Is your daddy your only trigger

[AZDaddydom]

I'm really curious from all the littles out there if your daddy is your only trigger. My wife and I have been married for 15 years and have 3 kids. We only started getting into this about the last 2 years. We experimented with bdsm and she liked it but not the pain aspect of it or being treated like a slave. She has always naturally had little tendencies like coloring, bubble baths, hair brushed, pouts in a little voice and loves snuggles, my little pony and carebears and for me to take care of her. She is used to and normally very independent and is not submissive in public at all but around me she becomes very submissive and sometimes little like. I found the ddlg thing and it really connected with me because I'm more of a nurturing dom not a true dom. I like to take care of her every need, she is my world and My equal when it comes to running a home and My kids are my world too but I like to treat her as my special princess too. Anyways, we started to try this 2 years ago and I obviously way into it but she had to slowly warm up to it. I try to be patient because I want her to jump to being completely submissive all the time, which is hard because we have 3 kids 12, 9 and 2. I guess I have these ideas that when the kids are at school and our son is asleep she will go dress up and act little even when I'm gone at work. But she doesn't, she is in complete mommy/adult mode all day long. I know she gets really stressed out because it can become too much and tel her that I see how calming coloring can be or snuggling up to get stuffies can be but she says she doesn't go there when she is stressed. She says I'm pretty much the one that triggers those things. She says when I get home I send her into submissive mode, which i love and totally ok with but many times it takes a lot to get her un-stressed and calm to be in that submissive state. I'm not complaining, really I'm not, she has really opened up to this because she never really saw her natural little tendencies and at first thought it was wierd but has seen what I'm showing her and opening up. I just want to know if any littles had a hard time opening up to it and your daddy is really your only trigger. I see many littles on here that do it alone a lot or habe many triggers and i won't lie i wish she would too but i don't push it at all I just am trying to let her open up to it her own way.

 

Sorry this was so long, thanks for reading!

[Guest princessthora]

I live with my Daddy, and he works during the day and I have a pretty hard time getting into little space when he isn't around, usually I don't really feel little till he gets home. I usually just end up missing him, and wanting to distract myself. That being said I can kind of consciously go into little space? like on purpose if that makes sense?its not all the time though. Buts its because I WANT to feel little but I have a lot of time on my hands (i only work very part time and we dont have kids) but I put time aside to feel little even when my Daddy isn't home. I've been trying to use little space to help with stress. One thing that my Daddy has done to help is give me "homework" so for example if I'm bad he'll give me assignments i can do when he's gone like writing lines (ex. "I will not swear to Daddy"). If i've been good, he'll give me fun assignments like colour one page of my colouring book, or he'll give me money to go buy candy or a new stuffie when he's gone.  Basically these things kind of help me go into little space. Hope that helps!! Good luck!!  

Edited March 7, 2018 by princessthora

[littlefemmenist]

[Guest Looby-Lou]

It's great that you and your wife are discovering this way of life together, and that you are patient about your wife not being little as often or for as much time, as you would ideally like.

I imagine it's perhaps very hard for her to feel little when she's in a responsible position of caring for her own little children.  Plus it's a fairly new experience for her. Maybe it takes her a while to leave the "mummy" role behind and allow herself to be truly little in herself.  Some mothers always have an alert system running in their mind, ready to leap if the kids need them, whatever they're doing and wherever they are. So it could be hard for her to relax and be little as often as you'd like.

As for me, I have a little response often and to lots of things, maybe because the little is always in me, if that makes any sense -  it's a part even of my adult personality.

So seeing a teddy in the shop, or a cute hairband, or feeling emotional ....basically anything can make me instantly little. I just don't let it show if it's inappropriate. But lots of times I wish I had a daddy there to share it with me. So your wife is really lucky to have you, and I'm sure as time goes on she'll start to turn to you more and relax more easily into her little self.  

Wishing both of you joy in your marriage  

[AZDaddydom]

It's great that you and your wife are discovering this way of life together, and that you are patient about your wife not being little as often or for as much time, as you would ideally like.

I imagine it's perhaps very hard for her to feel little when she's in a responsible position of caring for her own little children. Plus it's a fairly new experience for her. Maybe it takes her a while to leave the "mummy" role behind and allow herself to be truly little in herself. Some mothers always have an alert system running in their mind, ready to leap if the kids need them, whatever they're doing and wherever they are. So it could be hard for her to relax and be little as often as you'd like.

As for me, I have a little response often and to lots of things, maybe because the little is always in me, if that makes any sense - it's a part even of my adult personality.

So seeing a teddy in the shop, or a cute hairband, or feeling emotional ....basically anything can make me instantly little. I just don't let it show if it's inappropriate. But lots of times I wish I had a daddy there to share it with me. So your wife is really lucky to have you, and I'm sure as time goes on she'll start to turn to you more and relax more easily into her little self.

Wishing both of you joy in your marriage

Thank you looby, I appreciate your words. I know, unlike you, she never really acknowledged her little side. But she has so many tendencies and I've just been slowly trying to help her see it. I think she is just opening up to the fact that there is even this many people into it.

[Angel24]

For me, I can be put into little space by something as simple as feeling cute, with or without interaction from my Daddy. Like last night, I was hanging in my living room with my parents and drinking apple juice in a sippie cup and I had my blankie with me and I slipped into little space. Of course Daddy always helps me get into too, although it's more difficult when i'm sad or stressed. Hope all goes good for you

[Guest curiousmiddle]

Like others have said, maybe she can't get herself there because a child is in the house which means she's automatically taking the adult role. With you there, she doesn't have to worry about the kids. But besides that, I know something that helps my girlfriend go into littlespace without her daddy or me is when she does something specific that she did as a child. Her favorite cartoon when she was a kid was Rugrats, so the nostalgia of watching it can sometimes send her there. Eating her favorite childhood snack. Playing her favorite childhood game. Don't do just any childish thing, do the things that she actually did as a child. There's a different feeling from watching today's cartoons/movies and cartoons/movies from your childhood.

[Guest infinitecases]

I think it's different for everyone, some people find it easier to fall into little space than others. I personally find it quite hard, as in I can act and feel more childish I guess a lot of the time but I'm not necessarily feeling extremely little to the point where it can relieve my stress. I can only really ever remember doing it fully, without holding back, twice, and both times were only because my Daddy was there to encourage it. I can feel 'little' by myself with my stuffies and watching cartoons.. but it's not really the same kind of experience, I don't really get the release of stress I would get otherwise after being coaxed into it, and even then, I find it quite difficult to let go of the things that have been happening all day and stressing me out. 

[Guest Looby-Lou]

... We only started getting into this about the last 2 years....

 

I read your original post again, because something about the age of your children had raised a question in my mind.  Your youngest child is 2, around the same time you and your wife started experimenting with BDSM.  Have you chatted with your wife about her thoughts and possible worries? Is there any chance she feels a bit freaked out, maybe connecting the birth of her youngest child in her mind with starting DDLG roles? Maybe she's scared that she's perverted, or worried that she is secretly sexualising her child - which of course she is NOT, but we all have irrational worries from time to time. 

DDLG is so personal to each of us, so full of nuance and discovery. Maybe there is something(s) in her mind that is preventing her from feeling comfortable as a little.  

But I would still guess the biggest problem is that she's in an a very responsible adult mothering role 24/7 and it's hard to switch between that and being a little. If that's so, remember that while your kids will always need you both, they WILL get older and maybe your wife will then find it easier to be little herself.

Good luck

[Guest bunnybear11]

yes yes totally, I tend don't to go into little space when I'm stressed and going through difficult times, and that is totally normal and okay, most littles r like that I believe. And I mostly go into little space when I'm with my daddy, he triggers this in me and even though I'm still a little when I'm away from him I don't usually act little, I have little qualities and ways that sometimes show, but that is because this is who I am (and sometimes/quite often I'll get comments on these qualities) but I don't completely get into little space unless I'm with my daddy.

[Guest SamBAMAAM]

I first would like to say I love your patience with her and how you reach out and ask these questions to truly understand. 

 

In hopes to help, I'll share my experience:

 

My husband and I began implementing the DDLG dynamic into our marriage within the last few months. At first, he was my only trigger as you put it and on busy adult days it is still the same. Having children can make it hard to stay in this mind frame because of course they come first and need adults in their lives to teach them and be the responsible one etc. and as a mom that always come first. I also work from home and so when working I tend to be in adult mode as well.  We have a fairly unspoken understanding that some times are just not the right time and set it aside. 

 

I personally can forget and find myself in little space when watching cartoons or different activities but it isn't a problem because it is very easy to snap out of when my Son needs an adult. 

 

To help with the struggle of staying in little space regularly, my daddy uses 3 different words that have different meanings to me when it is not just me and him or when he is not home. I won't be sharing what they are exactly but each word has an action that I've discovered helps achieve a little mind state. Maybe you can try asking her what she thinks might work for her. One of them means I am getting out of hand (See profile- I am a brat) and need to remember who is in charge, this word is also used when i'm breaking rules in public or essentially need to change a specific action for reasons related to our set DDLG rules. When I hear this word, I remember my rules and am able to take the opportunity to listen and be a good girl which for me is rewarding. It also helps achieve a more around the clock DDLG dynamic with rule enforcement being discreet around children and in public. There's two other words that he will use when he sees me in need of daddy, one of them is comforting and another one is just fun/kinky. 

 

Anyways, the three "command" words if that's what you want to call them are used by text or phone when he is not home and what not as gentle reminder and give me the opportunity to indulge in the lifestyle throughout the general day to day adult life as well.

 

Hope it helps! This is just how we do it, everyone is different.   

Edited March 10, 2018 by SamBAMAAM

[Guest aphroditelaughs]

I don't have children yet, but I'm also very stressed and busy so I relate. When you have lots of stress and things to think about it can be hard to give yourself permission to be little (I imagine it's harder when you have children). So for me, when my Daddy is around, I can relax and let myself be little. It's not that I don't enjoy coloring or cartoons without him, I just know that he's got everything under control and everything is okay.

[Guest BabyPeach]

My suggestion is to find ways to help her feel little when you aren't there.  You could get some "little" things like cute panties and cute socks......things that she can wear under her clothes that have a little vibe.  Text her sometime during the day and tell her how cute and adorable she looked in her panties that morning.  You could ask her to give you a peek of her little panties via text when your kid naps.  You could also ask for her to take a selfie of her cute little face and send it to you. Buy a bag of candy like Hershey kisses (hide them in your room, these are for her not the kids) and tell her she can ONLY have one when her Daddy (you, haha) texts her to find out if she's being a good girl and IF she's being good. Buy some coloring books, crayons, markers, etc. just for her (hide them in your room.....these are not for your kids, these are for little her.....they make adult coloring books too if she's more comfortable with that) and ask her to color you a picture while your kid naps. She can take a pic and send it to you or surprise you and show you when you get home.  Things like this can bring out little thoughts/triggers when you aren't physically there.  Of course, only do or suggest these things if you think she will be comfortable with it.

 

I'm little back and forth texting all day long with my Daddy even when I'm adulting at work.  If I see a cute stuffed animal while shopping during lunch, etc., I will text him and even if I can't text him I will still feel little inside.  Sometimes, if I'm just swinging my feet while sitting in my office chair, I feel little.  I have cute pens and a little stuffie on my desk. I'm a little who slips in and out of little space in my mind not just physically (though this is best when I can dress cute and have my paci and be alone with Daddy).  Daddy is definitely not my only trigger.

Edited March 13, 2018 by BabyPeach