Little not doing punishments

[NoobDaddy]

I'm currently in a long distance realtionship with my little, tonight I gave her a punishment but she refused to do it. Any advice on what I can do to make sure she knows what she is doing is wrong without demanding an apology and waiting till she does.

[I_AM_THE_SENATE]

I have a few thoughts but this is just my two cents so here goes...

 

I'm not sure if you have rules written down for her so she knows exactly what to do and what merits punishment. I am blessed with a well behaved little so even when we were long distance in the beginning, she always did as she was told. Regardless, that may be a place to start. If you need inspiration, her rules can be found here: https://www.ddlgforum.com/gallery/image/19351-my-rule-chart/

 

If you already have rules and punishments established and she simply isn't cooperating, it may be time to consider if this is actually the dynamic that she truly wants. There must be some form of want to please a caregiver and follow the rules of the dynamic (not necessarily the written down rules, think bratty littles etc) on behalf of the little or it will never work properly long distance. There must in my opinion, by a genuine want to submit, please and ultimately help the dynamic to function correctly. Definitely talk to her to find out exactly what she wants dude.

 

Lastly, consider yourself. I mean no offence and please do not take this the wrong way. Are you being the right type of dominant for her or are you being dominant enough full stop? Ultimately, this question can again be answered by finding out what she needs.

 

In the end dude, the solution to your problems comes down to one thing. Communication. Talk to her. Find out what she wants. People can advise you but only she knows what she wants in her heart. You may get the answer you want, you may not. At the end of the day though, even if you don't hear what you want to hear, at least you know the truth, whatever that may be and you can act accordingly. 

 

ya boi,

 

The Senate

[Yaar]

If she doesn't want to do it then maybe you should consider taking consent her more seriously?

[unicornbaby]

ummmm if she dont wanna do it then she probably wont do it 

[Guest ~*~Sachita~*~]

Try this? https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/23789-ldr-punishments-for-bratty-littles/

[Guest Arc]

Honestly, straight up refusing to do a punishment is not okay. It's far past being bratty and straight into being disrespectful. If she doesn't want to follow what you say then you really need to talk to her about whether or not she wants to be in a dynamic and why she's acting so disrespectful. 

 

Being bratty is fun and playful and both parties have to consent to it. That's not bratty or fun for you, by the sounds of it. It's just disrespectful. 

[Guest Arc]

In general, it is not okay to refuse punishment. If it's too much or too unreasonable their is negotiation or safe words. She has a say in punishment but that say generally shouldn't be "no I don't wanna" because that defeats the entire purpose of rules, punishment, and overall structure. She could say "I don't think that punishment fits the crime, could you rethink that? Maybe we could try x or y," or "I cannot handle that physically/mentally so red (or other safe word)."

 

And yes, everyone's response was assuming the little was just straight up refusing for the sake of being bratty. An assumption doesn't mean anyone was trying to justify abuse.

[Cr33pyHollow]

Talk to your partner. Let them know that it’s ok to speak up if you cross a boundary. If that isn’t the case here, and she just doesn’t want to do it, you need to have a serious discussion with her about your dynamic.  

[Guest Prat]

https://www.ddlgforum.com/topic/12632-cgl-over-distance/?p=68819%27%5DCgl

 

Try this, might help.