Are there many littles / middles or other sub types out there with BPD or mental health problems

[DaddyToBabyGirl]

Hi - difficult question but having had an horific breakup with a girl where we both discovered our Dom & sub sides including a DDLG element in which I feel sure (as one with clinical knowledge) she has BPD. The devaluation phase was horrific! I even got attacked and had to restrain her - which I am trained for - and then I got accused of assault / domestic abuse. Thankfully following police investigation I was cleared of accusations - the right result. But I loved her and always will - its a powerful thing being a Daddy and especially to one with BPD. For various reasons - often escape from issues and filling the void of emptiness BPD often fear - I wonder if there are statistically a lot of littles or folks in BDSM who had BPD and other such mental health problems. I suspect there are many with anxiety disorders. Please note I am a clinician and hugely compassionate to mental health problems. Its part of why I wanted to take care of her. I am not judging - just trying to understand and grow and learn to be a better Daddy in the future.

[Guest Arc]

I can't work out why you felt the need to explain that whole story, as seems pretty personal and while you have said it anonymously... if I was either party in that situation I would not be posting it online out of respect. I also think you could have asked the same question without talking about all of that. But that's just me. 

 

I think the most recent post about mental disorders is this one. https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/29758-twmentally-ill-littles-cgs/

 

Not sure how knowing the statistics on who has BDP or other illnesses is going to help you learn to be a better daddy, though...

[DaddyToBabyGirl]

I have clinical interests too and am looking at moving my clinical practice into helpig those with BPD. Hence trying to understand it more. Also - nearly all survivors of BPD abuse relationships need to understand I it more as part of their own healing. My apologies if I offended.

I only wish I could have understood it more. I tried my hardest to work through it and I wanted so much to be the man to show her she was loved and cared for and would not give up. If I understand things more I can help more and be more compassionate. It also helps my own healing to understand. It destroys all self esteem of the victim. But I still love her and always will. It wasn’t her fault. Just sorry I could tolerate the fear of abandonment from her which caused the sabotage by her. Broke my heart but I’m recovering. I feel for her suffering too.

Edited March 20, 2018 by DaddyToBabyGirl

[DaddyToBabyGirl]

Thanks for that link Arc of infinity. An interesting thread. It’s great that so many folks are self aware and being so brave and strong. Well done you and all of you who are struggling. My ex was. It diagnosed but I think went on to get assessed after I put the pieces of the jigsaw together. She was very high functioning and so hard to see her issues. Until later into the relationship.

[Guest 20x]

Im gonna make it blunt and simple. yes, majority of littles have mental problems

[DaddyToBabyGirl]

Thanks for your direct response 20x. I appreciate I may be touching on a difficult issue for folks. I am now suffering ptsd from the devaluation/ aggression. Never ever struggled with anything like that. I empathise with all who struggle.

But I’m getting strong and healing well.

[neworder]

Trying to separate from someone who is borderline is like taking away heroin from a junkie. Expect bunnies to be boiled, attacks, or a little jail time from the backlash. Record record record... otherwise the junkie will play the victim

 

As for your general question, age regression is a coping strategy for either crisis type events or underlying mental issues so I would say it’s not unlikely there are mental issues. Anxiety and depression seems to be fairly common as well. As far as PD’s... borderline and codependent more likely than say histrionic narcissistic or schizoid being a root cause ( or strong correlation) for helping steer someone into ddlg

[Guest Arc]

I don't think it's fair to say that. I've had many break ups before, and while they are extremely upsetting I would never react so extreme. Don't put everyone in the same box.

[Guest BabyPeach]

Mental issues are prevalent in our society in general. My ex-Daddy is almost definitely a narcissist (undiagnosed). Many women, especially, in our society are damaged because girls and women have always taken the brunt of negativity historically.

[Guest BabyPeach]

Trying to separate from someone who is borderline is like taking away heroin from a junkie. Expect bunnies to be boiled, attacks, or a little jail time from the backlash. Record record record... otherwise the junkie will play the victim

 

 

 

There are probably people with BPD here (not me, but it isn't necessarily rare), just saying. 

[DominantEmperorTiberius]

Mental issues are prevalent in our society in general. My ex-Daddy is almost definitely a narcissist (undiagnosed). Many women, especially, in our society are damaged because girls and women have always taken the brunt of negativity historically.

 

Almost everyone is a narcissist in the strict sense of the term.  We can all be self-absorbed to some extent.  A labeled narcissist is often someone a little more self-absorbed than the writer   Just like, a "pervert" is someone about 5% kinkier than you...

 

As for women being damaged because they take the brunt of negativity, maybe but there are also plenty who are narcissists while living lives of extreme privilige  like KimK and the whole clan for instance.  Lots of young women in modern society are self-absorbed because they are pandered to, fawned over, reassured they are outstanding, beautiful, capable etc. and have not struggle in their lives.  There are plenty of such priviliged princesses in my classes lol!

[Guest BabyPeach]

Almost everyone is a narcissist in the strict sense of the term.  We can all be self-absorbed to some extent.  A labeled narcissist is often someone a little more self-absorbed than the writer   Just like, a "pervert" is someone about 5% kinkier than you...

 

 

 

I realize that there is a healthy level of narcissism in the average person, but he's more of a narcissist in the clinically diagnosed sense.  He's not only self absorbed, he's quite toxic (which is why I can't be with him). Also, true narcissism has very little to do with our selfie culture.

Edited March 20, 2018 by BabyPeach

[neworder]

There are probably people with BPD here (not me, but it isn't necessarily rare), just saying. 

 

OP's seen the damage firsthand and I've been victim of a borderline, too, many years ago. Hopefully the people here aren't as far out on the axis of severity as these two cases. As any reasonable person would understand, any kind of disorder can be mild or severe - not only just totally 0% or totally 100%.

 

Not all cases, but one does not have free agency to just up and leave a severe BPD without becoming a victim of something. That was my mistake. Instead of being the shiny she would lose, I should have turned into a dull, worthless, unwanted penny, so she could find a new shiny to latch on to. Then I would have been thoughtlessly discarded, to my delight. Instead I went thru hell which became my red pill.

 

But I can see how you misunderstood and thought I was painting all BPD as having the same end-game behavior. Of course not! Apologies for my making it sound that way. 

Edited March 20, 2018 by neworder

[Amber Sweet]

Yeah, age regression is obviously prevalent here! That's also why nice ppl try to make this community a "safe space", because there is a myriad of people dealing with mental health issues (not a negative, but just a fact). I personally dont have BPD, but I did have trauma in my childhood, and I suffer from diagnosed anxiety and depression (or rather, I would if it weren't for me being proactive in taking care of myself). 

 

That all being said, you can only do so much for one person. Your partner has to work through whatever hangups they have.They have to try and better themselves on their own, and not rely on someone else to make life better FOR them. I see this all of the time, sadly. 

[neworder]

 Your partner has to work through whatever hangups they have.They have to try and better themselves on their own, and not rely on someone else to make life better FOR them. I see this all of the time, sadly. 

 

My goal as a daddy is to have my little not need a daddy anymore. I encourage her embracing therapy when she's taking it (instead of the usual going thru the motions to get it over with), keeping her on track of meds when prescribed (often forgotten about), having her reevaluate inappropriate reactions, setting goals, becoming responsible for herself... polar opposite of the males who just wants nude pics.

 

So starting point: having to rely on someone else... destination: no longer needing to rely on someone else.

[Guest MermaidKiss]

I have borderline personality. It's made life very hard all around but I'm learning to manage. My Daddy has been very patient with me. It's difficult, but it's not impossible to have a relationship with someone with BPD.