Need Daddy Advice

[princessfreckles]

I've been with my Daddy for a month tomorrow (yay!). We met in a kik group about 10 months ago, and before introduced him to my little side we chatted regularly. Our situation is long distance (I'm in Indiana and he's in Florida) with both of us wanting to meet in person. I like him. I like him soooo much, however despite us being on the same page with so much he won't video chat or do phone calls. I've flat out asked if he was married, had a live in girlfriend, etc. He said no, but that he wants to take things slow and get to know me. I told him I'd be patient, and I have been but I can't help but feel uneasy. We've been talking and getting to know one another for 10 months. I also understand the security issue of him not wanting to give out his phone number to some one he's never met in person.

 

I could see myself being truly crazy about him because when he does tell me I'm beautiful, I actually believe him. I'm not a crier, but it makes me teary eyed every time. However because he won't do something as simple as a 10 minute video chat or brief phone call I'm very guarded and not opening up as much as I did a couple of weeks ago. He will send regular selfies of himself though. 

 

Am I asking too much of him too soon?

Is there something I could/should be doing to earn his trust and show him that I'm not going anywhere or that I do care?

 

In general any advice and encouragement would be great. 

[DaddysLittleKitKat]

Hmm... this is a tricky situation because I have been in a situation where this was exactly the same, but it was just a case of he just didn't have any confidence at first. Is there anything else that has set off any warning bells?

[TwilightSparklez]

Personally, my opinion, you're right to be concerned that he wont take the time to video chat or talk to you. If he is truly interested he would want to see you, hear you and have as much contact as he is able. Anyone can say anything about marriage, girlfriends, etc.. it does not make it true. You're asking him to show a vested interest and that is not unreasonable it been 10 months a video chat or a detailed phone call should have happened within the first month. Plus now you can register for a temporary number that is not your own to call someone.. just saying.

 

Also trust you're instincts if something feels wrong it most likely is. You don't need someone to tell you you're beautiful, just know that you and love yourself

[princessfreckles]

10 months is kinda plenty of time to get to know a person and do video chat, is my feeling- for this day and age. That said though, I hate videochatting and I AM a real person, not a bot *beep boop*. That could just be my opinion.

 

Ask him to send you a selfie where he has written your name or username on his hand (not a piece of paper because they can be easily photoshopped) with his face in the frame.

As some level of proof that he's not catfishing. Because from what you've said he sounds a little bit iffy, which makes me paranoid for you instead of focused on 'how do I get him to video chat with me'.

 

Otherwise I guess just take a little more time on the romantic side of your relationship (since that's only been a month) and see where it goes.

Before you meet in person I think it would be perfectly reasonable for you to request to have a videochat, for your own security and safety. In fact I heavily advise it. ^^"

I know I'm not being catfished (that is a legit concern these days) because he'll send me selfies all the time and he shares them in the kik group we're both in. He has mentioned feeling self conscious and what not. I am too and I understand that. I'm trying to be patient for him to come around. Personally when I'm pushed, I'm less likely to do what the other person wants. I'm trying not to compare him to a previous Daddy (it ended badly), but the previous one was video chatting with me and calling me before I even became his little. While my current Daddy seems more genuine, he's definitely more hesitant than the previous one. In return the more hesitant he is, the more closed off I become which I know is bad. The expectation to see him in a video or have him call me is there, and it's really starting to bother me. Sorry to ramble. TL:DR I know he's not catfishing me. He sends regular pics. 

[princessfreckles]

Hmm... this is a tricky situation because I have been in a situation where this was exactly the same, but it was just a case of he just didn't have any confidence at first. Is there anything else that has set off any warning bells?

No other warning bells. He has mentioned before that he doesn't have the confidence. I completely get it. I'm not the most confident either. Personally I think he's handsome and a great guy. However I'm asking for a simple video chat of us talking about your days, me showing him what I've been coloring, etc. I'm not asking for anything naughty. And he's sent videos of his dogs, and even some short blips of himself at home. I don't get why it's such a big jump to a video chat. 

[star-strucky]

From what it sounds like, he might be afraid of rejection -- he might be trying to hide something that he thinks would make you not like him as much. Maybe he doesn't like his own voice, who knows. Not saying he definitely is, but it seems that way. As for the phone security issue: I would suggest encouraging him to download a calling/texting app (like textnow or something like that). It gives you a seperate phone number, you can text or call someone for free anywhere there's wifi, and you can change the phone number whenever just in case anything goes wrong. Good luck! 

[Mikaitaku]

This screams marriage catfish to me. Never trust someone who is like that

[TwilightSparklez]

Just another aside, this is a power exchange relationship, not to the extent of a D/s dynamic but still a relationship with a clear leader and follower. A good leader will not leave room for doubts to grow, they want to get to know you and experience you. A good leader is not shy because in order to know how to lead one has to be decisive and a good leader is not afraid of rejection because they want you in their lives they don't need you in their life, because that is co-dependency.

 

And selfies, no matter how many of the same person, can all be faked. Always listen to your instincts. They kept us from being wiped out by t-rex and other dinos lol.

[Guest SUeB]

[Guest infinitecases]

If you're using Kik, it tells you if they are sending pictures from their Gallery (ie it could just be any random picture they saved) or from his Camera... if it's from his Camera then maybe his selfies are more believable? But even then, people do use that option to just take a picture of a photo they found and make it look like it's their own selfie. 10 months is a long time to go without calling or video calling of any sort - maybe probe him some more about why he won't and say you're concerned for yourself because it's the internet... and if he still won't do it, even to ease your fears, I think it might be a bit fishy! 

[princessfreckles]

Thanks for all of your input everyone. I really took some time to think about it. Truthfully I didn't realize until this issue arose that video chats and phone calls are as important to me as they are. With all of that I decided to break things off with him with no ill feelings towards him. Instead of feeling upset or sad about this, I feel relieved which tells me I did the right thing. Thank you so much to everyone for your support. I love this community so much!