What do I do when my little is poly?

[TheCatDaddy]

In my previous post I spoke of being new to the lifestyle, but it's been a very natural progression into my place as a Daddy. My problem is this, my little is polyamorous, and my room mate is one of her lovers. It's hard having my sweet girl be the center of my world one night, and the center of someone else's the next, especially when I can hear them through the walls.

I'm not going to let myself get heartbroken over it by any means, as I knew what I was getting myself into, but maybe someone has been through the same situation and could give me some advice? It'd be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

[Guest sunnybaby]

Have you talked to her about how you're struggling with it?

[TheCatDaddy]

We talked in the beginning about keeping ourselves detached, for our own emotional safety. She's moved a few hours away to go back to school, which has really only brought us closer together together. In turn, that just makes it a little more difficult. I told her that if she needed to have a relationship with someone else, that I simply didn't want to know.. ignorance is bliss, y'know. I have the feeling she's growing more fond of the idea of monagamy, but only because I'm the first boy she's ever trusted enough to show her little side to. In the meantime, it's still rough knowing in the back of my head that there are others.

[Guest lala1972]

what you should do? you want my honest opinion? Leave. That's because you cannot change her and she cannot change you (when it comes to dating pref). Either of you can honestly try the others way ,like you trying polyamory out but is that really you? I doubt it is because you would have gone into it yourself and not feel hurt about her having someone else. I know its not what you want to hear but think about it with a clear mind. Dont settle for someone who is not what you want because again they wont change for you, and they shouldnt have to anyway. A lot of times we put up with a lot of bullshit (speaking from exp) cause we love them so much and without realizing it we start molding into something were not. But ,eventually we become who we are meant to be and see that some things we shouldnt compromise on because we simply dont like it. AND THATS OKAY.

 

hope this helps

[Guest sunnybaby]

We talked in the beginning about keeping ourselves detached, for our own emotional safety. She's moved a few hours away to go back to school, which has really only brought us closer together together. In turn, that just makes it a little more difficult. I told her that if she needed to have a relationship with someone else, that I simply didn't want to know.. ignorance is bliss, y'know. I have the feeling she's growing more fond of the idea of monagamy, but only because I'm the first boy she's ever trusted enough to show her little side to. In the meantime, it's still rough knowing in the back of my head that there are others.

Of course because you aren’t poly! If you want to stay in the relationship you either gotta suffer through without talking or keep talking to her about your feelings. Feelings and people can change and constant communication, even uncomfortable talks, are held important.

[daddy1992]

Hey man, I don't think you are poly. I feel you should talk to her and be open about it. don't hold anything back. i personal haven't been in your shoes when it comes to this but i think if you are honest and open with your little about this, it might fix what you are feeling or if im being honest. maybe you need a little who isnt into poly.. but good luck man! 

[PrincessAurora]

I'm poly. you know what polys love? communication from their partners. that's the way we strive and stay strong. if she doesn't even want to talk to you about the situation. she is not really poly, she is using it as an excuse. 

 

poly relies on communication and trust. you NEVER bring another person into the relationship with out talking to your partner/s first

[xBabydollx]

Idk if u and her lover still live together, but if so, perhaps y'all can arrange dates or one on one time. Example, their lover can leave the house for a few hours when y'all want time alone. You can leave the house when they want time alone. This way u don't have to witness/hear extra signs of affections that u can't handle and also creates boundaries and more personal/special time. On another note, u sound wishful of her growing fond of being mono one day. u may think ur bond is special enough for her to never want another. u need to let that ideal go. Poly is a part of who ppl are. Even if for say, 1 year it was just u and her...there is no saying that next year she may meet someone special and desire to open her heart to them as well. she may want to marry them, who knows. u must learn to accept her for who she is, with no desires to change her natural way of loving ppl, or let her go. u say u knew what u was getting into, but I don't think u were prepared for the emotions that can come with it. Even if u don't know who else she deals with, in the back of ur mind on the nights she is out late/not texting back/yada yada u will wonder if there is someone else. Likely it will be. That shouldn't be a fear of yours if u was truly willing and ok to accept her lifestyle. It sounds like her lifestyle simply isn't for u and that's ok. I can tell u want to make it work, but ignorance is not always bliss.

[Maarloeve]

i'm not clear on the timeline, but if you told her you didn't want to know about the others and she was loud with your roommate in the next room.... that is demonstrating zero regard for your feelings.