New to the DDLG community

[Ceejaysmitty_98]

My boyfriend just recently told me he likes to be dominated and likes to cross dress in the bedroom, I am very new to all of this and had only been a submissive in past Daddy relationships and so i am quite new to the whole thing, i started out as a very lose in my rules but over time he went to other DOMs and role played so i have no idea how to punish him or what to do as a mommy.

Ive tried spanking, he finds it too pleasureable, and i dont like taking away the stuff that he likes. Its been a bit hard for me bc i like to be more kind and ive never been in the dominant roll

[Guest BabyPeach]

First, do you enjoy being in the dominant role?  It could be that being a Mommy Dom isn't for you.  There are caregivers who are on the softer side, but it sounds like he wants to be punished harder and dominated more.  You say he went to other doms, exactly what did he get from them that he doesn't get from you? <---- You need to ask him that.

 

The thing I'm getting here is that you first need to ask yourself if this is what YOU want.  Just because he wants you to step into that role doesn't mean it's for you or that you have to do it.  If you decide it is what you want, then you need to talk to him and have him tell you what HE needs (rules, punishments, everything....you can't read his mind so he has to literally tell you what he wants).  After talking to him adult to adult about his needs and don't forget discussing your needs too, you need to decide if you can fill that role for him.

[Guest Daffodil]

Hi!

 

It might be worth taking the BDSMtest because then it might give you and insight to what you are and aren't interested in? Just because when you see it in a more black and white view it can help figure things out. 

You both need to figure out what you want as a couple, but also individually as well. Try experimenting with each other in a safe and welcoming environment, so you both feel free to explore.

 

It's so important to talk to one and other, communicate is key! as they say! Other wise where is the fun if one or both isn't enjoying it? You can end up going down a sticky road if you don't talk to each other. 

 

If you need any advice, feel free to message me!

 

Hope everything works out ♥