Struggles of finding a caregiver: are there daddies who're NOT sexually thirsty?

[Potaeto]

I just wanna get this out of my mind.

 

All of the "daddies" I have encountered are the same. All of them wanted "something" and its really annoying me.

 

I know that not all daddies are like that but it really made me feel like I'm just a thing.

 

When I was new here, I always accept the friend request because I wanted more friends and have more knowledge about the forum. At first it was nice, but then they'll ask if I have or had a daddy and if I said no they start to call me pet names or they'll ask for my Kik. And after talking or doing something for them, its either they'll find someone else or they will never talk to you again.

 

And because of that I'm afraid of even finding myself a daddy even though I want to find myself one.

 

 

 

That's my opinion about the "Daddies" I have talked to. If you have something to say about this or something against with my opinion, I'm willing to read it because I also want to see the other perspective of other littles who're struggling to find a caregiver.

[Guest Loyal_Daddy21]

I'm a caregiver, and I've been into ddlg for about 8 months now, and based on what I've heard from other littles, your pretty much correct. A lot of daddies just say that they are a daddy because they enjoy being in control, being pleased, and/or being called it during sex, but don't enjoy the aftercare or are interested in helping a little be little. I personally want to get to know someone a decent amount before jumping into that, so I never ask or talk about much that's sexual for the first few conversations.

[Potaeto]

Thank you for your response about this. At least I know that other littles had experienced meeting fake daddies.

[Guest gobacktosleep]

I think you're working under a misconception about what is real and fake. 

 

Much like littles can be sexual and non sexual, so can caregivers. Labelling someone as fake just because they don't meet your definition is unhelpful at best. You have to realise that sex and ddlg for some is heavily intertwined, and that this on it's own isn't fake or bad. 

 

What is bad is lack of respect, but this works both ways. Personally I am a sexually interested daddy, and along with the care and support aspect, the sexual side plays a big part for me. However, i don't become expressly sexual with someone until it has been brought up by the person i'm talking with. 

 

That isn't to say that i don't mention sex at all, there has to be some discussion on this to ensure that the people involved aren't working on misapprehensions about what the other person is about. So it's sensible to at least find you are compatible with who you are chatting with. Would you rather talk to someone and build up a bond, but because you hadn't discussed sex, when feelings became deeper you find out that you have completely different aspirations, or to just lay it on the table soon so no one is wasting their time and emotional energy?

 

On the subject of petnames i agree with you totally though, there is an aspect of consent there that is missed by a portion of daddies, and that is indicative of something far more insidious than a CG being interested in the sexual side. 

[Guest Hys]

Yeah this is common, like the above have stated. When it comes down to it you're more likely to find a Daddy in your day to day life by spotting dominant behaviors or personality traits in the people you take an interest in, and slowly see if they're into that kind of thing. A bit unrelated, but I know a lot of the goth culture seems to enjoy Dom/Sub dynamics, so if dating a goth guy is your thing that'd be the crowd to scope out. As far as online stuff, just ignore the ones that are far too friendly and move things too fast. Get on the discord channel and just talk to folks every now and again. The discord server the site has is a lot more familial, community centered, and focused on having a good time together - you might find someone you like there, and if not, you're bound to find friends.

[Guest BabyPeach]

People on this site hate the term "fake Daddy" because they say there's no such thing. There sure is. They exploit littles solely for sexual gratification via text, naughty pics, etc. There are also fake littles who exploit Daddies (usually older ones) for money and gifts. Yep, I said it......FAKE. These are people who are deceptive for their own gratification.

 

With that said, most men, real or fake, are into this for sexual reasons (and real ones for caregiving too). It's hard to find a Daddy who isn't sexual, but not impossible.

[Cyrus]

On this site? Not likely. 

[Guest littlegirl707]

I dont know but we are adults and most people are sexully thirsty. I wasnt when i first starteds being little but after years of counsling and working through so much abuse issues. I became sexual. Maybe just wait to get a caregiver and work on yourself for awhile.

[DollDirector]

You have a lot of uncertainties and this,rather than the "state of the market",is what makes dating difficult. It would be the same on a vanilla site ! In fact the people you are talking to are doing you a favor by showing,intentionally or not,what they are looking for. Keep in mind that they can also see what you are showing,and littlegirl707 is not wrong,maybe you should get back with a more positive attitude and things would turn out differently.

[Guest SUeB]

That's the "fun" of the online quickie market. Some people aren't looking for any kind of real relationship, just a quick bit of flirting and wank fodder. Sorry to be so blunt, but we're apparently all adults here.

But on the reverse of that, there is nothing wrong with wanting a sexual relationship, and it's up to the individual how quickly it progresses to that. Doesn't make a guy any less of a Daddy if he's horny quite quickly!

Master and i were physically intimate very quickly, after only a couple of dates. But He didn't jump straight in asking immature man-child questions as soon as we first started talking.

There's a big difference between the anonymous guys with their desperate little hands down their pants, looking only for sexy talk, and a man that wants a sexual relationship with the woman he's trying to get to know.

[princess gremlin]

Honestly, I get more offended by fake daddies than fake doms, because I really think there are guys out there who are just looking for sex/nudes/control/attention and think that they can message littles specifically (when they have NO real interest in ddlg) because they assume we're all just dumb naive immature girls who they can trick no matter what!!! I can't stand it!!!

 

I can't count the number of fetlife messages I get from guys who don't even have "daddy" set as their role on their profile, and then I go to their profile and they have NOTHING about ddlg/cgl, all of their kinks/interests (called 'fetishes' on fet...) are disgusting to me and have nothing to do with mine at all, but their message to me said "i can be your daddy, i'm exactly what you're looking for, and you're exactly the kind of girl i'm looking for, let's talk on kik" like IM NOT STUPID DICKWAD, I CAN LITERALLY SEE THAT YOU'RE NOT A DADDY!!!! WE HAVE NOTHING IN COMMON GET AWAY FROM ME!!!

 

gosh golly goodness that was a long angry rant, but it pisses me off that littles get taken advantage of so much by creeps! O_o