"You're So Lucky"

[Little Illy]

*waves* Hello everyone, I have finally decided to post my little rant about how everyone attributes luck to having a partner. This piece is my personal opinion. And I am not saying I have the correct view point, but rather am trying to see if I am the only one who feels this way. Does anyone get this initial reaction or is it just me?

 

Okay... so...

 

Daddy and I have been together for 14-15 months now and I have never worked so hard in a relationship in my life. Daddy and I were LDR and now I have finally moved in, but those months as LDR were the most difficult I've ever had to deal with. We worked through more difficult times during our LDR than I've ever had to endure in an IRL relationship. It was tough, but definitely worth it.

 

Daddy and I met in 2016 and I was 25 at the time (just turned 25, actually). I had been searching for a D/s relationship since I was 18 and had been searching for a DDlg relationship since I was 20. I had tried IRL, I had gone to many, many... many *shudder* .... many sites on the internet to try to find a D/s and/or DDlg partner, and a community really. I never tried to force things and I was always up front and honest that I wanted my Forever Partner. I was ghosted, catfished, led on, lied to, threatened, stalked and so on. All in hopes that I'd find him. 

 

So why am I telling you all of this? Why do you care? Well, I don't expect you to care, but I just have to know... am I the only one who always gets:

 

"You're so lucky to have this happen for you,"

"You're so lucky that you are now taken care of,"

"You're so lucky you and your Daddy are happy together."

 

And am I the only one who is seriously aggravated when I hear it?

 

I am not lucky to have found Daddy, I put myself out there and took a chance. I am not lucky that I am in a relationship, I work harder than I ever have for it. I am not lucky that Daddy and I care for one another and are happy, we built this happiness together over a lot of crying and effort and pain. I get so frustrated when I especially hear it from 18-19yo who say that I am so lucky because they will never find their partner. I put in my effort, time and the correct steps to foster a healthy and real relationship.

 

I was lonely for many, many, many years and when Daddy started messaging me, I still refused to just believe in some fantasy. We both got to know one another as friends, trusted one another, and then loved each other. And people tend to have this mindset that just because I have a Daddy, I have no clue what it is like on the other end. I actually had a person or two say how I simply don't understand loneliness because I have a Daddy... but... how can ANYONE make that statement to another person? You don't know their background? You don't know what they do day-to-day? You don't KNOW if they are lonely or not...

 

Maybe it is me, maybe I am a snob, but I do get a little frustrated when everyone just equates what I have to luck. When in reality it wasn't luck, it was perseverance. It was me fighting for what I want and who I am (and Daddy fought too). It was fighting my entire family and friends being nay-sayers. It was fighting some hostile welcomes on the Aussie end (who are all good now!). It was bashing my head against the wall every time someone told me "Be honest with yourself, you're never going back to Australia." It was a lot of not having support but just me and Daddy. And even that wasn't enough at times. So I get angry when I hear these people say "you're lucky" or "you don't understand." I might not understand your exact perspective, but I have paid my dues. I'm not lucky, I am determined. 

 

Luck had nothing to do with it. Love did. And the willingness to fight for what I believed in.

[Guest Loki]

I’ve found people who don’t want to work attribute success to luck, becuase they don’t want to acknowledge the other person had to work to get where they are.

 

It could also be jealously.

 

And no, you’re not the only one. I get frusterated when couples or a person is slammed for being “lucky”, it’s quite annoying. Like, basically everyone is lonely and the only way to not be lonely is to interact and look and not give up. As you said, it. Takes. YEARS

 

Sorry I got snappy. I’m in a scrappy mood.

Edited February 20, 2018 by Loki’s Shadow

[ILikeTheSummer]

isn't this the same thing as when you have an operation... when it goes well you thank god when it goes bad the surgeon is at fault kinda?

[xBabydollx]

I get what u mean, but I think of it like how ppl say things like, "why me?" or "why not me?" and they equate those things to bad luck or lucky. When someone have something u desire, or especially feel u may never have, it is so easy to say, "u are so lucky". They may feel they are doing everything right yet 'no luck' while another gets it and is 'oh so lucky'. Hopefully that made sense lol. Finding the one and managing a relationship is a lot of work but like an old expression....when u are here and that person is there....the grass can look greener on the other side.

[CaresAlot]

I get the same kind of things about my job and my house.  Some people just don't have the work ethic it takes to make it happen.  Be going through school, bad realtionships or any of the other things you had to do.  There is a lot of truth in the saying "we make our own luck".  

The people that are here are getting lots of great information from y'all.  Its certainly good for them to hear what you had to say.

[ThePoet]

It feels like an issue with terminology. Words. I think the term "you're so lucky" has become a memetic shorthand in modern language. I certainly don't take it quite so literally; if I hear someone say "lucky" I assume that they mean "fortunate."

 

It's no discredit to your effort to say that - as you no doubt know - so much could have gone wrong, and that it is indeed fortunate that your hard work was enough to surmount those obstacles; maybe it's even by fortune's favour that you have the strength to have worked so passionately for what you deserve. I'm just saying that maybe most people don't mean lucky in the exact way you're reading it. I mean, I'm sure SOME do, but they're idiots.

 

And of course, there will always be people - nobody in particular - who may be a little older; people who have been through the same things as you for even longer than you have... and if they feel they have put in the same amount of effort and sacrifice as you, then what else but the turns of fate can they blame for their solitude? So many of us could be in your exact position right now, if not for the faintest hiccup, the slightest mistake, the most vague misunderstanding. Again, I don't think it's a discredit to your effort to admit that in this random collision of sensory existence, a lot of things need to align for two humans to even attempt to truly connect.

 

I'm rambling. I guess I'm saying maybe don't take it so literally. I'm sure most don't mean to dismiss your sacrifice when they say it. But also, while you can be proud of what you have earned, just know that very little can be taken by pure effort or pure chance alone. We're all LUCKY to be alive in the first place, and you never stop playing the odds.

 

But of course, that's just my opinion. A contradictory consideration; a varying viewpoint. I never hope to be right: only to offer a separate line of perspective that might add another facet to a ways of thinking. Congratulations on all of your successes. I wish you many more in the future, and if any happen by accident, I won't hold it against you anyway, I'm preeetty sure that you know better than to let uninformed people affect your happiness.

Edited February 20, 2018 by papapresents

[Guest SUeB]

Yep, agreed. Yes, NOW in my mid forties, i feel incredibly fortunate to have finally found the love of my life. But that's after over twenty years of nonsense. Bad relationships with several morons. Abuse, lies, cheating, lack of commitment, weakness etc etc etc.

Lucky? Not even close. There is no such thing as luck, either good or bad.

[Déphysios]

Luck does not exist, there are only choices, good or bad. There is only the will to give oneself the means to find happiness.

[ThePoet]

(I don't mean to get off-topic, but "no such thing as luck"? "Luck does not exist"? I admire the bold sense of self-determination, really, but are we questioning the existence of chance? I found five bucks on the ground last week. I fail to see the choice or effort involved there. Inarguably, things occur - good and bad - that are beyond any measure of control or determination, right? Luck, chance, fortune, serendipity; whatever you call it, everything is not always in your hands. Sure, sometimes you eat the bear... but sometimes the bear eats you.)

[ILikeTheSummer]

there is always some luck just the odds of meeting that one person out of over 6 billion is crazy.... but other than that it's 99.9% hard work

[Guest PrincessMim]

I think relationships are hard and yes you really have to work for them but luck does play into meeting that one person. I think the people saying this to you are probably people who have tried and failed and are feeling discouraged. Props to you for pushing through and finally finding someone that makes you happy

But maybe don't blow up at them, really don't think they mean anything by it

[Little Illy]

It feels like an issue with terminology. Words. I think the term "you're so lucky" has become a memetic shorthand in modern language. I certainly don't take it quite so literally; if I hear someone say "lucky" I assume that they mean "fortunate."

 

It's no discredit to your effort to say that - as you no doubt know - so much could have gone wrong, and that it is indeed fortunate that your hard work was enough to surmount those obstacles; maybe it's even by fortune's favour that you have the strength to have worked so passionately for what you deserve. I'm just saying that maybe most people don't mean lucky in the exact way you're reading it. I mean, I'm sure SOME do, but they're idiots.

 

And of course, there will always be people - nobody in particular - who may be a little older; people who have been through the same things as you for even longer than you have... and if they feel they have put in the same amount of effort and sacrifice as you, then what else but the turns of fate can they blame for their solitude? So many of us could be in your exact position right now, if not for the faintest hiccup, the slightest mistake, the most vague misunderstanding. Again, I don't think it's a discredit to your effort to admit that in this random collision of sensory existence, a lot of things need to align for two humans to even attempt to truly connect.

 

I'm rambling. I guess I'm saying maybe don't take it so literally. I'm sure most don't mean to dismiss your sacrifice when they say it. But also, while you can be proud of what you have earned, just know that very little can be taken by pure effort or pure chance alone. We're all LUCKY to be alive in the first place, and you never stop playing the odds.

 

But of course, that's just my opinion. A contradictory consideration; a varying viewpoint. I never hope to be right: only to offer a separate line of perspective that might add another facet to a ways of thinking. Congratulations on all of your successes. I wish you many more in the future, and if any happen by accident, I won't hold it against you anyway, I'm preeetty sure that you know better than to let uninformed people affect your happiness.

 

You are absolutely right in the fact that I believe that there is a bit of luck in every encounter. But with every new person you meet there are potentials for all sorts of interactions to play out and so on.

 

I definitely hear what you are saying, and typically I am a very subjective person. But for whatever reason hearing say I am lucky in this regards is frustrating. But I don't necessarily allow it to hinder my happiness. It is just one of those things that make me go "hmpf, whatever."

[Little Illy]

I think relationships are hard and yes you really have to work for them but luck does play into meeting that one person. I think the people saying this to you are probably people who have tried and failed and are feeling discouraged. Props to you for pushing through and finally finding someone that makes you happy

But maybe don't blow up at them, really don't think they mean anything by it

 

I would honestly never blow up on them. It is actually why I made this rant. I didn't know if it was me being too sensitive, but because I recognize that I react in an unexpected way, I never really vocalize it as such. Whenever someone says I am lucky with my relationship I simply reply "Yes, we are very happy." or something along those lines. 

 

This is totally a Me thing and not a Them thing. I know it. I just didn't know if I was alone in these situations.

[Guest infinitecases]

I think when someone tells me I'm lucky, I tend to think to myself 'I really am' because by some off chance, I was able to meet my Daddy and I got lucky to have a Daddy who loves me back so much and takes such good care of me. I don't doubt for a second that I was lucky to meet him, however I agree with you on the point that the relationship itself isn't luck, it's just hard work and perseverance! Meeting is the lucky part I think, and everything else is what you put into it.