Venting but im alright in the end

[Nix]

    Ever feel those days when your so mad, so hyped, so jealous the anger the frustration the feeling of not being able to do anything overwhelms you? I need a place to rant where parents and family cant see. As a daddy i cant stand seeing my little girl unhappy but not just unhappy...broken sad crying in pain with no one to help. I go through old Instagram photos and see people who made her happy and realize that isn't me. I cant tell her any of this because i don't want to make it about me and i don't want her to feel any worse then she already does. Will i ever be enough? will i ever make her happy? Its hard knowing i would die for her but i barely know if she actually loves me. says she does acts like it...but she still feels alone...she still feels unwanted...I'm not in pain or hurt, i'm used to that shit its nothing. I have to be the stronger one. I'M mad that I cant do anything and i'm mad i don't make her feel special or different. She says she loves me and things are different but yet she tells me that she feels unwanted and unloved that the pain of feeling alone is still there, and all i can think is what am i then? She opened up to me last night about the way she thinks sometimes, and now im left wondering are we still ok? do things go back to normal? do we have to stop certain things? whats changed? My baby girl is my world, and all i know is ill never stop fighting for her never stop praying for her, never give up and never stop loving her, even when it sucks...but thats what daddy's do.

 

Is everything back to normal now? I don't know how to ask. She pushes me away...by not talking to me, by not wanting to hear me. She loves talking to everyone but me ...She still ahsnt sorted things out with her boyfriend but yet want to go on talking with other people...makes me feel special...

 

Just to clarify this is just a ranting post, so i'm not looking for help ill be fine and i know that for sure.

Edited February 22, 2018 by nixstormz