Wanting a Family as a Little

[Guest Kitkat47756]

I have always wanted a family. I get really bad baby fever frequently, and Daddy does too. He says we're not ready for a baby, and I know he's right, but it hurts really badly. I cry about it all the time now. I want to give Daddy the baby he's wanted since he was young. I know it isn't the right time but I don't know what to do to make me feel better. I know it upsets Daddy to see me so distraught over it. I think it kinda makes him uncomfortable, too, because even though he wants one I want one a lot more. Do any other littles get baby fever? If you do, how do you manage it if you can't act on it? And Daddies/Mommies, do you think you'd still want to be your little's Daddy when she was pregnant or had a newborn, or would it damage your ability to care for her when you had a child to care for?  Thanks you!

[littlefemmenist]

i really want kids, too, but i don't know that i can fully relate since i don't have a mommy to have them with. are there any babies in your family? when my niece was born, i kinda poured a lot of my energy into her and it made me feel a little better about not having a space to be little and not having a partner to have a baby with. i know i'm way far away from being ready to have kids, but it's still something i think about.

 

maybe there's another way for you to get your baby fix, is what i'm saying. and also try talking to your daddy about how he's feeling/how you're feeling because it would be really sad if you thought you were hurting him by being upset and he didn't feel that way at all.

[XmochiX]

I can tell you from my own experience that trying to pressure someone into having a baby will ruin your relationship. I'm not saying that that is what you are doing. Its just that how your Daddy might feel if all you talk about is how much you want a baby.

 

I agree with the poster above that all you probably need is a distraction. When I was like this, I coped by adopting a pet. Well, pets actually. I think if you live in a place that allows animals, adopting a cat or dog will be a helpful distraction until you reach a point in life in which you are ready to have children of your own. If cats and dogs are not allowed, then I would suggest a caged pet like a hamster or possibly an aquarium

Contrary to popular fish make great pets and require a lot of care, which I think could help you take your mind off things.

[Guest aphroditelaughs]

I can tell you from my own experience that trying to pressure someone into having a baby will ruin your relationship. I'm not saying that that is what you are doing. Its just that how your Daddy might feel if all you talk about is how much you want a baby.

I agree with the poster above that all you probably need is a distraction. When I was like this, I coped by adopting a pet. Well, pets actually. I think if you live in a place that allows animals, adopting a cat or dog will be a helpful distraction until you reach a point in life in which you are ready to have children of your own. If cats and dogs are not allowed, then I would suggest a caged pet like a hamster or possibly an aquarium

Contrary to popular fish make great pets and require a lot of care, which I think could help you take your mind off things.

I agree with all of this.

 

Babies are hard. Really hard. While it's absolutely possible to be a parent and be into DDlg, babies (especially newborns) take every bit of your energy and time (and sometimes your sanity). Wanting children is fine, but it's absolutely crucial all parties are on board and mentally prepared for a family. You can't go back once you bring a new life into the world.

 

DDlg stuff (and other kinks) may (most likely will) get put on hold. And your feelings about being a little might change too. A lot to consider.

Edited March 6, 2018 by aphroditelaughs

[littlefemmenist]

I can tell you from my own experience that trying to pressure someone into having a baby will ruin your relationship. I'm not saying that that is what you are doing. Its just that how your Daddy might feel if all you talk about is how much you want a baby.

 

I agree with the poster above that all you probably need is a distraction. When I was like this, I coped by adopting a pet. Well, pets actually. I think if you live in a place that allows animals, adopting a cat or dog will be a helpful distraction until you reach a point in life in which you are ready to have children of your own. If cats and dogs are not allowed, then I would suggest a caged pet like a hamster or possibly an aquarium

Contrary to popular fish make great pets and require a lot of care, which I think could help you take your mind off things.

 

that's true, mochi! i am a puppy mama too, which i didn't even really consider. also, pets are great in general

[Guest littlegirl707]

Well i have had three girls and i love my kids yes its hard but if you really want them you put you aside for a couple of years and when your older you shut the door. Having kids is amazing love. I would lay down my life for my kids. You can still be little its just alot less but that time will come and it all gets fiqured out theres a balance

[Panda God]

Imma just say that I agree with Mochi about pets being helpful. Lots of people have commented that I treat my kitten like a baby, and that's because she is. I've had her since she was a week and a half old, so I got to pour all of my baby fever induced energy into her. I was in a similar situation to you, and she helped me a lot.

[Guest littleloveslars]

Speaking from personal experience-

 

I am a married little with 2 children. When our older child was younger she developed a serious illness, and I wanted a baby very badly, but we wanted to focus on the older child, so we adopted a puppy instead.

The puppy was a great distraction and helped me a lot.

 

Once our older child was well, we decided to get pregnant. We successfully navigated the pregnancy while still living a modified Ddlg and D/s lifestyle. It is entirely possible to maintain a non vanilla lifestyle while pregnant and also with kids, but it takes a lot of effort and patience.

 

The other posters are right- having children is not something to take lightly. It is so much more than a cute little baby. Your body changes, sometimes permanently, you sleep less, your stress levels go way up, and your time for your partner dramatically decreases. And pregnancy itself is super challenging. Make a plan, set some goals, and see if you're both ready down the road.

[cutelittlevixey]

As a married little with 4 kids i am going to chime in as well.

 

Daddy and i carried through my 1st pregnancy with DD/lg still in place (Daddy read me stories before i took naps, etc).

When my baby was born, my entire world changed. my new identity as a mother, my new responsibilities, getting used to staying home instead of having a job, adjusting to body changes.... there was a lot!

 

It was a magical and wonderful time in my life, buuuuuuttttt.... DD/lg and M/s got largely pushed aside. It was SO HARD for me to feel little now that i was a mother all day every day. Daddy was still very caring and protective, but it was hard for Him to see me that way, too.

 

Granted, i kink-shamed myself so much over how much i love DD/lg, so this taints my experience. But i sat for YEARS waiting and hoping Daddy would want to reactivate DD/lg. He did revive M/s in a big way when i was pregnant with baby #3. i LOVED this! But DD/lg sat tucked away in a trunk. i missed it, but in order to be His perfect slave and, in my mind, earn His love and desire and admiration, i threw myself into the adult slave role.

 

Shortly before my 4th baby was born He was suddenly Daddy again and M/s was more sidelined. i was ECSTATIC!! Having Daddy support me through my birth process was magical. i felt like i finally had what i wanted.

 

As the months went by He began to taper it off and i finally broke down and told Him that i needed DD/lg again. He said He had only felt Daddy-ish toward me because i was so vulnerable at the end of the pregnancy. It all but broke my heart to hear that. He did say He would try to bring His feelings back around to it and it took over the course of a year to get there.

 

Now W/we are technically DD/lg and yet i still feel this shadow of guilt over asking Him to do this again and shame over wanting it in the first place. Those are my issues and i AM working on them, but it has been difficult at times.

 

Soooo sorry to get all long-winded! my long and winding tale is here as a peek at the unexpected path my kink life took when i had a baby.

In retrospect, i should.have been more up front with Daddy all along. my intense self-worth issues and communication blocks caused this. i didn't have the ability to be that raw and open i guess.

 

Keeping the lines of communication active is critical!!! Babies change your entire life. Nearly every corner of it is altered in some way.

 

i am so grateful for my kids. They mean the world to me. However, in the depths of my sadness when Daddy initially had trouble getting back to DD/lg, i almost (only almost) wished i hadn't taken the motherhood path. It is one of the biggest decisions you will make about your personal life as well as the direction your relationship heads.

 

Great outcomes are always possible, but they may not come easily and curve balls can arise.

[Little Illy]

I have wanted a child since I was 8 years old, and even more so when I was told I, more than likely, cannot have them at age 22. Daddy doesn't want children, but me? I see a baby and tears threaten to come to my eyes because I want something so badly.

 

Daddy and I have discussed this issue but I came to the conclusion early, early on that because of Daddy's feelngs and my medical problems, it is better to not have children (Daddy did say we could adopt! ), but it is still hard. However, a small thing that has happed is exactly what yall are talking about; the dynamic and motherhood. 

 

The sheer thought of Daddy calling our child his "baby" or "baby girl" or "sweetheart" actually makes me feel icky inside (totally a ME thing and not a Daddy or Dynamic thing). I didn't ever want to hear Daddy call someone else that and I am afraid it will be the same even with our children. Don't get me wrong, I don't think I would even have jealousy or resentment towards my own child, I would be glowing in the fact that I would be a Mommy. However, I have been waiting so long to be happy and being with Daddy as his little girl makes be at peace, and I don't think I'd really be ready to let that aspect of my life go. I have been searching and searching for my compatible mate and now that things are amazing, I don't think I would be ready for that change. 

 

Then again, this is all speculation - what would probably happen is that we would have a baby and everything would be amazing (Daddy would make an amazing Father, he just doesn't know it). I will never push that onto my Daddy though, I realize he has many VALID and legit points on not wanting children and it wouldn't be fair of me to foist that off on him.

 

My reality is that motherhood probably isn't in the cards for me and I am slowly growing to accept this. And though I am coming to terms with it, the baby fever does not go away. Any baby I see, pang to the heart. Any child, isntant yearning. Any Mommy and Me things, desperate need. I know this aching, and those who have never truly felt it would not understand how strong the pull is. But you have to remember, it is not just YOU in the equation and if your Daddy isn't ready, giving him what YOU think is best, is not the way to go. You need to listen to his WORDS and not your EMOTIONS with something like this. Of course you need to listen to what your heart is telling you, but not without his consent. And especially not something as life changing as a baby.

 

I really feel for you, and I know how frustrating it can be. Listen to everyone above me, get a pet! I made Daddy promise me one thing (in regards to the enitre childbearing debate) and that is I get a pack of dogs whenever I want (as long as it is financially and spatially responsible). He cannot limit them and we will ALWAYS have a pack. And my heart feels okay with this. I know it isn't the same, but it is very beneficial. For me (ME - not giving medical advice to ANYONE else here), my therapists said I needed a service dog after I received the news of me not being able to have kids. She said it will help the transition. I never got one, sadly. But the moment she said something I saw the absolute merit in her words. Discuss it with your Daddy, a pet is a wonderful compromise. It can be a very healthy and helpful chapter in your life. And I do wish you the best in it.

[Guest littleloveslars]

I have wanted a child since I was 8 years old, and even more so when I was told I, more than likely, cannot have them at age 22. Daddy doesn't want children, but me? I see a baby and tears threaten to come to my eyes because I want something so badly.

 

Daddy and I have discussed this issue but I came to the conclusion early, early on that because of Daddy's feelngs and my medical problems, it is better to not have children (Daddy did say we could adopt! ), but it is still hard. However, a small thing that has happed is exactly what yall are talking about; the dynamic and motherhood.

 

The sheer thought of Daddy calling our child his "baby" or "baby girl" or "sweetheart" actually makes me feel icky inside (totally a ME thing and not a Daddy or Dynamic thing). I didn't ever want to hear Daddy call someone else that and I am afraid it will be the same even with our children. Don't get me wrong, I don't think I would even have jealousy or resentment towards my own child, I would be glowing in the fact that I would be a Mommy. However, I have been waiting so long to be happy and being with Daddy as his little girl makes be at peace, and I don't think I'd really be ready to let that aspect of my life go. I have been searching and searching for my compatible mate and now that things are amazing, I don't think I would be ready for that change.

 

Then again, this is all speculation - what would probably happen is that we would have a baby and everything would be amazing (Daddy would make an amazing Father, he just doesn't know it). I will never push that onto my Daddy though, I realize he has many VALID and legit points on not wanting children and it wouldn't be fair of me to foist that off on him.

 

My reality is that motherhood probably isn't in the cards for me and I am slowly growing to accept this. And though I am coming to terms with it, the baby fever does not go away. Any baby I see, pang to the heart. Any child, isntant yearning. Any Mommy and Me things, desperate need. I know this aching, and those who have never truly felt it would not understand how strong the pull is. But you have to remember, it is not just YOU in the equation and if your Daddy isn't ready, giving him what YOU think is best, is not the way to go. You need to listen to his WORDS and not your EMOTIONS with something like this. Of course you need to listen to what your heart is telling you, but not without his consent. And especially not something as life changing as a baby.

 

I really feel for you, and I know how frustrating it can be. Listen to everyone above me, get a pet! I made Daddy promise me one thing (in regards to the enitre childbearing debate) and that is I get a pack of dogs whenever I want (as long as it is financially and spatially responsible). He cannot limit them and we will ALWAYS have a pack. And my heart feels okay with this. I know it isn't the same, but it is very beneficial. For me (ME - not giving medical advice to ANYONE else here), my therapists said I needed a service dog after I received the news of me not being able to have kids. She said it will help the transition. I never got one, sadly. But the moment she said something I saw the absolute merit in her words. Discuss it with your Daddy, a pet is a wonderful compromise. It can be a very healthy and helpful chapter in your life. And I do wish you the best in it.

In regards to the part about your Daddy calling your children pet names- its completely different with them than it is with me. I adore seeing him with our girls, and for me, there is no pang of jealousy or ickyness. I really dont feel any guilt or shame for being little, and even though I am a sexual little, there is a huge difference between being a DD and a father. Daddy knows this, and so do I. Which is why he is free to love on the kids without any thought to our dynamic. Just wanted to share this in case it is a deciding factor in having or adopting children. Hugs.

[Little Illy]

In regards to the part about your Daddy calling your children pet names- its completely different with them than it is with me. I adore seeing him with our girls, and for me, there is no pang of jealousy or ickyness. I really dont feel any guilt or shame for being little, and even though I am a sexual little, there is a huge difference between being a DD and a father. Daddy knows this, and so do I. Which is why he is free to love on the kids without any thought to our dynamic. Just wanted to share this in case it is a deciding factor in having or adopting children. Hugs.

 

Oh absolutely. I know, logically, it will be fine, but right now, emotionally, I am just not ready  

 

I don't want anyone to think that what I said is normal. I know PLENTY of Littles who are Mothers and Fathers, and they are all happy and healthy. I know it takes a ton of work. I just don'tthink I am prepared for it right now...

[Sparklefrosting]

Maybe you could try babysitting small children and or babies to get a feel for the amount of responsibility and energy involved in having a child of your own and it could help pacify your baby fever.

[Guest BabyPeach]

I had my son when I was 23.  Even though I love my son more than life itself, there's a reason why people wait these days until their 30's to have children.  By that time, you will know that your relationship is stable enough for children.  I was with my son's father for only 3 years after my son was born (2 years prior to that....so a total of 5 years).  After that, we split up.  Fortunately for me, my sister and I moved in together and combined our incomes.  I can't imagine having to raise a baby on a single income as a single parent.  My point is that you are still very young and though you think your relationship is going to last forever, few usually do.  You need to be in an extremely long term, stable relationship and both have solid careers (children are expensive from day one through college.....it never stops, it just changes), a house, reliable transportation for both of you and savings BEFORE you consider having children.  Taking care of a baby is HARD and it is 24/7.  It isn't all sunshine and rainbows and roses (and I have a very good child).  It's best to wait unit you've gained more emotional maturity before even considering taking on that responsibility.  You are young! Enjoy being young together and leave the babies for later.  You're only 18.  There's no rush and there's no need to cry about it. All in good time.  Relax and enjoy your relationship.

Edited April 12, 2018 by BabyPeach

[Little Illy]

You're only 18.  There's no rush and there's no need to cry about it. All in good time.  Relax and enjoy your relationship.

 

 Um... did NOT see she was only 18.

 

.... please, please, please listen to Peach. She is 100% right.

 

The reason WHY I never tried having children, even though it has literally been killing me to have one, is because of stability. You have SO MUCH LIFE LEFT. I know it is such a strong pull, but Peach is 100% accuret - live your life and let Mommy-hood come a little bit later.

 

Having a baby young means nothing negative, but it IS harder to handle just because you have so much growing up to do (we ALLLLLL do at 18). And having a baby while trying to figure out the world is totally difficult. 

[Guest littleloveslars]

I would take age related advice with a grain of salt. While i agree that yes, you do have a ton of time, only you know when the time is right. You are responsible enough to know, and have stated, that the time isnt right for you. You do you, ultimately it is your life!