DDLG Breakup

[nenitababy11]

Hello, as of now I am very new to the community. I just recently got out of my first DDLG relationship. I think I knew for a while that I was a Little, I just never admitted it to myself because of all the scrutiny the community faced. Now, I had been in relationships before. Non-DDLG of course. That being said, when I had begun dating (we'll call him J) J, he explained to me that he had been in a DDLG relationship with his last girlfriend. Then, I opened up and told him about me and how I had never been in a DDLG relationship, but that I knew deep down the entire time that I was a Little. After this, we took the plunge and our relationship began. Rules, punishments, rewards, etc. were all part of our relationship and it was all very new to me. As time went by, obviously it became easier for me to fall into my little space and let my walls down which honestly helped me fall in love with J. I had fallen in love with him. It was unlike any relationship I had before. I could feel it in my chest that he and I were something more. He was so loving and truly, one of the best daddies a girl could wish for. Then very recently, we had a falling out because he had gone to a party and ended up kissing a girl I didn't quite get along with. They had precious history and it was on a dare from the rest of the party goers, but obviously, both sides of me were very hurt. That's when I knew that we couldn't continue. We had already started falling apart but that was the last straw and so he called it off saying that he loved me, but it was for the best to go our separate ways. Now, I think this hurts more than any Vanilla relationship ever did. I think that this is because I had trusted him and there is this certain sense of safety that you gain with your Dom and honestly, it hurts and feels like a pit because he's not there. It's like there's something missing and I'm not sure how to deal with it. I don't know how to get over this breakup... 

[Guest BabyPeach]

I'm sorry you're going through this.  I know what it's like because I've been there too.  It will take time.  A regular break up is hard enough, but losing a Daddy is devastating.  There's no magic words to make getting over it faster, you just have to through the feelings until you heal.  Just like any break up.....take it one day at a time, spend time with friends, pamper yourself and little you, stay busy, etc.  It's harder because not only is your partner gone, the person who took care of little you is also gone.  Just remember that it's okay to be little and not have a caregiver.  Let yourself heal before finding a new one.

[Gabrielleandbooley]

Today my Daddy ended things with me. I’ve never been in this type of relationship before. I was cautious when it started because I was afraid to open up too much. However my daddy wanted me to open so I did. What I realized was that my little suffered from some deep insecurities. My daddy couldn’t handle that part of me. He only want little me during play time and caring for the other aspects of my little needs was not something he wanted to do. I feel really scared becaue I didn’t even realize how much I needed a daddy until now. I’m worried no other daddy’s will want me. I found this site to try and find some support. Big me is a boss business woman and has a very high pressure career. I’m afraid to turn my back on my little side or that something is wrong with me.

[nenitababy11]

Today my Daddy ended things with me. I’ve never been in this type of relationship before. I was cautious when it started because I was afraid to open up too much. However my daddy wanted me to open so I did. What I realized was that my little suffered from some deep insecurities. My daddy couldn’t handle that part of me. He only want little me during play time and caring for the other aspects of my little needs was not something he wanted to do. I feel really scared becaue I didn’t even realize how much I needed a daddy until now. I’m worried no other daddy’s will want me. I found this site to try and find some support. Big me is a boss business woman and has a very high pressure career. I’m afraid to turn my back on my little side or that something is wrong with me.

I relate. I think though, after a couple of days of deep thought and reflection, I realized I need to figure out my little side and explore it, with no shame to my heart's content so that way, I can move forward. Don't get me wrong, big me and little me are hurting in a way I had never felt before, but now I know that after my first time in this kind of relationship, I can get to know myself as a little better. If he didn't take care of you as a Daddy should darling, he wasn't a true Daddy. He took advantage of your heart and that's ok. We can support each other 

[nenitababy11]

I'm sorry you're going through this.  I know what it's like because I've been there too.  It will take time.  A regular break up is hard enough, but losing a Daddy is devastating.  There's no magic words to make getting over it faster, you just have to through the feelings until you heal.  Just like any break up.....take it one day at a time, spend time with friends, pamper yourself and little you, stay busy, etc.  It's harder because not only is your partner gone, the person who took care of little you is also gone.  Just remember that it's okay to be little and not have a caregiver.  Let yourself heal before finding a new one.

I think I will, thank you. After a couple of days of thinking, I have decided to get to know myself as a little before finding a new caregiver. 

[Gabrielleandbooley]

Thank you for replying. No, I don’t think he was a real daddy. I think he liked it during play time, but didn’t have the emotional space to be my full time daddy. This has helped me understand my little side so much. I am working to find ways to personally honor and love little me. I hope one day I find an amazing and loving daddy and I know you will too!

[Guest Looby-Lou]

I'm sorry you're both hurting, remember it won't last forever and you'll come out of it stronger. I think you're both really brave to continue getting to know your little selves, because the more you understand yourself, the better your relationship will be when you do meet the right Daddy for you.

 

Thank you for sharing your stories, because it's really helped me.  I'm not in your position, but I'm scared I will be, and your stories have helped me to believe in myself and that I'll cope if it happens.

 

Wishing you both wonderful futures, and in the meantime, sending lots of little but warm hugs to your both xxoo

[Guest mrfahrenheit451]

 I am working to find ways to personally honor and love little me.

This is a good start to figuring it all out. Balance was always my best approach, for little stuff, big stuff and everything in between. Sometimes it just takes time to find the right person who can balance with you. 

 

 

[workhorse]

First... the adult part... These relationships can be more intimate and connected than any "vanilla" relationship. With the right partner you can really dive deep into who you are and why you do what you do. Digging into that much of your past and programming can form bonds. Doing some soul searching on your part could be good. Finding a daddy that is understanding and willing to help you through this could work too. Unfortunately there is no "right" answer. I suggest you do what feels best, lil one. 

 

Second... The little part... Feelings of insecurity can be terrifying but don't let them get you down. You are worth it princess and you will find another daddy. Someone that will help you through the feelings of insecurity and be there for you all the time, not just for play time.