Don’t know what to do.

[Lizychu]

Me and my daddy live together, he’s 28 and I’m 20. We’ve been together for over a year and currently engaged. When we first got together and we talked about DDLG he was extremely into it, he said it’s the type of relationship hes been searching for, and that he wanted to be my daddy and boyfriend. Well in the past few months he hasn’t been into it at all. He’s gotten a lot more aggressive during sex, doesn’t even try to bring my little side out, he’s started arguing with me more. It’s been 2 weeks since he’s had sex with me and I feel like I’m not worth it anymore. I’ll admit I put on a lot of weight, but in the past 2 months I’ve lost 20lbs and he keeps telling me I look great, but he won’t even touch me. During the day it seems fine, I get texts, calls, he makes sure my day is going well, and when I get home he’s excited to see me. But for some reason around 10pm he starts ignoring me. Yesterday I spent the entire day cleaning and moving stuff because our room mate moved out, i did all the laundry, grocery shopping, and cooked dinner. When I finally sat down at the end of the day he seemed distant and angry with me, I don’t know why! I felt like I hadn’t seen him most of the day because he was busy too, so I wanted to spend some time with him. He turned the tv on and put a movie on so I got excited he was going to cuddle me and watch the movie with me. Instead he turned it on and then went to our room and went to bed, no goodnight kiss or hug, no I love you. Nothing. Being little is a stress reliever for me and he knows how stressed I’ve been, I want to bring it up but every time I try and talk about my feelings he turns it on me and I end up being the bad guy and apologizing. I’m sick of waiting for him to fall asleep so I can go on the couch and cry. Any help?

[XmochiX]

Yeah, that thing where he "turns things around you and makes it your fault" is called gaslighting and is a form of emotional abuse.

 

BIG red flag.

[Lizychu]

I talked to him about gaslighting me and he told me he was sorry and that he just gets defensive. I’m gonna talk to him about it again because I’m truly in love with him and we’re best friends. Like if we didn’t date we would be best friends no matter what because we just get each other. I know he’s not cheating, his ex wife cheated on him and he despises cheaters. So I feel like I’m the only thing that could be the problem.

[Allen248]

this is just my silly opinion but he might of jumped into the "daddy" role because  he likes that type of sex and overlooked the actual kink of it. for me i didnt discover ddlg and think can i be a daddy i never had to ask "what does a daddy do" when i discovered it i was like omg im a daddy but the problem was i wasnt with a little so my flood of attention and unconditional love was always met with disrespect and in the end i always look bad because i was the one getting angry im like of course im pissed off im being disrespected dont you get mad at the same things  

[Allen248]

if my little aint smiling im failing its that simple

[xBabydollx]

Maybe he was interested in DD/lg and after actually trying it/living it, realized it wasn't for him? It's not uncommon to like the idea of something then later realize u don't like the reality of it. It's also a possibility that his sex drive could be low rn, or may be cheating. There are lots of 'possibilities' for why he may be acting the way he is and only 1 way to get to the bottom of it. u have to communicate with him. It's def not a good sign that he tries to switch everything on u, but its not always because ppl are trying to be abusive or manipulative, many ppl just genuinely lack communication skills. If u want to fix this issue tho u will have to push through and find a way to communicate with him. If u struggle with vocolazing ur concerns then u can try writing a letter for him to read or create a blog and post ur thoughts and feelings there so he can read that. If both of those fail there is always professional help u can receive like couple counseling or other forms of therapy. There are even therapist who specialize with ppl that are into BDSM and live these sorts of lifestyles. If this is someone u plan to marry it would be wise to try to find a way to better communicate with each other in general as no relationship survives when a couple can't communicate well.

[Lizychu]

that’s the thing! He is a natural daddy he told me a few months after we had been dating that it was natural for him and it was! He took to it like a fish to water! So him neglecting me feels like it’s on purpose.

[Lizychu]

xBabydollx, thank you. I’ll try and write him a letter. We talked about fixing the relationship and it almost ended. But we still love each other very much, he told me he still wants to marry me and have kids in a few years, he still wants to live with me and I’m still his soul mate but he thinks we’re in different places because he goes to school and I work full time. he wanted me to work and go to school but I just couldn’t do it. I feel like our ddlg relationship might be over but our other one isn’t.

 

It’s making me extremely sad.

[xBabydollx]

Its good to be aware that not everyone wants or is capable of living a 24/7 dynamic. Being a Daddy can be stressful or overwhelming at times. It is quite possible he may not be in that headspace lately/need a break which is ok. If that is the case, it may be helpful for u to research suggestions on self care to help with ur littlespace while he can not. If ur DD/lg dynamic truly is over or he's 'over it' then I hope it is something u can live with and still be happy. Hopefully the letter idea will help u both and u can get to the bottom of things then finally be on the same page to find a solution.

[Lizychu]

xBabydollx I hope so, I only think it’s over because it’s been 6 months since I was little and that was before he had a job and before he was going to school. At the time I was working 2 jobs and was stressed and he mentioned it to me. So we were daddy and baby girl for a few days straight. That was the last time it felt like he really really cared about me. I think I’m being emotional and am just scared because my last daddy/boyfriend abandoned me and never talked to me again. I really don’t want that to happen and I don’t want to push the love of my life away.

[xBabydollx]

I understand how stressful that coupd be for u and then u needing that littlespace to help with it. Its good to think about it from his perspective too tho. Working and going to school can be stressful, then adding being the caregiver to someone can be more overwhelming. I just wouldn't be surprised if it was why he been so distant with it all lately. Its only one way to find out for sure tho and it is to ask him lol

[Allen248]

He has to have other daddy's to talk to NOBODY understands what it's like you have to be a daddy to understand a daddy

[Lizychu]

[Lizychu]

And he’s only going to school right now and he’s home a lot of the time he goes early in the morning and does all his classes. and when he was working before he went to school, he was only working 3 days a week and one of the days was a half day, so I don’t know why he was doing it then either.