How to handle multiple requests?

[Usagi]

(Sorry if this is in the wrong spot.)

 

So I’m new to this website so I don’t have this problem yet, and I don’t even know if I will have it, but I’ll ask for future reference anyway.

 

In the personals section of this site, there’s obviously a TON of people looking for Daddy’s and Little’s and there’s a ton of replies on each thread. It stands to reason that one person could have multiple people applying to be that “special someone” at the same time.

 

How do you handle that? Does everybody go into this with an “expect for the worst, hope for the best” mentality? Do you only take one person at a time?

 

If/when I put a personal up, I would like to know the best way to do this so that, if I find the right person, I don’t also hurt others in the process.

[ProfessorDaddy]

A_I think this is an appropriate part of the forum for this. No worries.

 

As far as your question, I'd say it's much like dating in general. There's nothing inherently wrong with feeling someone out and "casually dating" a few people to decide who you connect with. It's even the norm, and expected.

But, it's not really the reality. Obviously, people feel hurt, and there can be trust and jealousy issues.

 

I figure the best policy is just to be open, and honest. If you start clicking with someone, and it moves toward a dynamic, then focus on them and taper off anything else. 

Everyone is different, but I figure that's a good way to handle it and avoid hurt feelings.

Don't lead anyone on. If something develops, be open about it. 

[Guest SUeB]

For this girl, she found she could only focus on one person at a time. Everyone works differently, of course, but she gets overwhelmed trying to juggle too many balls in the air at once (lol, rather unfortunate turn of phrase there).

[KaliGuurl]

I've had a lot of luck on dating sites so I feel like I could offer my personal experience.

 

I firmly believe you get in what you put out. If you actively spend time messaging people, making conversation, meeting for coffee, ect. your odds of actually finding someone you're compatible with increase.

 

You have to message mutiple people at once. Out of every 10 people you message, usually one or two will actually be worth your time. Or will even respond to you.

 

I go into it with no expectations. A lot of people use fake photos or have ulterior motives. Just because people talk a good game doesn't mean they can actually follow through with being a good Daddy or Dom. Or be the right fit for you personally.

 

You're not obgligated to respond to any message or nor is anyone obgligated to respond to you. Some people will just fall off the grid and you won't hear from them again. Which is another reason you shouldn't go into any conversation with expectations.

 

I totally believe you can't have a good relationship if you don't start off being good friends. Having things in common, going to dinner, just learning about each other as people has always made it easier for me once things start going into a Daddy/little direction.

 

A lot of people ask me how I end up actually in a relationship with someone from a dating site. One of the biggest things I do is to actually meet up with the person. I exchange a few messages and then meet them for coffee or a drink or whatever. Anyone can say anything over a message, anyone can steal a photo. I don't believe in going back and forth over messages for weeks only to meet the person to find out we aren't compatible or they've been lying.

 

I know that's hard. Trust me. My Daddy lived in another state when we met on a fetish forum. He drove 720 miles to meet me. It can be difficult but for the right person it's totally worth it.

 

Relationships are hard. Dating is hard. People get hurt. It happens. You learn from it. If you're worried about getting hurt or possibly hurting someone then I would not suggest starting to date.

 

Hopefully this helped.

[Usagi]

Thank you all for your responses. The general consensus here seems to be to throw yourself out there and see what sticks, which I respect. Thank you all for your replies, you’ve made me feel a little bit better about when I eventually put something (myself) out there.