How to feel natural

[Hamster]

Hey guys.

First off Im new to the ddlg relationships. I have a problem which I dont know if itll go away in the future but basically Ive been talking to a Mommy these days and its been feeling.. Half artificial.

Like im altering my words before I say them instead of going with the flow naturally.

Now there is no blame on the Mommy because shes been really nice and for the other half of us talking it actually did feel natural. Thats why I think theres something else wrong instead of having the wrong Mommy. Talking to her is fun and I try to be myself but still I dont exactly know why theres that very little artificial element.

Part of me thinks its because its difficult to transition because Mommy doesnt say the things I respond to the most. But 1. Thats fixable, and 2. She isnt my Mommy YET so theres a chance everything will fall into place once she does become my Mommy. Plus I dont even call her a Mommy yet.

 

Its just annoying that im not transitioning properly. Again, Ive never been in a relationship like this but searching across the web, I sort of know how transitions happen and how Littles and their caregivers talk to each other.

However, that could also be a reason for that artificial element. Since every Little is different, I cant exactly learn how to talk from other Littles Ive seen on the web. And also I cant expect the same reactions from caregivers.

 

I try not to expect them but I have no idea and im confused. Shes really nice and I like her and its fun talking to her. Shes not my Mommy yet but when she slightly acts like one then it doesnt have as much of an affect as me as Id imagined it to have.

Edited January 22, 2018 by Hamster

[Guest Bunnyblossom]

Well then you should have a lil chat to her about the things that help you get into that mindset. ^^

I've only ever had the one Daddy, so I cannot draw from a great well of experience, but I've seen on tumblr and elsewhere Mommies and Daddies asking:

"What are things that get you into Little space?"

Meaning there's a lot of interest on their part in learning what they can do to help get you into Little Space.

 

I'm really glad you recognize that you can't learn or mimic other Littles and that you have to find your own methods and things you like.

'Cause trying to be like everyone else' is a mistake sometimes.

 

I'm assuming she knows that you're new to it. I don't think she'll be expecting you to be like, OMGLOB THE MOST AMAZING LITTLE EVER first thing. ^^ Not even after a few months.

It takes time.

 

Just do talkies the best you can with her. Maybe you'll even learn together what new things help you. Good luck

[gitsie]

[Guest infinitecases]

I think if you go round the internet seeing too many posts of how caregivers and their littles are 'supposed' to interact with eachother, it can distort your own view of how you think they'll react/how you should act around them. Perhaps try not reading too much into how others interact and try focussing on what makes you feel little especially and talk to your Mommy about that. I think she'll be grateful if she could understand what you need better to be in little space! 

[Déphysios]

I think that too much to want to do like others you have forgotten who you are. Do not try to be like others, just be yourself.

[daddyslilbaby]

Perhaps go slower with her? Don't fall into the CGL dynamic straight away, treat it like a normal relationship and slowly just start integrating CGL aspects and you and your Mommy can discover your little side together. I'm different from the typical little too so I know if I tried to get into a CGL dynamic straight away it wouldn't have worked for me either, I'd be copying what I saw online and that would feel artificial and boring, but my Daddy and I built it up over the past three months (it took me a month to just become comfortable calling him Daddy, and another month to become comfortable labelling myself as a little-- it might be faster for you), and I just slowly started becoming more comfortable with asking him to do things like choose my outfits and baby talking with him and stuff. It definitely takes time to transition, I think you just went into it too fast and you haven't really discovered your real little side, you might just be reflecting everything that you see online rather than only taking the parts that feel comfortable to you.

[Guest Arc]

I always like to be friends with someone before having a relationship with them. It allows you to be comfortable and be yourself. You get to learn about each other before trying to sort how a relationship works, and it creates a good base on common interests, trust, and communication. So for now, just talk to her like a friend. Let things go wherever they go and don't force or change anything.

 

My Daddy and I had played together before our relationship, but we were primarily friends. When our relationship began and he wanted to by my Daddy I was so scared because I had always been a sub and not a little. I went online and saw all the baby talk and pacifiers and diapers and... I was so scared. I thought I was expected to be a little and I tried my hardest and I did feel completely unnatural. In the end when we had the talk about it I found out he just wanted me to be me, and he wanted to take care of me however I needed. After that I was able to relax because I knew the wants and expectations, and I just went with it and it felt natural after that. So perhaps you could have the conversation with her about what she likes in a little, and what she wants? 

 

You need to relax and let things go wherever they go. Be yourself. Be natural. You'll feel better about things when you're yourself