Sharing issue

[applepeach]

Hi,

(I apologize if my English is bad)

I guess I just need the community's opinion on a subject that has been bothering me for a few weeks...

I've been a little and submissive to my daddy for almost a year (he's my first dom), we've been in a LDR most of the time. I must clarify and say that we are not in a romantic relationship, even though we are very affectionate to one another. We met on Fetlife and still use that social media.

 

Recently, daddy has taken a new submissive from fet "under his wing". At first, he said he wanted me to have sex with her (I'm bisexual), I've tried talking to her and she doesn't seem interested in me at all... I tried to be her friend, because I can't just sleep with a random girl, but she's so dumb and single minded, hasn't asked me a single question about me, keeps talking about my dom, which was irritating when I tried to seduce her (awkwardly I admit).

 

I've now accepted the fact that the two of us will never be a thing, I gave up.

 

But daddy wants to be her dom... "To see where he will be able to take her" or whatever. He has now been her mentor for 2 weeks, and tells me that she's just "a submissive in heat, a slut only good for sexual slavery". That doesn't stop him from continuing this weird mentorship, using the same exercises he made me do, same training... it's making me feel like I'm being replaced by a new toy... it's slowly eating up my self esteem, like I thought I had a special place in his mind but I'm just another whore to be thrown out after use.

 

All those nasty thoughts are making me feel worthless, I'm trying to get myself back on my feet, introducing a heathlier lifestyle and way of spending my day but she's not helping. I know I'm jealous, but when I see her "pretend" to be a little when she doesn't even know what it is or try to understand, i GeT SO IRRITATED.

 

I guess I need advice on how to talk to my daddy about how I'm feeling since I'll be seeing him next week?

 

Just ask if anything isn't clear

[Mikaitaku]

I think you may be correct and you are being replaced. You should communicate your feelings to him and if he doesn't nothing to change it might be time to leave and find someone better suited to you

[Guest Mr.Stuffykins]

Hmm

I initially thought that your daddy was indeed trying to replace you. His mindset and handling of the matter troubles me deeply. As a daddy It hurt me to see someone refer to a little as "a submissive in heat, a slut only good for sexual slavery" That phrase both angers me and makes me ponder his perception of ddlg as a whole, but I digress. I know very  little of the situation and know that we are all different and have different opinions and views on certain things.

 

  As i stated previously I did think he was trying to replace you but as I thought about it more I came to a different conclusion. Perhaps your daddy doesn't want to replace you, or at the very least has no intention of doing so, and he simply wants to have two toys to play with. I say this because I think you and her are the same to him. Sure he has more attachment to you because he has been with you for a year but at its core - you are equals. My main reason in saying this is because he is going through the same process with her as he did with you. Demonstrating that what you went through wasn't that special or unique to you alone (which leads me to ask: is this something he does with every little?). Are littles just sex objects to him? As you stated you have no "romantic relationship" so why would he see you any differently? These are things I ask myself and take into consideration. These are things you should be asking yourself and asking him.

 

When you see him you need to be upfront and tell him exactly how you feel. Ask him about his opinions of you and your relationship. His expressions and answers should leave you relieved and NOT leave you with more doubt. You need to be certain that your feelings are mutual and that he doesn't see you as a " submissive in heat, a slut only good for sexual slavery". You and your feelings are important so make sure when you see him that he understands the severity of the situation. 

 

I wish you the best of luck and hope everything works out for you. Take care

Edited January 29, 2018 by Mr.Stuffykins

[neko]

From the little information you gave about you and your Dom, your relationship sounds absolutely horrible.

 

He should have asked you, before even considering to be her "mentor", if it was okay with you.

 

Just be completely open and transparent about your feelings on the situation.

Edited January 29, 2018 by neko

[Guest infinitecases]

Have you tried talking to him about how you feel about him taking on another sub? I feel as if, even if you and your Daddy aren't romantic, he should have discussed doing this with you prior to then going forwards with it and hurting your feelings. Even if he only sees her for the sexual side of things, becoming someone else's dom and using those same techniques he used on you is clearly hurting your feelings. 

 

If she really is just pretending to be a little to get his attention and isn't willing to be your friend, maybe you should try discussing this with your Daddy and that she isn't the person he thinks she is? She's clearly not interested in getting to know you and is only interested in talking to your Daddy. I think sometimes guys don't notice this as much as you might - or he might not believe you? Anyhow, that's how it seems to be coming across - just make sure he understands where you're coming from and that he should be more considerate of your feelings when he does something like this.  

[Guest Mister Grey]

IMO your Daddy is not acting much like a Daddy to either you or her.

 

you stated you “submitted” which is a more of a Dom/sub thing.  While DDlg has echoes of the Dom/sub dynamic, it is not the same, the mind sets needed are completely different.

 

Mr.Stuffykins is on to something when he pointed out how your Daddy referred to the other girl.

 

And the fact that he is “training” you and her?  I have not seen even one time of a Daddy “training” his little.  He may guide her, encourage her, support her, reinforce right and wrong, establish rules and even administer discipline but never have I seen “train”

 

You don’t “train” to be a little, you either are or your not.

 

And to top it all off, and I will sound like a broken record as I mention this a lot, but kink relationships, even more so than vanilla relationships, require a ton of communication.  

 

He chose, not only to bring another person into your dynamic and want you off the bat sleep with her (kudos to you for even entertaining this idea sight unseen), but apparently “train” her to be something your saying she is not, a little.  All of this with no regard for your feelings or input.  To me this does not sound like Daddy behavior.

 

All that being said, you have been with him a while and whatever you may classify your relationship as, you have found something that up until now, has worked for you, but I think you have a legitimate reasons to be concerned, you definitely need to have a conversation about the current situation and your feelings on it and lastly, you need to prepare yourself to walk away if need be.

 

[applepeach]

First of all, thank you all for reading this and for taking the time to give me your thoughts on the situation.

 

When I met him I was clear about being a little, and a submissive. As you all know here, littles have certain needs, like attention and affection, given by their cg. I don't think he had the same understanding of what a little was, even thought he was already calling himself a daddy. He was giving me attention and affection, all the while making me discover what it was to be a submissive. Truly making me come out of my shell.

 

I guess he had the idea of a daddy being a "gentle dominant". To answer Mister Grey, I know you don't train a little in a sense of making me become a little, your terms were better chosen, my English vocabulary is limited. He is encouraging, tries to be emotionally supportive to me. I don't know what he does with her. From what I understood it seems a lot colder.

 

I am, like most little, always starving for more attention. When that stream of attention seemed to dim during the Christmas vacation, I started to worry that he didn't want me anymore. He told me he was talking to this girl shortly after that. I started talking to her, getting nowhere as I said yesterday. To answer infinitecases, I did tell him she was showing no interest, she was nice to me but in a polite way.

 

Even though he said he wanted my opinion on him becoming her mentor, it really felt like I had my back against a wall... I said I would tried and expressed my worry to him multiple times. I guess I'll be clearer next week on how it's making me feel like. Like I'm used up and he wants novelty, a clean slate with someone else.

 

I guess my jalousy getting in the mix is not necessarily making me see things clearly, this is why I want to have a conversation with him. And if it ends, so be it.