Some daddy’s want sex first

[LittleGypsyGirl]

It’s kinda mean. And I don’t know what to do about it. On one hand it feels like because I never put out right away I’ll never find a good daddy dom. On the other... I have too much self respect. I’m EASY all things considered. Sex is a big part of my littleness.

 

Why do they think we need to put out?

How do you work around that?

[DantesInferno86]

You don't need to put out. There are many men who use being a "daddy" or other kinks as a means for domination and sex. They act the part to get what they want. Be careful who you choose to let be your daddy.

[Guest BabyPeach]

Sex first?  Lol to any man who thinks he's getting sex before getting to know me by going on dates with me (and not just once or twice), etc.  I wouldn't be looking for a one night stand or a sex only relationship, EVER.  That just isn't me.  Don't compromise yourself for a man who is probably just trying to have a sex encounter and then run. Be patient.  It can be hard to find a partner in vanilla world, much less in the tiny niche of DDlg.

[Guest Mister Grey]

you don’t need to put out until your are damn good and ready to do so, no matter what he might say, what he wants, what ever warped logic he has it does not matter.  

 

Your body is your own.  If anyone cannot understand that, they are not worthy of your time or effort.

 

[Mikaitaku]

A hallmark of a fake daddy.

[LittleGypsyGirl]

 

you don’t need to put out until your are damn good and ready to do so, no matter what he might say, what he wants, what ever warped logic he has it does not matter.

 

Your body is your own. If anyone cannot understand that, they are not worthy of your time or effort.

He is a dom. Isn’t that duffeeent???

[Guest BabyPeach]

He is a dom. Isn’t that duffeeent???

 

No.  Just because a man is a dom does not mean he is your dom, especially at first.  Remember, YOU choose him and he then gets to know you if you'd like to know him further.  Before anyone is YOUR dom, they are just another human being.  You do NOT have to listen to random doms. Girl, no.

[CaresAlot]

Sex should always be because you want to.  Never should be because you have to.

Don't get caught up in the I need it or I'll find somebody else.  Or the I need to find out if we are compatible.  And I'm taking care of you, you need to take care of me.  Take the time to find out what each of you wants out of the relationship before sex becomes an issue.  A "real" Daddy is there to serve and protect, he is a CareGiver not a Little Taker.  What is freely given is not taken, but it has to be because you want to.  

[Guest Naturalselectionissexy]

Some littles want stuffies first. Should it be stuffies for stuffy? It's all negotiations and it's all about doing what ever you want to do. No reason to complicate or abide by societies "rules" or useless opinions.

[neworder]

Do as you would in a vanilla relationship. If a little has anxiety issues or something along those lines, I'd definitely allow more time than a vanilla relationship.

[Guest Arc]

Probably would have been better to put this under sex and health

 

Anyway.... go at your own pace. If they truly want you and want to have sex with you then they should see the wait as worth it to get what they want. You don't give up on things so easily if you truly want it. You work for it until you get it. 

[Guest SUeB]

Wanting sex early on is absolutely NOT the hallmark of a fake. Why does having a high sex drive mean fakery? Absolute nonsense. Master wanted sex early on, and He is the most decent, amazing Man this girl has ever known. He treats her better than she could have ever dreamed. He is also the epitome of a fabulous Daddy.

But to the actual thread. If you don't want sex, don't have it. Simple as. Men (and plenty of women too) will generally want a sexual relationship to start pretty quickly. Nothing wrong with that. But if they push for it, you simply move along and stay patient about meeting someone that has the same values as you, or at least understands and appreciates yours.

[Guest SUeB]

He is a dom. Isn’t that duffeeent???

This has literally nothing to do with it.

[xBabydollx]

There is nothing wrong with a Daddy, Sir, Master (whatever dynamic it is) wanting sex first or fairly quickly. There are lots of littles/subs/slaves etc who wants the same thing they do at the same pace as they do. There is nothing fake about it. If 2 ppl want to have sex after an hr, week, month, then its all good if that's what they both want. It's about compatibility. If u want someone who wants to go slow then find a Daddy who matches ur pace. How to work around the confusion? Open communication in the beginning. Let ppl know what u are looking for, what u expect, what u are and are not willing to do. Never assume u both want the same things. If they don't match u then move on, accepting that u are simply incompatible and not that either of u are fake. Some ppl will pretend to be interested in u for only sex, and they are indeed assholes, but u just have to pay attention to the signs like them pressuring u etc. There is a big difference between someone who wants sex early and someone who only prextends to like u for sex. One is an honest person capable of telling their desires, while the other is a dishonest person who hides their real desires under a mask of bullshit lol. Also, ofc, the biggest thing to this lifestyle is consent. If u don't want to do something, u don't have to, no matter what kind of Dom they are.

[DaddysHands]

It really isn't a some daddy issue. Some littles and subs DO go out of their way to give it up easily, so their the ones that expect it then! It just varies, person to person or maybe just the situation. Ignore it, and find what you want.

[Petitchat]

There is nothing wrong with wanting sex right away, and having sex before dating and everything, as long as both persons involved are on the same page and want the same thing. It's true in DDLG as it's true in "vanilla" relationships. I've been having plenty of "vanilla sex" before finding my current boyfriend (which was only supposed to be a sex friend, but we fell in love x) ). If you want to form a meaningful relationship with a Daddy before having sex, then it's your right, and they should respect it. There is a huge problem if they pressure you or try to manipulate to get it. But as they are honest about wanting sex first, you're simply not compatible and don't want the same things. The BDSM/DDLG aspect doesn't have anything to do with that. I'm sure you'll find someone with the same state of mind . 

 

But there's nothing wrong about being "easy". It's not a thing. If people have a problem with a woman who knows what she wants and is confident in her sexuality, then they're the problem. (same goes for men of course). If those people only want sex and are upfront about it and you don't, there's no dishonesty and you simply know you have to move on.

[Guest Looby-Lou]

Sex is a big part of my littleness.

 

 

 

 

Maybe this is accidentally causing some difficulties. Perhaps some guys are picking up on your sexuality and thinking you want some action.

So just be up front with people - yes, I'm very sexy and I love sex, but NO, I'm not ready to put that into action until we know each other better.

Edited March 2, 2018 by Looby-Lou

[LittleGypsyGirl]

A lot of you people seem to think I don’t want sex. Which is inaccurate. I want a long term daddy or caregiver. Someone telling me I have to complete sexual task for them when they don’t even know my name or anything about my Little isn’t cool.

 

My Little comes first even tho I have a masochistic submissive side. I’m cool with getting right down to the dirty, especially in person. But how can I be expected to send nudes of task when the only convo we had was basically sexual and finding out my kinks. Which is okay when trying to see if we fit. Then it should be finding out if I’m liked as a person.

 

Fuck anyone who says men have a high sex drive, I do too. I could stand to have sex 5+ times a day.

[LittleGypsyGirl]

Probably would have been better to put this under sex and health :)et it.

Omg I missed that you are right!

[LittleGypsyGirl]

Wanting sex early on is absolutely NOT the hallmark of a fake. Why does having a high sex drive mean fakery? Absolute nonsense. Master wanted sex early on, and He is the most decent, amazing Man this girl has ever known. He treats her better than she could have ever dreamed. He is also the epitome of a fabulous Daddy.

But to the actual thread. If you don't want sex, don't have it. Simple as. Men (and plenty of women too) will generally want a sexual relationship to start pretty quickly. Nothing wrong with that. But if they push for it, you simply move along and stay patient about meeting someone that has the same values as you, or at least understands and appreciates yours.

You say early on, the first conversation he gave you sexual task to complete? The very first one?

[Guest SUeB]

You say early on, the first conversation he gave you sexual task to complete? The very first one?

No, not at all. There was no talk of sex before we met face to face. But we had sex on the second date. And it wasn't a "task". That's how it works for this girl, and she is not saying any other way is wrong, but that's the point. If you're happy with something you do it. If you're not, you don't. Nobody should feel pressure to have sex, or follow any kind of rule or task, before they are ready to move to that point in the relationship.

[LittleGypsyGirl]

No, not at all. There was no talk of sex before we met face to face. But we had sex on the second date. And it wasn't a "task". That's how it works for this girl, and she is not saying any other way is wrong, but that's the point. If you're happy with something you do it. If you're not, you don't. Nobody should feel pressure to have sex, or follow any kind of rule or task, before they are ready to move to that point in the relationship.

Okay yeah. Lol this guy wanted me to follow his “task”. That’s what this whole post is about.

[Guest SUeB]

Yeah, that's total bs, lol. Stay away from dudes who talk rubbish like that. That's not the same as people wanting a sexual relationship early on, that's most usually just someone wanting to get their rocks off. Anyone demanding immediate submission knows nothing about any of this.

[LittleGypsyGirl]

Yeah, that's total bs, lol. Stay away from dudes who talk rubbish like that. That's not the same as people wanting a sexual relationship early on, that's most usually just someone wanting to get their rocks off. Anyone demanding immediate submission knows nothing about any of this.

That’s what I thought. I wish I knew what to do to prevent myself from finding those guys. If it’s actually a relationship I want sex early on too.

[Guest Mister Grey]

Thats what it comes down too and basically the point most are making; if YOU want sex then go on and get it on and get as much as you want with a willing partner, but if its not something you want at that moment, then he simply has to wait.

 

Its not about the high sex drive or low sex drive or he’s a Dom, a Daddy or President of the island where they breed hot guys, its all about your right to choose when you are ready and willing.

 

I want sex right now, that doesn’t mean every girl around me in this office should fall on their back, spread eagle.

 

You simply do not have to do anything you don’t want to do with your body.  Kink relationships are about what both people want.  We choose the parameters of how we interact.  IMO, I have always found that the most successful kink relationships have more honest communication than vanilla relationships