Telling a family member

[Guest PorcelainPrincess]

Hi, everyone. If this topic has been addressed before, I'm so sorry. I tried searching, but I'm terrible at navigating myself around online, so I might have missed something. If this is the case, I would very much appreciate any links to similar topics! ^^

 

I'm looking for some advise about how to tell a family member - my sister - about being a little. To preface this, I'm very close to my sister. I would consider her one of my closest friends, even though she lives far away from me at the moment. And I think she suspects something anyway, judging from old comments. I want to be open with her. 

 

But... for obvious reasons, I'm terrified of telling her. I'm afraid of her reaction, and what she'll think. So I find I'm in this odd place of being torn on what to do. 

 

As to why I want to tell her, apart from wanting to be honest, I really do think she knows - though not to the exact depth. There's also the difficulty that she lives literally half a world away. 

 

I would appreciate some advise on how to approach this. If someone has experience on something similar, I'd love to hear that too. 

[TinyTwaddle]

hihi! 

 

I've never told a family member about being a little, but I definitely told a friend. I don't know how comfortable you are with discussing topics like kinks or different types of lifestyles with your sister, but perhaps start there. Start out by asking her about kinks and if she knows any of them. Laugh about the ones you think are a little bit out there and then begin to ask her about what you thinks about your personality, actions, likes and dislikes, etc, etc. This will bring you to a conversation starter of what it means to be a little and an explanation for your actions if she's curious. 

 

Having a secret that makes you feel like you are keeping something from someone you care about is never easy. I think the best thing you can do is to test out the waters and go from there. I wish you all the best!

[Guest PorcelainPrincess]

hihi! 

 

I've never told a family member about being a little, but I definitely told a friend. I don't know how comfortable you are with discussing topics like kinks or different types of lifestyles with your sister, but perhaps start there. Start out by asking her about kinks and if she knows any of them. Laugh about the ones you think are a little bit out there and then begin to ask her about what you thinks about your personality, actions, likes and dislikes, etc, etc. This will bring you to a conversation starter of what it means to be a little and an explanation for your actions if she's curious. 

 

Having a secret that makes you feel like you are keeping something from someone you care about is never easy. I think the best thing you can do is to test out the waters and go from there. I wish you all the best!

 

 

Thank you for your reply!

 

What you're saying makes a whole lot of sense to me. I'll definitely try your suggestion. But I'm just a bundle of nerves even thinking about it. I think my sister would be the most okay with it out of everyone I know, but these things sometimes are hard to tell I think. 

 

Thanks again <3 . 

[Guest Looby-Lou]

I agree with Tiny Twaddle that it's maybe good to approach it indirectly. Although I'm not sure I'd recommend laughing about it (or kinks in general) as that might make your sister think "Oh, I thought she was into something kinky herself, but she's joking so much that obviously she's not, so I won't say anything to her". And then you'll both be wondering but not daring to say anything. If you see what I mean?

 

If I have a tricky personal thing I'm considering telling someone, I usually bring it up someway like "oh I was reading an article recently..." or "I saw a television programme about..." so that you can introduce the exact topic you want to discuss (in this case DDLG) but WITHOUT making it personal to you, until you feel safe to do so.  If the person responds with an obviously prejudiced comment, then you'll probably want to stop right there and reconsider.  But if they respond with an open mind, or at least a neutral response, then you could take the conversation along the lines of "well this programme made me think about it and ...blah blah" - again not too personal, just testing the waters. 

 

I just always remind myself, that once something is said, it can't be unsaid.  So it's better to be cautious sometimes. There's always another day and another conversation to take things further.

 

Anyway, that's what I've done in the past, and it usually helps me so I thought I'd share.  Just my own thoughts/ideas, there's no right or wrong. 

 

And good luck with your sister! It's wonderful you have such a close bond with her.

[Guest PorcelainPrincess]

I agree with Tiny Twaddle that it's maybe good to approach it indirectly. Although I'm not sure I'd recommend laughing about it (or kinks in general) as that might make your sister think "Oh, I thought she was into something kinky herself, but she's joking so much that obviously she's not, so I won't say anything to her". And then you'll both be wondering but not daring to say anything. If you see what I mean?

 

If I have a tricky personal thing I'm considering telling someone, I usually bring it up someway like "oh I was reading an article recently..." or "I saw a television programme about..." so that you can introduce the exact topic you want to discuss (in this case DDLG) but WITHOUT making it personal to you, until you feel safe to do so.  If the person responds with an obviously prejudiced comment, then you'll probably want to stop right there and reconsider.  But if they respond with an open mind, or at least a neutral response, then you could take the conversation along the lines of "well this programme made me think about it and ...blah blah" - again not too personal, just testing the waters. 

 

I just always remind myself, that once something is said, it can't be unsaid.  So it's better to be cautious sometimes. There's always another day and another conversation to take things further.

 

Anyway, that's what I've done in the past, and it usually helps me so I thought I'd share.  Just my own thoughts/ideas, there's no right or wrong. 

 

And good luck with your sister! It's wonderful you have such a close bond with her.

 

Yeah, I think I agree with your thinking of 'wondering but not daring to say anything' in some scenarios. And I certainly don't want to make things awkward between my sister and myself. It's just hard for me to strike that balance of keeping it in the realms of 'hey I heard of such and such a thing, what do you think?', without revealing too much. If anything, I'm far too open with my sister, and she has learned to read me quite well. So I think once I even start the subject, she may guess exactly what's going on in my mind. 

 

But thank you for your kind advice! I'll have to keep it in mind once I'm brave enough to start the conversation. 

[Lil' Krisi]

I've told my best friend but as far as family goes they already are aware of my immaturity & how easily I cry when things get to be too much for me so I tend to do things like saying, "look at this new bow I bought!" Or "have you seen my sippy cup?". They see my hair in pigtails more often than a 37 year old should wear them & the entire earth shakes if I can't find my bankie. So everyone is different but maybe starting subtle (possibly more subtle than what I do) ways would at least help you warm up to it. One thing I always, always, always kept sacred is my ex-daddy's preference bc even though I'm willing to share that doesn't mean he was so you might want to consider that when opening up about your lifestyle to anyone. Edited January 25, 2018 by Lil' Krisi

[Angel24]

I've told both my sisters and mother and while they do think it's weird they've at least realized that I've given no them no choice but to accept it:)  I know it can be an extremely awkward conversation to have but the aftermath can also be less stressful since you'll have one less person to hide yourself around:) I hope it works out for you!