LDR vs IRL?

[Guest Daddys1Babycakes88]

I’d like to know everyone’s opinion on this. Some Littles/Daddies prefer LDR while others insist on IRL. What’s your opinion? Which do you prefer and why? Do you think that all LDR should end up as IRL, or does that make it a waste of time?

I just thought it would be fun to see everyone’s views on this ☺️

[KaliGuurl]

I use to date a guy who lived in England while I live in America.

 

My Daddy lives in California and I live in Washington. I see him every couple months (if we're lucky).

 

Being in a long distance relationship is one of the hardest things I've ever done in my life. I swore to myself after going to England I would never put myself in this position again. But here I am.

 

I love my Daddy and he's worth it but I will never understand why someone would want a ldr.

 

If you don't have any intention of ever being together then yes, I see it as a complete waste of time.

 

The amount of money and time off work we have to take to just see each other for a week is worth nothing, if we didn't have plans to eventually move in together.

[Guest Kaiser]

They don't work. Period.

[Guest SUeB]

Absolutely no interest in two dimensional LDR relationships. Actually need a full, real one. And sorry, i know many disagree with me on this, but i don't see online only as a real relationship. That's assuming this is what you meant by LDR. Although LDR can be face to face too, just more of an effort, and usually less time together. So my reply is in relation to online only.

[Guest Daddys1Babycakes88]

[Guest Arc]

My Daddy and I are long distance while I am at university, and as soon as I graduate I'll be moving. We see each other every few weeks, and that's hard enough as it is. I miss him all the time. 

 

I don't personally understand online only relationships. I'm into hypno and I know many people who have online/skype sessions with that, and those online relationships work out well for them, but that's a completely different situation. I need physical contact and to actually be with someone. ><

[XmochiX]

Long distance relationships can be fulfilling, but only if you have the time and money to make it work. Which most people don't, imo.

[SleepyKitten]

They don't work. Period.

I beg to differ.

 

I have had previous ldr relations that i admit did not work. But i have met the love of my life via this forum and we happen to be long distance right now. I will finish my education in the UK and move to him. We both work and we combine our savings to see each other. We are a thriving couple. And we will have an amazing future together. Period

 

Please have some respect for others in ldr and do not push your negativity so strongly onto everyone else. I understand that is your opinion but i would rephrase it if i were you. Because it may not work for you... but it does for others.

Edited February 11, 2018 by SleepyKitten

[Mikaitaku]

Long distance relationships are real life relationships. Just because you don't see your partner everyday it does not make it fake.

[neko]

LDR's are a waste of time in my opinion. I've had a handful of long distance flings that only lasted a couple weeks because I got bored.

 

If someone can manage to make it work,good for them (:

[CaresAlot]

Not everybody can or wants to jump right directly into IRL relationship for a variety of reasons.  If you find the one that you are looking for and they are far away do you just pass them by and hope you find somebody close.  Not everybody lives where there are a lot of people or have the means at the start to do more than an LDR.  There are a lot of people on here who are conident in who they are and what they want.  I can make a reasonable guess, that there are also a great many that are shy or not sure of what they are ultimately after.  An LDR can be like learning to ride a bicycle with training wheels.  It's more fun when you take them off, but without them maybe you never try and ride.

 

The one thing you have to always remember is that everybody has different levels of comfort, wants, desires and whole bunch more things that make all of us different.  There are few things that you can say will absolutely not work.  If you choose to be helpful to others let them know that it did or didn't work for you because ........  Something that gives them some helpful insight and lets them choose what works for them. 

[sullenDaddybones]

On-line relationships are interesting. Some people are unable to have real life ones, so it gives them a chance at something. You can also learn a lot about a person before you start living with them or before you progress(if you get bored in a few weeks with a person on-line you really know you would get bored in real life just the same so great to figure that out ahead of time)

 

Also people tend to be more honest when they're not staring at your face! Went on a date with a girl that wouldn't tell me she was a drug addict and on the telephone she would. Easier to take rejection and to be straight cause less fear of being judged.

 

 

Also on-line relationships don't work for everyone. People can hide a lot from you and or some just don't desire a real life relationship, if that's what you desire then be careful that the other person may not feel the same way. I have been lied to by a lot of people on-line.(some people live a on-line fantasy like Second LIfe)

 

I have had several on-line relationships. They worked a lot like real life ones. If you cannot afford a plane ticket or bus ticket then it's not likely you could make a real life relationship work either. So I don't see where that's an issue. Though the distance between your family/friends/life/work/etc... IS a big deal. I know couples who met on-line and are still together 20 years later. I find it a lot easier to open up to people and to get them to open up to me by talking(with a phone/audio feature) in real life people don't talk much anymore cause they lost that social skill with the age of the Internet.

 

Sorry but the future is going to be initially LDR for the getting to see if you're match phase and the actual old fashioned way of meeting in person is going to go out of style like landline phones. CAUSE people are picky and specific and they will want all the gory details out to begin with like whether or not you have Herpes or whether or not you want Children. Or whether not you're a Smoker. All these things are just elementary and the future.

 

If you're not dating on-line you're in the dying breed but I think both are beautiful. You can geographically pick the people you date on-line in your County, City, Sector... Just a lot get addicted to on-line Relationships as a means to an ends and is that Bad? I don't know, if it gives you both what you 'need' maybe it's fine for them and who am I to judge. It's your life

 

Do what you want with it (a guy who had a 5 year LDR, 2 years of which were in real life)

Edited February 11, 2018 by sullenDaddybones

[Guest Arc]

I support long distance because sometimes people's situations mean they can't currently be with that person - like for work, study, or taking care of family members. If the person is worth the effort then go for it, and start a plan on how you can one day be together when the situation changes. 

 

But personally I find online only with no intention of going anywhere else to be strange. It works for some, but I don't see how it can last long term. 

[Cr33pyHollow]

Currently in a semi-long distance relationship and I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy. I think LDRs that are only going to stay online are pointless, but that’s my opinion. Currently in a semi-long distance relationship and I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy. I think LDRs that are only going to stay online are pointless, but that’s my opinion. 

[Little Illy]

Daddy and met on here in October 2016. We were in an LDR for 13 months accumulative. 5 months into our relationship I flew to him, stayed 2 months and then came back. 8 months after being back, I packed my bags and flew back to him. This time as a one way trip. This LDR has been the most painful experience in my life, and my life has not been all that great. 

 

I will never understand the point of a strictly online LDR, in my personal opinion. To me, that is just a SUPER DUPER close friend (if you never have any intentions of meeting). I say this because I would never be able to be in a permanent, strictly online LDR. I recognize my bias.

 

LDRs require one of two things to be known (in my opinion):

 

1. If you know you are never going to see each other, you both provide something the other desires in an almost minimal sense. I feel like, in an LDR, you are the side chick. Or side dude. You are the side piece to your partner's LIFE. You are the one put on the back burner because you are strictly online. He/she goes out to live his/her life and you are the online delight. People in your partner's life will ultimately take priority. NOT saying your partner will never make time for you or ignore you. However, it is easier to put the internet aside than a person standing right there. You experience this even in LDRs when you are working towards living together. It WILL happen no matter how much you think it wont. And its not a disrespectful thing, but rather a byproduct of the beast of LDR. When you are on the phone and the doorbell rings, do you ignore the bell? No... you answer the door, and more times than not, you ask to call the person on the phone back. And that is a perfect explanation of the LDR nature - you are the person on the phone and LIFE is the one who keeps ringing that doorbell.

 

2. If you are working towards being together, in the same place, because you love one another - then you are now in a position where this online thing now is a challenge. You HAVE to go outside your comfort zone and make sure that the LDR is set to the highest priority. Why the highest? Because it requires THAT MUCH WORK when you are working to see one another. It is the real deal and I personally believe most people cannot handle an LDR with a goal to move in together. I have heard the counter argument (of LDRs being great) as "people in LDRs love the most, if you truly love someone, then an LDR is no problem." Sure, maybe... for a strictly online LDR. For an LDR where you are going to ultimately be together... it is the hardest thing you'll have to do. You have this person you love deeply and he/she is so far away. You know you'll be together but... you're not yet. It is hard letting holidays pass and only seeing them on the screen. Or wanting them to meet your family but your family doesn't have the time - due to time changes - or understand how video calls work. It is HARD WORK. But it is worth it in the end.

 

My LDR broke me, I wont lie. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with. I love too much and am too much of a tactile person to ever have an LDR for as long as I did. So Daddy and I made it so we were together. We both hate LDR. I will resent LDR (not Daddy) for all my life just because of the bullshit it caused, when all I wanted to do was be with Daddy and vice versa. 

 

But at my core... I am so goddamn grateful of the opportunity LDRs have given me. Without it... I never would have meet my Forever Daddy. I moved 9134 miles to be with him and this is the happiest I have been in years.

 

My LDR broke me, but my relationship rebuilt me. Made me see why I did what I did, why I stuck it out, why it was vital to handle the bad. 

 

Because the good is so GOOD, the bad is now irrelevant. 

[princessfreckles]

I've settled for LDR twice, when I knew I wanted IRL. Currently I'm alone. Honestly I just want an IRL Daddy/boyfriend, but the only ones who seem to show the least bit of interest in me are 8+ hours away. Now I'm faced with do I keep settling, or wait for pigs to fly and for a nearish Daddy to find me attractive enough and interested in the same things. It's definitely a lot to think about. 

 

However, as long as both parties are happy with their situation whether it be IRL or LDR and where they see it going that's what matters. All situations are different. 

[strawberrystarbaby]

I don't really see a point in an LDR if it's not going anywhere. I am in an LDR at the moment, but the distance is not terribly far (We are both in NY, six hours apart, and that's awful as it is. Taking time off work, saving up for time together, it's insane) and we have plans to move in together. If you're not going to work for it to be IRL, what's the point? I honestly have never really understood people's want for online only relationships. I feel as if those are typically people who do not want commitment and an easy out for when they get bored/things go wrong.

[kittyboo]

I could probably have a LDR if necessary e.g if someone I was seeing moved away or they were literally perfect in every way but quite far, but not an online only relationship. I wouldn't gain much from it. My Daddy is 2 hours away but I wouldn't call that a LDR. I'm definitely an IRL kinda girl, that will always be what I look for.

[littlefemmenist]

the closest relationships i've ever had have been forged and maintained online. i'm personally too shy and anxious to meet a lot of people out in the world, so my online persona is the truest reflection of me. if there weren't communities like this, i would have literally three people in my circle.

 

i get why there's such bias against ldr and online relationships, but the vitriol seems unnecessary.

[Guest LeftyGuitar]

I think its possible for LDRs to work. Though I think the ultimate goal is to to be IRL. Though LDRs can be very hard.

[ILikeTheSummer]

it's not necessarily possible to start an close distance relationship for everyone... i lived in a small town conservative town for a long time and i can't really imagine there are a lot of people interested in DD/lg there, but i also see a big difference between getting to know each other long distance, and having something only long distance/online... if it's just a burden that has to be overcome it can work, but i personally couldn't ever be in a relationship where there will never be any physical contact

[Guest bad_apple]

A purely online relationship wouldn't be something I can imagine for myself because I do need physical contact at some point.

 

LDR are getting more common,I feel. Since technology now brings people together who would not have met otherwise. And they can work but require a lot of commitment and being some heartache with them. Even if you get to see your partner, it's only for a limited time before one goes back home.

In the end I would need something that had at least the potential of becoming a rl relationship. You never know what happens along the way, and I think in this case it doesn't matter if you're are in a LDR or dating in rl, as you get to know each other better, there's always a possibility of realising you don't fit together after all.

Back to LDR, I am good with being in one however, if things go well, I'd want to make it a rl at some point. And if it turns out that a not possible due to commitment, willingness etc... I don't know if I then wouldn't rather end it than go on.

[Guest aphroditelaughs]

I tried the online only thing and it ended with a lot of frustration and heartbreak. I'm in a LDR now and we see each other every weekend and every holiday break, but even then it's a challenge. We've been together more than 2 years and I've realized that LDRs take more love, sacrifice, and trust than normal.

 

Leaving every Sunday hurts like hell. But the fact that we have plans for the future keeps me going.

Edited February 20, 2018 by aphroditelaughs

[Guest curiousmiddle]

It's up to the individual and what their needs are. Some people can't do long distance, they need you physically there, some people don't mind it. Meeting people irl can be scary for some. You know, the whole stranger danger thing. Even if you talk every day and video chat, it's still a big step. Some people don't like physical contact and actually prefer the distance. They may be happy never meeting. Even if you never meet, I do believe ldr's are real relationships, and it's not pointless if you never plan on meeting. It's just based on whether you're both happy or not. If anything, it's experience. Definitely not pointless. 

 

But for me, personally? I like irl relationships. I love cuddling and being physical with my partner. 

[Little Illy]

It's up to the individual and what their needs are. Some people can't do long distance, they need you physically there, some people don't mind it. Meeting people irl can be scary for some. You know, the whole stranger danger thing. Even if you talk every day and video chat, it's still a big step. Some people don't like physical contact and actually prefer the distance. They may be happy never meeting. Even if you never meet, I do believe ldr's are real relationships, and it's not pointless if you never plan on meeting. It's just based on whether you're both happy or not. If anything, it's experience. Definitely not pointless. 

 

But for me, personally? I like irl relationships. I love cuddling and being physical with my partner. 

 

 

I totally agree with you, though I think those who prefer LDRs are a lower minority for relationships and that is why so many people misunderstand them. There is nothing wrong with living with the person you love, even if living is purely through screens and audio. 

 

 

Also, totes love Inuyasha and I love your signature!