Struggling... please help

[ALittleLady]

I’m pretty new to this community and recently got my first daddy. He was fun, patient and every day with him was exciting.

Lately I am really struggling, we have had a couple of arguments. He’s asked me to do a couple of humiliating things which I have refused to do because they give me anxiety and the humiliation would neither turn me on or be something I’d like. I’d be genuinely mortified. I have explained my reasons on both occasions but this has resulted in me having a lecture about how I’m not doing what a sub is supposed to be doing, and when I’ve explained my point further I’m told that I’m argumentative and bratty and I should be doing exactly what daddy tells me.

I am finding all this so difficult bearing in mind I am new to all this, this is my first daddy and I didn’t have a great past records with boys resulting in my self confidence being low and me being quite wary.

I just feel like I’m being nagged at constantly and I’m not finding this as enjoyable as I did. I feel like I’m bad a lot of the time and I’m not getting things right. I’m quite a submissive girl but everyone has limits, right? Or am I doing something wrong?

 

Any constructive advice welcome!

[XmochiX]

[Guest PrincessPuppyPaws]

Hmm, I'm not an expert and can only offer my opinion. If he's asked you to do something and you don't want to he should respect that. Good on you for refusing and not pushing yourself into something that makes you uncomfortable. You need to discuss your struggles with him, communication is vital in a relationship and breaks down without it. The occasional argument is normal because nothing is perfect and smooth sailing all the time, but there comes a point where the arguing points to something not working, especially if you continue to argue about the same thing. His response doesn't sound right to me, saying you're not doing what you should and you're argumentative

​If you were getting things wrong, surely nagging and lecturing you is the wrong way to go about it. But I really don't think you're doing anything wrong at all :/ Being a submissive isn't doing whatever you're told and ignoring your own thoughts and feelings. It sounds like he's not taking you or your past into consideration...

[Guest Please-delete]

Never ever let someone force you to do something you don’t want to.

As you are new in the community it would appear you are still finding your hard limits and your Daddy should be respectful of this, not nagging at and lecturing you.

 

Not a good sign.

[Guest Zephy]

Yes, everyone has limits and they should respect them, it has nothing to do with you being bratty or being a natural submissive girl. He is just being disrespectful and selfish and trying to convince while putting you down and make you do something you don't want or are comfortable with. These are clearly red flags and nothing good is going to come from staying with this man. You should really consider of leaving him for your own health.

[Mikaitaku]

If a daddy try's to force you to do something against your will he isn't worth the time

[star-strucky]

If I were you, I would drop him. He seems like someone who doesn't respect your limits and boundaries, which is essential in a ddlg/bdsm relationship or any relationship in general, really. You don't need that in your life. The sub or little should never ever do anything they are uncomfortable with, regardless of what their dom/daddy/whatever tells them. You are so strong and courageous for sticking up for yourself. It's very brave and we are all proud of you for doing that. You deserve to have your own boundaries, and have them respected, not questioned or invalidated. Because he keeps trying to cross the lines you clearly put in the sand, and you've tried to work things out and he's not getting the picture, I would think about calling it quits, unfortunately. 

[ALittleLady]

Thank you so much for all you advice and kind words! I am so appreciative to you all and I am definitely taking all your comments and opinions on board.

I’m so grateful of communities like this where I can share how I am feeling and get to talk to such supportive people. You are all so lovely <3

[princesskristan]

I had something simular happen to me. I had a daddy that didn't respect my wishes and he made me do things that I was uncomfortable with and I had to drop him. I'm new too but I know a daddy is not supposed to act like that and ignore your wishes/feelings. I'm sending you all of the hugs in the world and if you need someone to talk to, I'm here❤

[Guest SUeB]

First of all, if you want to continue this relationship, you tell him that humiliation is a hard limit. End of story. You will absolutely not do anything under the context of anything to do with humiliation. And if he ignores you and carries on asking, you need to maybe realise that he is not the guy for you. These conversations ought to be held very early on. But it doesn't matter when it happens, as long as it DOES happen.