Phone calls- is that really to clingy?

[Dezzi]

When me and my daddy got together he had me on the phone with him almost 24/6 it seemed then his service got cut off. So I understood that we couldn't talk as much but I wanted to call whenever he could. I got used to him being there at least partly. But the past two weeks he has called me crazy, clingy, and over emotional because I've gotten upset that he told me to stop calling him and he didn't wanna talk. I'm a person of routine and I've explained to him but he just keeps getting upset. Am I really being to much? I just wanna talk to him I miss his voice and the connection it gives rather than just two texts a day at most... Am I being clingy? Or should I keep trying to explain to him?

[Guest Loyal_Daddy21]

If this relationship is long distance then I feel that phone calls or video calls are essential. For me personally I cannot have a connection with someone unless we voice call somewhat often. Especially if it's a new relationship you can really find out more about someone and understand their personality more over a phone call. And your able to focus relatively 100% on one another whereas if you're only texting that can't happen.

 

I don't think your being clingy at all, I would try to explain to him that hearing his voice is really important to you and ask him to try to make an effort to do so, to me it sounds like you won't be happy with mainly just texting.

[Guest BabyPeach]

It's really difficult to figure out why he's acting this way.  It could be that the newness of the relationship has worn off and now he just can't keep up that phone call pace because it's sort of unrealistic.  Also, maybe his current circumstances don't allow for a lot of phone talking?  Maybe something has changed in his living, or work, environment?

 

With that said, it is wrong for him to call you names when he was participating in that behavior until he decided he didn't want to.  That doesn't make you clingy or crazy.  He was a willing participant when that expectation was set.

 

Where that leaves you two is that you will have to talk and agree on what's realistically acceptable, and what isn't, now that the relationship isn't as new.  The bottom line is that he shouldn't be calling you names and you two need to talk adult talk to decide if he can meet your needs as a Daddy and a partner.

Edited March 24, 2018 by BabyPeach

[princessfreckles]

You're definitely not being clingy. To echo what was said above, if it's a LDR then the phone calls and video chats are essential to your relationship. Even if you were in a DDlg relationship and in a vanilla one, the calls and video chats would be just as important. 

 

Also, I hate to plant seeds of doubt in your mind, but if all the sudden he's being more distant and not communicating as much there might be something else going on that he's refusing to tell you or not ready to tell you yet. 

 

Stepping outside of your role as a little, you need to have a serious talk with him about what's really going on. Not necessarily make it about you missing communicating with him, but see if everything is okay. Is he stressed about things outside of your relationship and he hasn't opened up? Because I'd be concerned if all of the sudden my Daddy had changed and started calling me crazy, clingy, etc. Basically give him a chance to be honest with you. 

 

I hope things get better for you. 

[LittleKitten13]

Him calling you names is never a good thing.

I do want to ask though, is he not wanting you to EVER call, or just not as frequent?  I am also a creature of habit, and Papa and I always call for about 30-60 minutes every night before bed, and I have a tendency to be upset if I don't get my goodnight call, especially if it was unexpected to not get a call that night (if I have warning, I'm usually somewhat okay).

If you have a long distance relationship, phone calls/video calls are very important (like everyone else has said) for communication, so if he's suddenly not wanting to EVER call, I would be very concerned, and like others have said, talk big to big.

[Guest Hys]

I don't think this is too clingy. I think the amount of calling might be a bit much depending on how long each call lasts, but I don't think wanting to call him and hear his voice is out of the question - especially when he only texts you twice a day.

 

To give some background, my last relationship was a long distance one that lasted six years. For the first two years we spent every night from eight to six in the morning just talking nonstop, and after that we'd text each other throughout the day just to keep each other updated with what was going on in life. This eventually died down due to life circumstances but for the most part we were consistent with wanting to spend time on one another. On the last year we spent a lot of time texting, and maybe four hours a night talking. I never saw this as clingy because we never had to beg each other to call, we naturally just wanted to talk - and I feel this natural want for communication isn't clingy so long as it's mutual.

 

Seeing as for you and your partner it isn't mutual, then yes, perspectively speaking talking for that long would be clingy to him. Especially if he works a lot and spends time doing more productive things. Overall, this still doesn't make YOU clingy as a whole, just situationally so. You aren't ever wrong for wanting to spend time with someone you love, remember that.

[Frog]

i wouldn't consider it clingy. But to be fair, I like clingy littles and middles anyway. But if you two got used to calling that often, and you found it a comforting routine, then no, it's not clingy. For whatever reason (and let's not delve into psychological banter) you find it a useful routine that you enjoyed. Presumably he did enjoy it, but for some reason now he's having trouble with it.

 

When you two did talk, did you do most of the talking? It might be that he feels like he can't keep up his part of the conversation.

 

You said his service was terminated. Could it be that this is part of a financial setback? It might be that he's feeling down about something else and is lashing out as a result.

 

We can't crawl into his head, but you have the right to tell him you like that daily contact. Besides, if he's on the internet, what's wrong with Skype or Duo/Hangouts or Facetime or something?

Edited April 2, 2018 by Frog

[Dezzi]

Thank you everyone for your input. He has told me it just makes him uncomfortable to call and I could agree that it's financial stress and he is preoccupied. I feel like I'm over reacting. He also told me it's a form of punishment for not going to bed and getting the sleep he told me I had to get.