How does your DDLG work?

[Miss_behaved]

I'm having a talk today with my daddy and going over my specific needs. When we first got together, I had some expectations and we started slowly discussing things. Its been several months and lately we just meet up once or twice a week and end up just being sexual with some spanking here and there. I dont really mind but i went into it needing discipline - its a big part of who i am and what makes me function. 

 

So my topics are: follow through, weekly spankings, structure, and direction. 

 

I'm curious how everyones dynamic works? What are your rules? How do things work with your daddy/little? 

 

 

[Guest MermaidKiss]

My Daddy and I are LDR for the time being and visit every so often. My rules are pretty basic with basic punishments. Timeout, lines, early bedtime, spankings, etc. When we're not together I'll do the punishments that I can do by myself, but if I get bad enough, he'll save a spanking for the next time I see him. We talked as much as we could about each other's needs in the beginning, and are figuring out more as we go and making modifications as necessary. For example, he used to punish me by taking away my stuffies, but when I told him he couldn't do that because if I don't have a stuffie to squeeze, I'll start pulling my hair out or hitting things, just hurting myself in some way. So now he doesn't take my stuffies anymore and uses the other stuff.

[Guest SUeB]

It's certainly not all about things this girl needs from Daddy/Master (talking in third person as instructed by Him). It's a mutually giving relationship. There is effort from both sides.

For us, it's getting further towards M/s now. He makes the rules, she follows them, basically. All He needs, and all He has ever asked for, in relation to the dynamics themselves, is that His girl does as she is told. All she desires is guidance, discipline and the allowance to express concerns about anything He might ask of her, that she may genuinely struggle with. We work incredibly well together, because we both have the same principles when it comes to the whole relationship, not just the labels, etc.

[Guest litdaddy]

currently between partners and all dynamics are different and all my partners deserved and received customized rules/rewards/punishments, but theres some essentials:

 

I need sexual release at least once day

- sometimes it's brutal and me using them

- sometimes it's sweet and loving

- sometimes it's punishment and hurts them

- sometimes it's reward and not focused on my pleasure

 

I need to pick out their panties(/sometimes entire outfit) daily

- I want to know how they look so I can imagine them all day

- I want them to feel my thoughts on their ass and pussy all day

- I want my control to begin first thing every day

 

I need my partner to care for herself as an extension of my caring for her

- this is different for all but generally involves:

-- hygeine, medicine, exercise, nutrition, intoxicants, goals, responsibilities, time management

 

I need regularly scheduled check-ins or time spent together

- this varies by age, work/school, family/roommates, etc

-- if we know when we will be talking or hanging out theres less opportunity to worry what the other is doing/thinking/feeling

--- regularity also allows for variation and open communication, there isnt pressure for every moment together to be at peak significance or intensity

---- this isnt always sexual, kinky, or dynamic-focused, sometimes it's just a vanilla date

 

I need my partner to keep a journal for me to read

- anything said in it cannot be punished, it's a safe place for any thought or feeling and is not a venue for her behavior to be controlled, the entire idea is my learning about her as she learns about herself from our dynamic, info from it may inform our play or rules/rewards/punishments, but it removes the directness that can be intimidating for some partners (I only have experience with women, most of whom are submissive; it might be the case others wont benefit from this) and allows for aftercare to be entirely peaceful and recuperative without any need for analysis of the scene there and then (oftentimes I dont completely process play until later anyway) - I keep a journal myself and while my subs arent allowed to read it, I share from it when it can be helpful to us)

 

obviously safewords, aftercare, and drop follow up is essential to everything too, but these are some outgrowths of that which I've applied to my dynamics and found that most benefits stem from them and most problems are mitigated as much as possible by them

 

hope it helps!

[Guest BabyPeach]

My relationship is both a little and a grown up relationship.  We go out and do things as adults, not just as Daddy/little.  The dynamic for us used to be sexual, but it's not at this point and maybe not ever again.  I no longer consider myself a sexual little.  Little space for us is just me being little (I like to dress little and have a paci or a baba and toys and color and watch Disney or My Little Pony....little stuffs) and cared for by Daddy (brings me snackies, watches me play, plays with me too, watches movies with me, bubble bath time, time for night night, snuggles, feeds me baba, etc.).  As for rules, I'm not much into them and that's fine with my Daddy.  It's a sort of dom relationship, but very soft.......I have a bedtime, I have to ask before I can have candy (wah), I have to ask if I want to pleasure myself and a few other things.  That's about it for official rules.  Daddy throws other rules out there sometimes at his whim (I will adult communicate if I disagree with any rule, etc.).  He can ask for a pic to see if punishment is followed if he's not there. I will often just send random pics of a stuffy I've seen and liked or my panties while I'm wearing them, etc. during the day just to make him smile (but it is not required, nuh). I do not ever want a traditional DDlg relationship in which I'm controlled all the time and constantly bossed around. I don't have to be reminded to brush my teeth, etc.....nuh.  Nothing wrong with that, it just isn't for me because I'm still very much adult me and I dun like to be bossed!

[LittleKitten13]

Papa and I are both big and little, so we'll have big dates and stuff (but sometimes I kinda go into little space, depending on the date...zoos and arcades get me there real quick), but also just have time for Kitten and Papa.  There isn't a power-exchange for us, and I am not a sexual little.

More like I will actually regress to a younger age mentally, and Papa is there to play with or comfort me.  If we're big and doing sexual things sometimes something will frighten me and it sends me immediately to a very small and frightened little space, and he will hold and comfort me until I'm okay again.

As a little I am very affectionate toward Papa and I love to pet his hair or beard, and to sit on his lap and snuggle close.  If we're at the zoo or something that makes me kinda little, I like to explore, but always check to make sure Papa is right behind me, or hold his hand so I know he's there.

I think for me ddlg (actually I think we're more cg/l, because he isn't really dominate) is more a mix of being therapeutic and part of my personality, than it is a kink.