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Extremely Discouraged


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Posted

I've had a very long distance(4,500m) little for the past 6 months or so and mutually decided that it wasn't going to go anywhere and ended it. She was the one that introduced me to the whole DDLG thing a few months after we met. After spending about a hour on fetlife i'm completely discouraged. Nobody is going to be looking for a 18yo daddy with little REAL experience as a caregiver. I honestly don't know what to do or even where to start.

Posted
So you start now. Like this. Try be patient. Many don't see someone of your age as being capable of actually being a daddy. It's just the way it is. Take your time. Don't be discouraged. Learn. Read. Talk to others in the lifestyle. Try not be too focused on finding a relationship. It will happen when it happens. That's a cheesy thing to say, but it's true.
  • Like 4
Posted

There are plenty of littles who are very happy with the pace which comes with mutual inexperience, don't worry about it. Just be patient and you'll find someone :)

  • Like 1
Guest infinitecases
Posted

Whilst some people might not think an 18 year old might have much real experience, who's to say you won't find a little? My Daddy was only 19 when we met and has always been exactly how he is now even before I called him my Daddy!! Plus I think it's nice to be able to learn together with the person you find, so I'm sure there'll definitely be someone out there for you, everyone has to start somewhere! 

  • Like 1
Posted

Dude you have to be comfortable in yourself. A relationship will not solve all your problems in life. Work on yourself, learn to love yourself, socialise and enjoy life. Then, when you least expect it, poof, love will appear. I bet you're awesome dude, just enjoy your life without worrying about it and it'll happen!

  • Like 3
Posted

I agree with the other poster here, especially SUeB. Who usually has an uncommon wisdom derived from experience, I'm guessing.

Just start now. Don't worry about a relationship. Participate in the community here. Socialise. 

Don't worry about expectations; yours, or theirs. And I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.

 

Many littles do prefer more experience, or at least an age gap or whatever sort of "gravitas" most people think comes with age (it's debatable of course depending on the person; I didn't feel fully "adult"-ish until rather recently in my three decades).

But personality, and willingness to learn, and decency, is far more important.

 

And as was already said, if you look at the personals, there are PLENTY of littles who don't mind the inexperience. Or the age. They may be the minority, but they're a fairly substantial one.

Everyone here is just looking to connect, one way or another.

Good luck. :) 

  • Like 1
Posted

As long as you have an open personality and seem very approachable, your experience will becomes something minor to most people. The best advice is to just be yourself and above all, do what people here are saying:

 

Start early!

 

You know how, in school, we are told to save money early so that when we get older we are set to pay for what needs to be paid for as adults? It’s kind of the same thing. Study the lifestyle, look inward to understand what kind of Daddy you want to be, and basically know yourself and how you run things.

 

Then when that special somebody comes along, you will have prepared yourself for what is to come. Perhaps you could even search around for some friends who happen to be Little and are okay with being that way around you so you can start to think, “Okay if this was my little, how would I respond?” So you can, again, learn how you like to do things.

 

Many more experienced Daddy’s are also willing to help people like us learn and grow, all you have to do is ask.

 

TL;Dr

 

Take the time you have to learn so you’re the perfect Daddy for somebody later on.

Posted

Complaining that you're 18? I need the worlds smallest violin lol

 

Seriously fella, you'll be fine. You don't need to be in a relationship all your life anyway, if one comes along grab it if not just enjoy life.

  • Like 1
Posted

I'm beside PapaMax, playing the world's smallest fiddle. There are more littles who seek a daddy near your age than those who actively seek out a daddy my age. 

 

It's been over a year since I had a little to go out with and do cute fun things. Since then, I've been doing this thing called 'life'.

Posted (edited)
  On 3/8/2018 at 9:59 PM, neworder said:

I'm beside PapaMax, playing the world's smallest fiddle. There are more littles who seek a daddy near your age than those who actively seek out a daddy my age.

 

It's been over a year since I had a little to go out with and do cute fun things. Since then, I've been doing this thing called 'life'.

The heck* is a life? Edited by Usagi
Guest Spookycupcake
Posted

I think you'll be okay, I mean its hard to go through a break up but you'll find a little.

Posted

An hour on fetlife is hardly any time at all! relax. take things slow. you'll find a little eventually

Posted (edited)

Here's some action that you can take to make yourself more open to somebody taking a look at you.  The more you let people see about you the more they are going to feel that you are real and they might have something they connect with you.  Lot of folks on here like to play video games and others like to color.  What do you like to do and what are you like? All people find out if they go to your profile is that you are 18.  Your profile needs at a minimum that you've had one LDR for whatever time and learned a lot from it.  Be honest about who you are and what you like.  And you need a picture that is bight and inviting yours is kind of a sad black hole.

 

These are marketing moves, all the other advice covers a lot of good points.

 

You will never be perfect, but you can always be better.

Edited by CaresAlot
Guest LADaddy4Babygirl
Posted

Agreed, stay calm and enjoy yourself. Have patience....if you think it's tough being 18 and trying to find a babygirl, try being over 40 and trying to find one.....We all have issues but patience will net you want you want.

Guest mayachan
Posted (edited)
My Daddy is 3 years younger than me. He started to be my caretaker when he was 20. The point is - he is waaaay more mature than me. Its ddlg we can have a high numbers on our ID but what is important is what is in our hearts. Also as a younger Daddy you can understand your little more and participate with whatever she is interested in right now. Try to concvince your 20 years older Daddy to play boardgame with you... Reach your dreams dont be discouraged by what other people are saying , and remember The harder is to achieve a dream the more satisfaction you will feel when you succeed. May your Heart will be your lantern during this perilious journey <3 Edited by mayachan
Guest BabyPeach
Posted

Your age is perfect for a little near your age.  You two can learn, and grow, together.  It's also going to be easier for you to build a solid, long term relationship with your little outside of the dynamic.  Don't get discouraged.  It takes time to find someone.

Posted

Honestly I would just like to apologize first. After sleeping on it I've realized I majorly overreacted. Thanks everyone for all of the great replies.. ^^

Posted (edited)
  On 3/9/2018 at 3:57 AM, CaresAlot said:

Here's some action that you can take to make yourself more open to somebody taking a look at you.  The more you let people see about you the more they are going to feel that you are real and they might have something they connect with you.  Lot of folks on here like to play video games and others like to color.  What do you like to do and what are you like? All people find out if they go to your profile is that you are 18.  Your profile needs at a minimum that you've had one LDR for whatever time and learned a lot from it.  Be honest about who you are and what you like.  And you need a picture that is bight and inviting yours is kind of a sad black hole.

 

These are marketing moves, all the other advice covers a lot of good points.

 

You will never be perfect, but you can always be better.

Yea. That's kinda why I apologized. I sorta just made an account used whatever pic I had, didn't bother setting up my profile yet and started ranting.

Edited by Cactar
Posted

Since you are on fet, see if there are any ddlg groups that host Munches in your area - where everyone in the ddlg community get together in public like a restaurant and hang out. Seems to be the best way to find someone.

 

Here are 2 in my area to give you an idea of what they are like:

 

[NSFW - fet + possible naughty avatars] https://fetlife.com/groups/11704

 

[NSFW - fet + possible naughty avatars] https://fetlife.com/groups/8207

  • Like 1

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