Thoughts.

[Guest QueenPrincess]

1. Dear "new daddy looking for advice/ any daddy with any ability to take feedback"

You don't have to put on the pathetic "alpha" show. When I do feed into it it's because I like you enough as a person to let you self-indulge a bit. You aren't sneaky, you aren't rewiring little's brains into thinking you're more valuable/ attractive/ or even more confident than you are. So if you're doing it for fun and kink, go for it, some find it fun to play along. If you're putting on airs to attract a mate it's probably only contributing to your singleness/ inability to get some. 

 

***side note: it is very easy to manipulate people obsessed with themselves. Good luck being in charge when the sub can do anything so long as they twist it into the hyper-macho framework you've thrown together. Do you even want to be in charge? I think some of you are terrified to connect with someone without having an established upper-hand.

 

2. Quit announcing that you're funny, loyal, kind, smart, etc... 

A.) If you mention your IQ anywhere (on or off of this site) you're automatically everyone's least favorite person. And no, it's not because people can't "understand you." And no, it's not because everyone's "just jealous." It's because you use a relatively arbitrary number to justify your value instead of making yourself of value to other people by: being a good friend, making something cool, etc...

B.) Stop telling people you're attractive. So far when anyone has described themselves as attractive my answer has been invariably the opposite. Maybe someone actually will think you're hot, but let's allow them to come to their own decision. 

C.) B again, except replace "attractive/hot" with "kind."

 

3. Stop domming people who aren't you're sub.

This is specifically in response to a thread made a while back surrounding the subject of "Doms going into dom-mode on accident." Something like that. The responses ARE THE GOOD STORIES, the ones with happy endings.

 

Well, I work at a hospital and when people call me a "good girl" or anything else that I'd consider sexually suggestive (by man or woman, the young or the old), I start answering their call bells and requests last. I can't bring myself to neglect a patient, but the hospital is not a place where you want to be the last priority. Going into "Dom mode" is sexual harrassment when it's not invited. In case you read that thread and thought "I outta try this domming shit in public" just understand, there are scenarios that SUPER DO NOT turn into mini-pornos.

 

4. You can call desperately needing guidance to survive a kink. You can call the inability to respect and take care of yourself an endearing trait. But I disagree.

I'm not suggesting people let go of CGL, but some of you have decided you're actually helpless and it's stupid. Deciding to take care of yourself when you need to won't even hinder your ability to enjoy littlespace or a relationship. 

Feeding into a kinky desire to submit to the point of essentially disabling yourself (in the event that your relationship ends or not finding a caregiver) is akin to losing everything to a gambling addiction. Everyone ferociously defends anything within the kinky category, but why is ruining your life in the name of kink okay, but not in the name of heroine? Alcohol? Gambling? Overeating?

Or should we all let the opioid epidemic continue because people describe the high like an intense orgasm? I'm not saying we should go around shaming everyone's kink. But in case you have some thoughts like:

- This relationship dynamic isn't healthy

- I'm not sure if I like this or if I'm afraid of the alternative

- I wonder if these desires are coming from a good place

Then, please consider reaching out to a professional. Despite the cries of "NO KINK SHAMING" it's okay to explore where shame comes from so as to resolve the issues or sit with the emotions till they subside. Instead of stuffing it down.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Little Illy]

I get the feeling you just had a bad experience... this thread is fairly negative and geared towards a type of person.

 

I’d like to mention that your preferences aren’t what everyone else thinks. Maybe a person loves when a guy is overly confident and spouts out how attractive they are or how intelligent... and then maybe some people love the control outside of the house as well.

 

I do agree that a person should never Dom/Domme someone else’s sub, but you should also realize... everyone uses terms VASTLY different when you get into the real world and off of this forum. “Darlin, sweetheart, hon, little girl, sweetie, Sir, Gentman” and so on have different meanings in the real world. And some of us can totally be fine with that when it comes to terms are respect and polite conduct.

 

Either way I’d just like to add a reminded that not everyone is what you have labeled above and not every who may fall under that label is a bad person. Variety is the spice of life, after all.

[Guest SUeB]

Yes, this sounds like a personal vent after a bad experience with someone. Stopped reading quite early on, as it was just a lot of hurt negativity. We all get hurt, but it's maybe not a good idea to put one accusatory label on certain behaviours. Try not throw out the "one true way" attitude. What you find wrong isn't the same for everyone.