SO wasn't interested in CGl but?

[That_Girl_In_The_Tower]

Hoi! So I don't know if I'm really looking for advice or just wanting to put my thoughts out somewhere, but I figure it probably couldn't hurt to post this either way. 

 

I'm in a poly relationship with this really great trans-femme who I will name here as... uhh... Lexi. Lexi is kinda amazing and I love them a lot, and they recently helped get me away from another partner I had that they could tell was manipulating me. I will name that person as.. Donna. The only thing that really made me wanna do anything with Donna in the first place is that they were into CGl, and that's kinda a super big deal to me as you might be able to guess from the fact I am here on this website. Lexi had told me before that they weren't interested in that. Fast forward two or three months to a week ago, and Lexi was pointing out the pattern of manipulation that Donna had put me in. And coming to the realization that that was really what was happening was really rough. I spent a couple days at their apartment, and we talked a lot about what had happened. 

 

At one point Lexi brought up how DD/lg worked into it. And they said "so... maybe not DD... but what about DM?", and me being me, I replied with "Dungeon Master?" and we kinda laughed and the subject changed before I could really think about what they had just said anymore, and we were both asleep pretty soon after that. But starting the next day... things starting being a little different. When I'm at their place, they always cook, that's nothing new. But chocolate chocolate chip pancakes were. And "oh my goodness, you little chocolate demon" *definitely* was. And then they asked if I wanted to watch Tangled. I've told them before it's my favorite movie and important to me and I wanted to watch it with them, but usually if they're gonna suggest something it's anime. then we watched Moana after and they said I should bring more Disney movies. Then that night, I got in trouble for cussing so much x3 And then the next day before I had to leave and I was really upset about having to, they said they were proud of me and they known I can do it. They've always been super supportive of everything I do, but this felt different. 

 

I guess the big thing I'm unsure about is that Lexi is actually pretty submissive as well. We've had me try to be the dominate one a couple times and I guess its not a total disaster, but they're definitely a lot better and more comfortable in dominate roles than I am. And it's kinda seemed like they're only getting even better and even more comfortable. And they do have another partner that I believe is more dominate with them. 

 

Should I just let Lexi set her own pace with this? Or should I try to let out my little a little more? I've kinda already started doing that just in response to what they've been doing. I don't wanna overwhelm them, but at the same time I've almost called them mommy a couple times already by accident >u> And I also get the sense that they don't even actually know too much about CG/l stuff, especially because of the DM thing. I really don't wanna start talking about like, sippy cups and pacies if they have no idea that that kinda stuff is even a thing. They're definitely not one to shame or anything, but I dont wanna make things weird either. 

 

 

[Rebel]

From what I got from reading everything is that "Lexi's" prior notion was against CG/L, but her recent actions show a faint interest or openness to the subject. I would say it would be best if y'all sat down and started talking about it, and tell her that her actions are starting to take on the CG traits. If she says she's starting to open up to it (or something of the like), then ask her what she'd want the next step to be. 

[Littlest_Bee]

It sounds (to me) as if Lexi got an idea about how important that side is to you and wants to be supportive/ help you get over someone who would manipulate you.

 

I agree with Rebel that the most important thing is communication right now.

 

In your situation I would probably ask them what they know about the dynamic and if these changes have been a conscious effort. Then I would make sure I'd know what I could reasonably expect them to do, if there's an interest on their part or if it's just to accommodate my(your) needs to a certain extent, etc

 

See, a lot of my friends would indulge me if I want to watch a Disney movie some time and they would likely enjoy that despite usually having other preferences but I also know people who collect the movies themselves as well as merchandise and would be enthusiastic about a whole Disney themed movie night. It's always good to know where you stand before you break out the "Frozen" cookie cutters or start planning a trip to Disneyland.

[That_Girl_In_The_Tower]

It didn't surprise me that they were okay with watching a Disney movie, but it did surprise me that they were the ones to bring it up. I think they're kinda mostly familiar with harder dom/sub roles, just from everything I know about them and what's been going on. They seem to be going hard on the punishment/scolding aspects. Which is fine, I like that stuff a little too, and I definitely don't think they'd be against being softer mostly, even before this they've mentioned how much they love cooking for me and that they're happy I can feel safe around them and stuff like that. It just makes me really wonder how much they actually know about like, actual CG/l and not just dom/sub relationships where the dom is called daddy. So that'll probably be my first question once I'm over there again in a couple days ^-^ Thank you both so much!