AAAAAAAAAAA this is my story

[Allen248]

 alright I just realized a month ago that im a daddy because the girl i was with discovered she was a little we have been together 10 yrs w kids not married but heres the catch i had a affair 6 years ago with hurt her so a month ago she said she wanted to break up and then she left for the night came back the next day wanted to act like nothing happened so im thinking i hurt her so i had it coming whatever but she wants to run off with whoever whenever and im suppose to be ok with it so we still live together im getting me back in order now exploring what makes me happy but she wants to move out and at this point im feeling why not you aint making me happy. so im pretty stressed out but it will be all good in the end everything happens for a reason and thats the short and sweet version of how i got here. the part that really gets me is that she was sneaking around and lieing for 2 years before she even told me she was a little. even though im a daddy and she is a little we dont have that dynamic because of the previous "vanilla" relationship and her being a little for two years without me knowing idk  but thats the jist of it any advice would be appreciated 

Edited March 1, 2018 by allen246

[neworder]

The kids. There’s going to be some bad vibes staying together. Leaving, she can weaponize the kids against you. Unless abuse is involved, staying together is usually better for their development. Have you been to professional council IG where you have a mediator?

[Guest SweetPurpleCherry]

Ok... i really think you should put an end to this relationship, for your children's sake. Don't forget that no matter how old they can be, they witness everything happening between you & your girl.

 

Besides, you were mentionning you cheated 6y ago. Did you have a calm, cold-blooded conversation about it? Did you take the time to fully listen to her grief, about how hurt she felt, and did you take time to explain her why you cheated, or at least did you honestly answered to her questions about it?

I think it's unhealthy for you to accept that she could cheat on you just because "you did it first". This is not a contest!

 

If she decided to stay and pretend she completely forgave you, then you just should open the door wide and let her go. Forgiving doesn't mean forgetting but still, there is a line she crossed.

 

I also think that she "lied" about her being a lg because it's not easy to open up about such things, most particularly if she has no clue about you being turn on by DDlg relationships ;-) i'm not really sure it's a big lie though, because she seems like having felt betrayed once. She probably needed time to build back a trustful relationship with you... i don't think your "vanilla" background has anything to do with your actual dynamic.

To be honest, i think she just lost any sense of respect towards you. She knows you're hurt and won't do anything to make things better for you, or your relationship.

I'd recommend you to try to have a real, long, deep conversation with her. Take your time, even if it lasts 2 days & nights. Listen, speak up, and if you can't find any way to agree on building a new relationship together... then break up.

Edited March 14, 2018 by SweetPurpleCherry