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[Holly Gurl]

T Edited March 2, 2018 by Holly Gurl

[Guest Naturalselectionissexy]

Repress your feelings, wallow in resentment, or move on.

[Holly Gurl]

o Edited March 2, 2018 by Holly Gurl

[Guest daddy_zach]

This is just venting:

 

So I decided to talk to my long term bf about my feelings about BDSM... Explosion!

Couldn't have gone worse... I didn't even get to tell him all the stuff I had researched, the amazing people I've met or places we can go.

 

So... Now I have all these feelings and experiences that I want to build... But will never happen.

 

We are together a very long time and have built a life together... I just can't turn off my kink... Do I pretend I'm not into it anymore? Resentment much?

 

Venting over...

 

Try talking to him again Holly Gurl..

 

Perhaps he is just overwhelmed by your disclosure, and reacted badly ?

 

The two of you have history and a shared life. Obviously you both need to try and work through this.

Give him a little space and time to calm down. Then try talking again. He may even approach you to talk first.

 

Your interest in BDSM is obviously very important to you. Repressing it may not even be possible in the long-run.

And as it's part of you; it is something that needs to be addressed in your relationship.

 

When you do sit down to talk again; go slowly and easily with your boyfriend. Baby steps.

Be his guide in understanding BDSM and understanding you further. He may be simply scared of the unknown.

 

Don't despair..

I'm keeping my fingers crossed for a positive outcome.

[DaddysHands]

Review that convo n your head. Did he cut you off? Was there a point he seemed to dig in?

 

My first sub said she wasn't in to DDlg at all..but ended up leaving me for a misogynist daddy she cheated on me with. Be careful about WHEN people say things. Ask him just to sit and listen then speak his mind. This lifestyle is built on strong relationship principles, so maybe point that out.

 

Good luck, hope to see a follow up on here!

[xBabydollx]

u should def try to talk about it again. Do baby steps. Throwing a bunch of info on a person at once can be overwhelming. Focus on things they do or like that reflects things ppl do in this lifestyle, to gently open their mind to it. However, if this person have 0 interests in this lifestyle then there are things that can be done. If u are a little there are lots of self care things u can do to put ur self in littlespace and enjoy ur little side. If u are a Daddy/Mommy that can be a bit more difficult to express. If ur partner is open minded, platonic babysitters do exist. u can get someone to 'babysit' u while in little mode, generally taking care of u without any sexual or romantic strings. Or if u are Dominant, then u can babysit someone else to get ur 'Daddy/Mommy' fix of taking care of someone. If ur partner is super open minded, perhaps they will be interested in a poly dynamic where u can seek another to fully meet ur DD/lg needs sexually and romantically. If ur partner isn't open to the idea of polay or a platonic babysitter situation, and if u aren't content with only doing self care for littlespace, then that will be the time where u decide how important DD/lg is to u. Is it something u need to be happy? If so then u may decide to leave ur partner to find someone to match u. If u stay and u need it, then yes resentment will build and honestly that will be unfair to both parties as u can't help that u like this lifestyle and they can't help that they aren't interested. Why should u both suffer. As I mentioned, lots of roads can be taken, hopefully u can find one best for u where u can both be happy. If u talk about it more and they decide to give the dynamic a try, remember to slowly ease ur way into it as to not overwhelm them.