How to discipline Littles in the presence of Non-DDlg Roommate?

[LittlePapaPhoenix]

Hi there. I have a quick question for all those Mommies and Daddies out there. What would you all do in my situation? I am roommates with someone who is not in the DD/lg community, and my Little visited me the other day. While she was visiting with me, and my Roommate was there, she began throwing tantrums and defying me, which, according to our rules, is a Spanking offense. However, we also agreed that all discipline and punishments are not to be administered while my Roommate is around (She is a very shy Little girl, and hates when she gets in trouble when there is even the slightest chance someone might hear or see her being scolded or punished). She is very sweet and adorable, but I cannot allow her to blatantly break the rules when my Roommate is around...What should I do? Should I just let this go, or should she be punished for her misbehavior? Much help would be appreciated! Thanks all!

 

-PapaPhoenix

[Guest JuniJuniJuinper]

I'm a little myself but I would suggest either having some sort of system where you track misbehavior and tally them up when out in public or in front of your roommates and then punishing your little later or you two could have a code word that means "meet me in the other room you were bad" and then you could get on with the punishments.

[I_AM_THE_SENATE]

My little is a good girl but if she gets a little sassy so to speak in front of members outside of the community, honestly all it takes is the right look to snap her back into submission. My 'dom face' she calls it. Generally speaking, if your little wants to be well behaved and seeks validation, then they will likely behave after a mere look or a covertly but well worded comment when in front of others due to 

 

A ) the fear of punishment and 

B ) the want to please and receive validation.

 

If you have a more bratty little on your hands then I'm at a bit of a loss with regards to your situation mate. Whilst it may be a little awkward at first in front of people, you guys may just be in need of some good old trial and error to find out what works best in that situation.

 

I'm not sure whether well behaved or bratty littles are more common but I can only speak from the perspective of someone with a well behaved little. 

 

Good luck my dude!

Edited February 3, 2018 by I_AM_THE_SENATE

[Guest SUeB]

Sorry, but you need to have an adult conversation with her and tell her that kind of behaviour is absolutely inappropriate around others. Also, ANY kind of discipline or punishment is absolutely inappropriate around others. She isn't actually a child, and shouldn't act like one in public.

[Heaven's Lost Property]

I am generally more of a bratty little,  im also not very shy but when i do break rules in public, he gets really close to me and whispers about how i better behave or my punishment will get even worse when we get home.Most of his punishments are very mean. And if i try to argue with him about my punishment then he will prolong it which i hate so much but it does always get me to be a good little girl in public

[LittlePapaPhoenix]

I wanted to establish that my little is a very bratty Little girl, who, even after being warned to behave in our apartment when my Roommate is around, continues to misbehave...Even though I said I wouldn't punish her in the presence of my roomie, I did swat her bottom once in a sheer instinctive reaction. Rather than becoming indignant or looking hurt, she did the same thing she always does when I swat her even in private: she covered her bottom with her hands and whined... I'm confused...I don't understand whether she is unhappy that I swatted her in front of my roomie, or what...All I know is that the misbehavior stopped when I swatted her...Should I continue to do this?

[EmilyLittle]

I'm extremely new to this subculture so can't offer any advice specific to the DDlg dynamic, but in relationship terms, you need to have a serious, adult conversation to restablish boundaries and determine whether "breaking the rules" is a deliberate act based on a desire to be punished or simply a matter of getting carried away in the moment. Communication is key in any relationship, and from what I understand of the DDlg dynamic, this is doubly true for cg/littles.

Emily

[EriSol211]

I myself am a bratty little and do tend to misbehave in public at times. What my daddy does is he first gives me a stern "You better start acting right" look, then if I continue to act up he grabs the back of my neck firmly to tell me that Im going to be punished when we get home. Usually at that point I stop but sometimes I dont. If daddy has given me the first two warnings and Im still misbehaving then he brings it to an imediate punishment. He'll usually grab my hand and take me into another room or somewhere private and he'll punish me there, but i believe that punishments are a private thing and should be saved for when no one else is around. In extreme cases in which your little just completely refuses to behave, its best that you take them to another room or a bathroom to carry out the punishment privately in the moment rather than waiting. But thats just my opinion everyone has their own ways of dealing with sertain situations and its up to you and your little to figure out the best way to handle it.

[LittleGoddess]

She may be a bit of an exhibitionist and is asking you to swat her in front of your roommate. The best cure would be a non-sexual, drawn out punishment like removing her stuffies for a week, not allowing her to eat her favorite food for a month or just something she really, really hates. Like another poster said, she's not a child and you need to be clear with her that this sort of behavior will result in her own misery, so she better cut it out or else. As a brat myself, I know this kind of response would work with me.

[Guest sunnybaby]

She may be a bit of an exhibitionist and is asking you to swat her in front of your roommate. The best cure would be a non-sexual, drawn out punishment like removing her stuffies for a week, not allowing her to eat her favorite food for a month or just something she really, really hates. Like another poster said, she's not a child and you need to be clear with her that this sort of behavior will result in her own misery, so she better cut it out or else. As a brat myself, I know this kind of response would work with me.

oof that's harsh, before doing one of those I'd talk to her about it. No meter how misbehaved I am, if daddy were to take my stuffies for any period of time, I think that would really damage our relationship because to me they're a comfort thing on bad days and stuff.

[Guest Arc]

You can't punish her in front of others who have not consented to being around that sort of thing. It's unfair and just not right. 

 

You need to talk to her about that. Maybe she is playing up around the roommate because she knows she cannot be punished there, and that's not okay. She's a grown up and she should know the difference between when is and when is not an appropriate time/place to act like that. 

[LittlePapaPhoenix]

Wow, that's very clear, Arc. That is so helpful to me, thank you for that. I am going to talk to her about this tonight, perhaps we can reach an understanding...I hope so, because she is a wonderful partner and an amazing young woman, and I want this relationship to work so bad...

[Guest Thumpie Bunny]

[Petitchat]

If I may, and this is purely my opinion, I completely agree with the poster who said that others have not consented to being around this. Though the people in the relationship are consenting adults, people outside of it are not. And it's not up to us to determine who would be comfortable or not. Like a lot of people here, DDLG to me feels like a lifestyle far more than a kink, it's who I am, not a role I choose to play or not. But the thing is, it IS a kink, and as such it should stay private, especially on "big" things like discipline (though of course there are a lot of small ddlg things that are appropriate in public imo because it doesn't scream ddlg to everyone around). If she's not just playing around without bothering others (and it's adorable when you see couples being playful with each other!) but throwing tantrums, then it's not okay. This is not a question of your partner being okay with who you are in this instance, but of respecting people outside of your relationship.

 

At the end of the day, although we may want different, we are adults and with it come responsibilities and we need to respect other people and their boundaries. We are not actual children with no conscience of social boundaries. I'd suggest as the others said to have an adult discussion about this with her and to explain at length what is not okay for you and when she crosses boundaries. Explain that this is not the right way to get your attention if that's the reason, and on the contrary it makes you want to spend less time with her for example.

 

Have a good day 

[Guest DaddyXjames]

There’s many ways to go about it tbh, but you can simply whisper in her ear the punishment she will have to face after your roommate isn’t present. Take away a favorite stuffier or paci, for minor offenses, and spank her booty for major offenses

[LittleKitten13]

There’s many ways to go about it tbh, but you can simply whisper in her ear the punishment she will have to face after your roommate isn’t present. Take away a favorite stuffier or paci, for minor offenses, and spank her booty for major offenses

I think that taking away a favorite stuffie or paci would upset me far more than being spanked, to be honest....  Stuffies and pacis are sources of comfort and such when papa isn't around, and to take them away would do more harm than good.

[LittlePapaPhoenix]

I just want to thank all the community members who gave of themselves to provide such quality advice in my time of need. Unfortunately, after sitting down and attempting to have a calm, peaceful, adult conversation with her, she decided to, shall we say, explosively object to my opinions, calling me a controlling freak among other, far more colorful names, and even went so far as to smash a ceramic statue of the god Apollo, given to me last year on my birthday by my mother; at which point I had her removed from the property by my Landlord. She is no longer going to have any part in my life. Thank you all so much...You all opened my eyes to the fact that any proper CG/l relationship should have limits on the behavior displayed not only when in the headspace of the Caregiver or Little, but outside that headspace, as well. Thank you.

 

~* Papa Phoenix *~