Some daddy’s want sex first

[PapabearNYC]

There is nothing wrong with sex coming about naturally, early on in a relationship.  But, I would definitely question the motives of anyone who expected it.  Some sexual predators go looking for littles, thinking they are easy prey.  A real daddy wants to take care of you and make you happy.  That can include sex right away, or it can mean developing a relationship first and then incorporating sex. 

 

Do not trust someone who expects sex.  Someone who thinks they are entitled to it.  That's a definite danger sign of a predator and potential rapist.

 

Believe me, there are plenty of Daddy's out there who have no such entitlement, and who will be happy to only incorporate sex into the relationship when the time is appropriate, whether that be after a day or a month.

[xBabydollx]

Some will give u a sexual task early on. Its up to u to do it or not. Some subs will happily accept even if it is day one. I said it above and I'll say it again, let ppl know what u do and don't want in the beginning. u seem to have a good grasp of who u are and ur desires, so next time lay ur cards on the table before things advance too far. If u are not willing to open ur mouth and let ur expectations, desires, and limits known in the beginning, then u shouldn't be surprised when confusion and misinterpretations happen later.

[Chi]

Good on you for having self respect !

don't put out, you also have needs and one of them is not having sex first, why should you fulfill their needs and they won't respect of fulfill yours?

[Guest Naturalselectionissexy]

Good on you for having self respect !

don't put out, you also have needs and one of them is not having sex first, why should you fulfill their needs and they won't respect of fulfill yours?

 

Based on all prior commentary this isn't a high five! you go girl for not having sex type of message string. This is the OP having very valid doubts regarding the intentions of the people that have engaged in conversation with her. Part of it is age, part of it is intent. The other part is how to avoid those types and where to find better matches. She further indicates that sex is welcome and wanted... just under the right circumstances. To which I'm certain we can all agree is more than fair. 

Edited March 3, 2018 by Letsgoforanadventure

[DaddyHudsonValleyNewYork]

I like sex too but I don't think you should be doing sexual tasks without getting to know someone.

I go with what psychologist Dr. Jordan Peterson says, "I don't know when men and women should or should not have sex but lets say, how about not on the first date"

 

Take your time and once you're both ready, go for it. It is a bit ridiculous to expect nudes from someone without even knowing their name.

[Guest Naturalselectionissexy]

I like sex too but I don't think you should be doing sexual tasks without getting to know someone.

I go with what psychologist Dr. Jordan Peterson says, "I don't know when men and women should or should not have sex but lets say, how about not on the first date"

 

Take your time and once you're both ready, go for it. It is a bit ridiculous to expect nudes from someone without even knowing their name.

I don't necessarily disagree with this but some people want to have sex... yes, even on the first date!

[Petitchat]

Sorry if some of us misunderstood you (and apparently angered you in doing so???). If I get it this time, the problem is not about wanting to have sex right away but about "daddies" setting sexual tasks under the ddlg pretense? If it's that, they are manipulative a**** who should be avoided at all cost, you're right.

[PinkiePie84]

a certain group of people exist in the kink world just as people who look to take advantage of people into different things. Submissive women are targeted a lot. Guys will post ads and ask everyone replying to do the same tasks. Dating sites are filled with guys who call themselves doms because they are looking for inexperienced submissive women they can get over on. its sad but true.

 

 also maybe related, I'm demisexual. which means I don't want to have sex with people until I get to know them a bit. It actually disgusts me when I think about having sex with people, even people who are attractive, know I don't know well. 

[DaddyHudsonValleyNewYork]

I don't necessarily disagree with this but some people want to have sex... yes, even on the first date!

Yeah if they want both want to, Go ahead. It isn't illegal

But from my point of view and Jordan's is that casual sex isn't conducive to forming meaningful healthy relationships. 

[Guest SUeB]

Good on you for having self respect !

don't put out, you also have needs and one of them is not having sex first, why should you fulfill their needs and they won't respect of fulfill yours?

So are you saying that if a girl wants to have sex early on, she has no self respect?

Oh dear. Not cool.

[DaddyHudsonValleyNewYork]

So are you saying that if a girl wants to have sex early on, she has no self respect?

Oh dear. Not cool.

Yeah

Did you not read this thread? She didn't do something she was comfortable with in order to please someone she barely knew. If she did it, she would have no self-respect.

 

No one in this thread cares about what you do and who you do it with. Don't take it personally.

Edited March 4, 2018 by DaddyHudsonValleyNewYork

[workhorse]

It’s kinda mean. And I don’t know what to do about it. On one hand it feels like because I never put out right away I’ll never find a good daddy dom. On the other... I have too much self respect. I’m EASY all things considered. Sex is a big part of my littleness.

 

Why do they think we need to put out?

How do you work around that?

 

Here is my thought... you need to define what type of daddy you are looking for? In my opinion, a daddy shouldn't "need" sex to be a daddy or even continue the relationship. That isn't the point of the role. It is a title that is earned by always being there for your little and taking care of them. Helping them and guiding them and even punishing them sometimes. Yes, sex is awesome and a fun part of the relationship...when everyone is ready for it. It might sound harsh little one, but maybe you need to raise your standards on who you want to be your daddy. It might take time, just like vanilla relationships, but it's worth it to get the right one. Daddies should help their littles and even encourage them... but never force their little to do something they aren't ready for... that isn't a real daddy.

[LittleGypsyGirl]

Here is my thought... you need to define what type of daddy you are looking for? In my opinion, a daddy shouldn't "need" sex to be a daddy or even continue the relationship. That isn't the point of the role. It is a title that is earned by always being there for your little and taking care of them. Helping them and guiding them and even punishing them sometimes. Yes, sex is awesome and a fun part of the relationship...when everyone is ready for it. It might sound harsh little one, but maybe you need to raise your standards on who you want to be your daddy. It might take time, just like vanilla relationships, but it's worth it to get the right one. Daddies should help their littles and even encourage them... but never force their little to do something they aren't ready for... that isn't a real daddy.

This makes me sad. But I think you might be right. Maybe my daddy doesn’t need to a sexual right away. Sex is a need for my little, but like callingnsomeone daddy it has to have meaning for me, or it’s worthless.

[workhorse]

Exactly. *head pats* I am sorry for making you sad. It is wonderful that you are seeing and coming to your own conclusions... I am always here if you need anything.

[Guest SUeB]

Yeah

Did you not read this thread? She didn't do something she was comfortable with in order to please someone she barely knew. If she did it, she would have no self-respect.

 

No one in this thread cares about what you do and who you do it with. Don't take it personally.

Who rattled your cage? The op has clearly stated on quite a few occasions that she wants sex, and possibly quite early. The quoted member made it sound like early sex meant you had no self respect.If they meant that someone going against their principles to get attention etc, then i will accept i misunderstood. And when did this have anything to do with me? Pretty sure the comment wasn't directed my way specifically.

[LittleGypsyGirl]

Yeah

Did you not read this thread? She didn't do something she was comfortable with in order to please someone she barely knew. If she did it, she would have no self-respect.

 

No one in this thread cares about what you do and who you do it with. Don't take it personally.

This all started because someone seems to think that self respect and sex don’t go together. I want sex. I don’t want to sexual task for someone who does not know my first time. There is a huge difference between right away sex the first date/ day and sex the first 5 minutes. Actually maybe it was 20.

[LittleGypsyGirl]

1) I never said I did NOT want sex. I said I did not want to do a sexual task for someone I just met who doesn’t know me aside from the ten sexual questions they asked me.

 

2) I most certainly want sex, hopefully the first day, if not at least the first week!

 

3) yes. Some people are ready to jump right into bed without knowing each other. But that means two things. A) you won’t know my limits or needs nor I yours and I don’t know you isn’t really as attractive as it sounds because I’m looking for a daddy or mommy. Not a one night stand.

[PapabearNYC]

Yeah if they want both want to, Go ahead. It isn't illegal

But from my point of view and Jordan's is that casual sex isn't conducive to forming meaningful healthy relationships. 

 

I would disagree with this statement.  I know many people with long term, meaningful healthy relationships that began with casual sex.  In fact, there is something to be said for learning your sexual chemistry and compatibility early on, rather than spending weeks or months together before you discover you don't have said chemistry.  

 

If you have a healthy, mature attitude about sex, then it can be a much better way to get to know someone than, say, going to a movie, museum, ice skating, or whatever date activity you may choose.