Dating after death; i'm not the odd one here, am i? (possible TW)

[Guest gobacktosleep]

Reassurance alert!

 

So, I make no secret in the fact that i lost my little girl last year. It wasn't unexpected unfortunately, but obviously far sooner than i would have liked. This being the case though we were able to talk a lot about what she would want from me when the inevitable happened, and that was to be the strong and happy daddy she saw so much in. 

 

I contacted someone yesterday on another site, and was called 'freak' for looking. This really hurt my feelings because not only am i always up front about my situation and want to be open with the people i talk to, but also because i know that reaction would be the last thing that my little girl would think i deserve. 

 

I've had time to think on it since yesterday, and i know that this person who said this is the last sort of person i'd want to spend my time with (compassion goes a long way for me), and that pragmatically i've made no missteps in my approach, but i'd like some reassurance that, well, that i'm not a bad guy for wanting to be happy again. 

 

Sorry for the pity party. 

[Little Illy]

Everyone has a different grieving process and timeframe. If yours doesn't meet the "standards" of someone who has never experienced this kinda of tragedy... welp... fuck them (pardon my french).
 

IF you feel you are ready, that is all that matters. That and that your future partners are aware of the situation (they deserve that information if you are to get serious). But no, you are not doing anyting wrong. No there is no determined length of time because everyone is different. Do what makes you feel sane and happy, not what someone thinks they know what is what.

 

Keep your head high and brush off the nay sayers. I hope you find what you are looking for.

[Guest gobacktosleep]

fuck them 

This is pretty much where i am, honestly, and from a few people i've talked to they are definitely in agreement with the sentiment. 

 

I just wanted to see if i was in a minority, in terms of this viewpoint. Thank you for allaying some of my concerns

[Guest Hys]

You're expressing yourself for who you are after the loss of someone you were extremely close to, and more than that, you're doing it because it was one of her last wishes. That's not a bad thing, and whoever calls it that lacks the intelligence and compassion it takes to be a submissive. That is unnacceptable and you don't deserve such treatment.

[Guest Princess2018]

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Edited April 18, 2018 by Princess2018

[##1°*BeDaddy'sGoodGirl]

When I read your post, I didn't think it was a pity party. You have lost someone very special to you. I am sorry for your loss. You want reassurance. You deserve reassurance.These things are so tough, the emotional impact of losing a loved one takes a lot of getting over. It can make you more easily hurt, when outside of these circumstances those words would just bounce off you.

 

Fulfill your little's request. She sounded to have been very wise and caring. You cannot replace her, but you can find happiness of a different sort with someone else, and that is what your little wanted for you to find. There are always rude people out there, who shouldn't say these things, but do. It doesn't make them right. Also I think the one mean voice hits worse when you are still in emotional pain.

 

Little Illy, your french is spot on for this person and what they think. 

 

On this website there is an amazing community with lots of support for you, not only from all the amazing littles, who constantly offer their help and sensible advice. You will find someone, one day soon, I am sure. Do what feels right for you.

[Guest SUeB]

You have suffered a terrible loss. You have grieved, and you may still grieve for a while longer. You will never forget her, and you will remember her both with happiness and the occasional sorrow. That's how it works. How it SHOULDN'T work, is for you to stop living, grieve forever, and never again look to be with another. You aren't stupid, you obviously know that.

People say stupid things. Especially people who have literally no concept of how real, adult life works. Maybe that person is a moron, may even they just don't understand. But either way it doesn't really matter.

You are perfectly normal. You are perfectly ok to feel its time to move on and look for a new relationship. Try not obsess or worry about one (or even possibly a few) random peoples negative and ignorant attitude.

[Guest gobacktosleep]

Thank you all. 

 

I know you're all right in what you are saying, and it's pretty much my thoughts on the situation too. I just wanted to try and sound out some second opinions. 

 

The bottom line is, without being conceited, that i'm a good daddy. The amount of heartache i went through to be near the little girl i love, and to make her feel special and adored, means that i do deserve happiness again, whatever form that takes. Yesterday just made me question the validity of searching for my own happiness i suppose, that it was selfish to involve others in what is a difficult circumstance. 

[Guest Toddity]

I imagine she would be there helping you look if she could. Go be happy. 

[Cybunny]

Wait did she call you a freak for being a daddy or for moving on? If it's for being a daddy whatever people are gonna hate so fuck them and she probably just doesn't "get" DDLG, but if she called you a freak for moving on that's really messed up on her part. You're doing what's right for you how dare she cast judgement about a situation she probably will never understand!! Sometimes I can't believe how horrible and cruel people can be. I don't know why you would ever say something like that to someone going through grieving. You definitely deserve to find happiness and experience love again!!