfectly okay to you? Because it doesn't sound okay to this girl.

[Angel24]

How is that different than adopting if you can't have kids? Is that okay? I honestly do not see a problem with any of it. Maybe it's a coping strategy, if it makes them happy, what's the difference?

[Guest BabyPeach]

The details of the relationship actually CAN matter, if its outside of what is decent and morally right. This girl is sure the moors murderers were happy killing kids back in the seventies. Doesn't make it ok. And yes, obviously that's an insanely extreme example, but the principle remains.

 

There is nothing indecent if it's between two mutually consenting adults ONLY.  Who are we to say what people can, and can't, do in the privacy of their own adult relationship? We aren't the morality police here.  Comparing this relationship to people who committed MURDERS is just ludicrous.

[Guest BabyPeach]

I'm pretty sure many people consider DDlg indecent and morally wrong, yet here we all are. What is decent and morally right is defined differently by each person. 

 

The general public, and age regressors, would definitely agree that it is morally wrong and indecent. Of course I don't agree with that. As long as it's between consenting adults, I don't care what they do. 

[Guest SUeB]

That's why the point was made that it was a hugely over the top example. It's the principle of things not being ok just because it makes someone happy. Obviously this girl isn't so stupid as to try compare the two things, lol.

And it's not necessarily a case of indecency. The opinion here is that this is NOT adoption or fostering, it's a grown man, in a relationship (sexual or not) with a grown woman, and using her as a child replacement. There is no apology for finding that very creepy, to put it mildly.

[Guest McLeodLot65]

To an outsider to our various communities, any number of our interactions would seem problematic. That's why informed consent between adults is so crucial, is the bedrock. And that's exactly what I see in the original post.

[Guest BabyPeach]

I see nothing wrong with it as long as they're both happy with the situation. This relationship might be exactly what they both need.  It's about loving, guiding and caring.  Where we find that is up to us.

[Guest Daffodil]

As long as they are both able to have adult to adult conversations about their relationship, and are both happy, whats the issue? If he forced her to be a little ALL the time to fill that whole in his heart, then okay yeah maybe a little weird. 

You're allowed to be infertile and have a little and it not be weird. 

But it's their relationship. You do what suits you both. If they're happy, and both get what they want, then i'd say go for it.

DDlg is pretty blurred lines anyway..... i mean i'm 22 and i love a bedtime story and being held like i'm about 4 years old. To some this would be creepy and weird.

But we're all spooky and strange in our own way! 

[Guest Arc]

She asked for opinions and she's getting them, so no need to get defensive over what others think. We're all entitled to our opinion, and we've been asked to share them so people are allowed to share them no matter what they are. Please don't get grumpy over mine too...

 

It does come across as creepy to use someone as a replacement child. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with it so long as they are both happy and consenting, but it does come across that way. 

 

However... our opinions shouldn't matter. If OP is happy then what we say shouldn't change anything for them. You do you. 

[TC95]

In my opinion, your relationship sounds brilliant. And it sounds brilliant because you both appear to be getting what you want put of it. Provided everybody involved is happy with what is going on and feels comfortable talking about, that, to me, makes a brilliant relationship. 

 

Keep enjoying each other! And good job on finding someone special.