Why aren’t sadistic daddy’s a thing.

[LittleGypsyGirl]

I’m a masochist and a little. I know a lot of Little’s can’t handle pain. But daddies don’t seem at all willing to give me what I need either. Does anyone else have this problem and what should I do?

[Guest Neenoos]

I’ve gotten lucky that my Daddy is a Sadist so I get the pain I need to function and once we are done I get cuddles and love after. When he’s Daddy I call him that but when we switch into our other dynamic I call him “Sir” because Daddy is no longer there- Daddy would never hurt me but Sir does.

 

I understand your problem- that many Daddies seem to be too loving and not abuse us the way we want, I’m sure if you put yourself out there and keep looking you’ll find the perfect balance between the two. Or communicate- tell Him what you want, how you want it, etc... some Daddies are open to learning.

[JustOneZ]

Their was a guy who posted in the topics (I forget where) about being a sadist daddy maybe try to go digging a bit and find their post?

[Guest Naturalselectionissexy]

I’ve gotten lucky that my Daddy is a Sadist so I get the pain I need to function and once we are done I get cuddles and love after. When he’s Daddy I call him that but when we switch into our other dynamic I call him “Sir” because Daddy is no longer there- Daddy would never hurt me but Sir does.

I understand your problem- that many Daddies seem to be too loving and not abuse us the way we want, I’m sure if you put yourself out there and keep looking you’ll find the perfect balance between the two. Or communicate- tell Him what you want, how you want it, etc... some Daddies are open to learning.

Wanting to receive pain and calling it abuse is a bit of a problem! I'm thinking there might be a better use of words. Edited February 19, 2018 by Letsgoforanadventure

[MrJohnny]

 When he’s Daddy I call him that but when we switch into our other dynamic I call him “Sir” because Daddy is no longer there- Daddy would never hurt me but Sir does.

 

This is a very perceptive take on your relationship. DD/lg is a subset of BDSM, and has its own characteristics. I think that most Daddies are primarily focused on the care of their partner which can but does not always include sex. Sadism is part of the BDSM master set which includes sadism/masochism and other kinks also, and virtually always includes sexual expression.

 

I personally had previous experience with subs who desired pain and found that I really am challenged to provide that. So when I found out about DD/lg it seemed a natural fit for me. Within my expression of DD/lg, pain is associated with punishment as behavior modification and thus, while not desirable is seen as necessary to achieve the desired benefit. I could possibly work into some degree of pain providing as a sexual expression with the right sub, but it would be a progressive experiment over time.

 

To answer the OP, I agree with the fundamental advice that you communicate to your Daddy what you want. I recommend doing it as a meta-talk while out of the dynamic. Be prepared to negotiate a progressive expression over time. And be specific so that he is not surprised by something you ask for while expressing your dynamic as a sexual scene.

Edited February 19, 2018 by MrJohnny

[Guest Neenoos]

Wanting to receive pain and calling it abuse is a bit of a problem! I'm thinking there might be a better use of words.

my wording was a bit off...but I didn’t mean abuse abuse but consensual emotion/physical pain inflected on someone. Sir would only hurt their sub out of love, never hate.

[Pure Heart Dom]

I’m a masochist and a little. I know a lot of Little’s can’t handle pain. But daddies don’t seem at all willing to give me what I need either. Does anyone else have this problem and what should I do?

The problem for the most part isn't that cgs are too loving, but that they view giving pain in a negative light. Giving pain, for the most part is seen as abuse or devaluing of a little to many cg's POV (I think) but giving pain is so much more than that, TRUST ME! You just gotta find a cg that understands that balance and enjoys the art of sadism xD

They do exist! They're just few and far between but they are out there, I promise! :3

[Guest Urthurs]

It's a thing. I am one hehe..

[Guest SUeB]

There are lots of daddies who are also sadists. Just as there are lots of lgs who are masochists.

[Guest Arc]

It's a thing. My Daddy is a sadist. Just because you haven't found one doesn't mean it's not a thing.

[Guest Arc]

Maybe try look on fetlife, if you are looking for a sadistic daddy. You might have more luck there finding one who leans towards a more bdsm side.

[kittyboo]

Sadistic daddies and masochist littles exist. My Daddy hurts me all the time, in fact the other day as punishment he didn't spank me because he knew I'd like it too much haha. As suggested, Fetlife might give you more options of what you're looking for.

[LittleGypsyGirl]

For everyone telling me to try fet life, the only people who message me are 50 year old men and I’m 23.

[Guest aphroditelaughs]

I'm a masochist. My Daddy isn't a fullblown sadist, but he enjoys some stuff. We negotiated and explored and got to a place where we're both happy.

 

As far as fetlife, you can try to make connections and reach out too. Munches are a good place to start.

[Guest Arc]

For everyone telling me to try fet life, the only people who message me are 50 year old men and I’m 23.

Then put on your page the age you're looking for. Post on local personals pages and specify age. Just because the ones who contact you are older than you want doesn't mean you can't contact the ones who are the age you want...

Edited February 20, 2018 by ArcOfInfinity

[LittleGypsyGirl]

Then put on your page the age you're looking for. Post on local personals pages and specify age. Just because the ones who contact you are older than you want doesn't mean you can't contact the ones who are the age you want...

I have done this. it never works

[ILikeTheSummer]

I have done this. it never works

i have similar experiences with fetlife and don't like the site at all so you're not alone with that don't worry

[neko]

Try going to some local events? specifically for masochists or littles?

[Guest Arc]

Okay well your attitude is probably going to make things harder for you. Just because it hasn't worked yet doesn't mean it never does. If you give up that easily and only think negatively then your attitude is probably largely what's stopping you from finding someone.

[Daddy 2021]

Is there an age restricted group in your area? Where I live there's an under 35 BDSM group. 

[Frog]

I see it as a Venn diagram. How many people in general are sadists/masochists? Then how many people in general are daddy/mommy/little? Now how many of those intersect?

 

I think it's just a matter of statistics more than anything.

[Ba4]

[MadSquirrel]

I'm glad to hear the responses on here I thought I was he only sadist .  But seriously it has to be part of it for most DDLG dynamics, the threat of punishments is always there surely?

[Meggers]

Don’t get discouraged! I’m a little and a masochist and that was a struggle for me as well. I had to make it very clear that I wasn’t looking for a caregiver, I was looking for a daddy DOM. I’ve Seen many daddies who have no problem with my masochist side. some are fine saying they are a sadist, some not willing to call themselves that, but it’s close enough. I know that it is hard to not have a Daddy, but remember that your Submission is a gift and having patience will lead you to the right person.

 

Just as everyone else is suggesting, get out to more munches In your community, find nearby groups on fetlife and start from there. And maybe only 50 year olds do message you, but are you messaging people closer to your age? Make sure your messages are nicely written and not just a simple hello because that’s not going to set you apart in their inboxes. Stay positive little one!

[DeanMasters]

I would say I fit into the sadist daddy bracket. I was more into BDSM before I discovered DDLG /BG. This dynamic fits my needs perfectly. I am looking for a masochist little. I've had 2 DDBG relationships and both were masochists it worked very well. I'm single now though and looking