Daddies who kinkshame/slutshame their littles.

[Lauriex]

Hello, everyone! My name is Laura and I'm pursuing to be the Dr. Phil of this forum. The reason why is I feel like there aren't enough people who speak up about topics like this simply because they are too scared or they just can't be assed to post something long about how they feel. I am here to speak up for the littles who feel oppressed or abused in their relationship with their daddies. Without further ado (and my babbling), let's start.

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It is totally fine for a person to have kinks; whether it be a simple kink for stockings or a non-monogamous kink like a gangbang or sucking someone else off in front of their partner. However, most people keep it to themselves in fear of being judged by others especially their partner. I have a kink for consensual non-consent, I'm gonna put it out there. Now don't shame me because I share this kink with other people, too. Whenever I tell this to my daddy, I get mixed reactions like 'what the fuck' or 'Gesu Cristo' (as told by my former Italian daddy). I know it's fucked up but you shouldn't react that way when someone tells you a deep dark secret like that one. Do you know how much courage a person pulls out just to say that to someone he/she trusts? Yes, when a person shares their deep kinks with you, they trust you. They trust you enough not to shame them for it.

A bratty little approached me just a couple days ago, she told me she broke it off with her daddy because he called her a 'slut' for wanting to suck David Franco's cock in a jokingly manner. Her daddy couldn't comprehend a joke because he was a 'sexually frustrated and a jealous mess' according to her. I understand where his outburst came from, judging the fact that he is easily jealous and they no longer connected sexually (which isn't the entire fucking point of DDLG, you horny idiots.). But I honestly think it was very unnecessary to call her a 'slut', especially that he was aware of her non-monogamous kink. She was really hurt after he called her that, all she wanted to do was 'rile him up, get spankies, sexy time, and cuddles after' according to her.

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This isn't a post about hating on daddies. Simply, it is a lesson to pick the right time for jokes and understanding your partner. Both parties had mistakes on their part and they unfortunately didn't give time to forgive each other.

To everyone reading this, if you need someone to talk to, just message me and I'll try my best to give appropriate inputs

[Guest SUeB]

What qualifies you to be able to give people the advice needed to help them with any issues they might have?

[Guest Naturalselectionissexy]

She is the new Dr. Phil!!! Obviously qualified.

[Guest Naturalselectionissexy]

If someone is to perform acts that would in fact make them a slut, like a gang bang, then I would hope they would be proud of their well earned slut badge. As for a monogamous man getting into a relationship with a non-monogamous person, well they are both stupid and I hope they learned their lesson.

[LittleGirlEmilia]

What qualifies you to be able to give people the advice needed to help them with any issues they might have?

 

Because teenagers know everything.

 

 

My partner would be pissed off too if I told him I wanted to suck someone else off.

And if your partner is kink shaming you, you're obviously in the wrong relationship. 

[Guest Naturalselectionissexy]

Because teenagers know everything.

 

 

My partner would be pissed off too if I told him I wanted to suck someone else off.

And if your partner is kink shaming you, you're obviously in the wrong relationship.

 

Amen

[Guest Bunnyblossom]

She's not a teenager (according to her profile she's 20?) Edit: Derp. Her profile says she accidentally put 20.

And whilst it's not really the 'done thing' to assume the position of site therapist, it's coming from a place of good intentions and concern for anyone else experiencing what her friend went through. It's just rubbing people the wrong way.

 

Aside from appointing herself 'Dr. Phill' of the forum, all she said was that it's unfair to kink shame.

She just said it's okay to have non-monogamous kinks e.g. gangbangs and whatever else.

How d'you misinterpret that as 'everyone should go suck a bunch of dicks'?

 

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@Lauriex- Sorry to talk about you than to you, but that part wasn't directed to you (or that'd be weird) =P

Your post may end up being removed cuz unintended 'drama' and because nobody should be giving relationship, psychological, medical etc advice under the suggestion that they're like "Dr. Phil" (or a doctor at all, even if someone is). But that doesn't mean there aren't people who recognize you're trying to be helpful.

Just word things a lil more carefully in future, would be my only suggestion. Meaning don't make it sound like you're speaking on behalf of the whole team.

That's how things take this kinda turn. Especially the first paragraph, it automatically makes people wanna take you down a peg or two.

 

I don't think kink shaming is as big of a thing within the community as it is out of it. (Honestly wouldn't know).

So your friend must be very unlucky for her Daddy to overreact that way over a joke.

Edited January 21, 2018 by MarshmallowSnot

[Guest Aquarius]

That's not "shaming." That's just a guy striking out because his feelings were hurt. And his feelings were hurt because she stepped outside the assumed boundaries of their relationship expectations. Personally, if someone gets upset from a 'joke,' then either he is really damn insecure and needs to work on himself more, or she said it in a way that actually has the intent to provoke, which he picked up on.

 

Either way, yes, you should be in a relationship where you can be honest about your kinks. You can only grow close to your partner to the degree that you can open up and be vulnerable with them, and your 'kinks' are just as much of the fabric of who you are as your sense of humour and intellectual interests. 

 

On a side note, regarding 'shaming,' not all shaming is bad.

Shaming is bad when done out of insecurity—i.e, your friend's boyfriend 'shaming her' because she effectively emphasised, indirectly, that she didn't want to suck his cock, but the cock of a better man than him.

 

Some shaming is very positive, as it can be very effective at mediating destructive/toxic behaviour that damages society as a whole. Pedophile shaming is one example. Rape shaming is another.

 

The problem with "shaming" is that it is a very dangerous social weapon that can be (and is being) coopted by people seeking power over others… but that is a whole different topic, so I'll end it here!

Edited January 21, 2018 by Aquarius

[Guest Stinkin'ol'Fred]

She is the new Dr. Phil!!! Obviously qualified.

Sorry to quote you but I took that she said this because dr Phil talks to people, not necessarily she's qualified, but dang I don't think she meant to be uppity at all.

[Guest Stinkin'ol'Fred]

Good post. There's some people out there, like I used to be myself just looking for the right opportunity to speak up, talk. Seeing someone mentioning speaking up usually leads to others speaking up so on and so forth, so id like to say too don't be afraid to speak up. People have forgotten that we're all just human. Need more love in this world and just common compassion for others. Compassion aint weakness. And if talking is how that it needs to be done there's always a listening ear here, cuz I been there too, in a hole looking up praying for someone anybody ya know? I mean well saying this, no animosity outta me at all.

[Guest Naturalselectionissexy]

I'm sure most can understand the intention however misguided it was. It's just fun for me to be sarcastic and utilize my wonderful and rarely appreciated humor:)

[Mikaitaku]

I can't read much that OP has said because pink is unreadable against white but only fakes would shame a little

[Little Illy]

*waves* Sooo from personal experience I offer 2 pieces of advice:

 

1. I come from the same place of wanting to reach out and help people. If you stumble across any of my topics or reply, I rely heavily on psychology as I do have a degree in it. However, there is a policy that we, members, cannot give actual medical, psychological, etc type advice. I didn't see too much of that here. But because you seem to want to take heavy hand in helping people (referencing your desire to be Dr. Phil), I just wanted to extend personal experience to another helper. Just make sure your word things in a way so that you are not coming off as legit giving psychological standings, and you will be good and can help anyone! A helpful tidbit I was told, was that you can send a topic (or thread) to a mod/admin member and they can proof read it to make sure the topic wont be removed.  

 

And...

 

2. People are gonna be a bit turned off by your age, and your brassy confidence. So, if you plan on discussing controversial topics (again personal experience), it is always good to make sure you present facts versus opinion. It will give you credibility as someone who knows what you are talking about, etc and so when people try to use your age and confidence against you, well.. they can't. Simpy because you are presenting facts. Again, I know from personal experience because I was and am the same way. And I totally encourage this, we need as many people as possible to help the forum! Yay! Just don't make it harder for people to target you due to your age. And realize if you are going to be playing the devil's advocate, people will not always appreciate it. Brush it off, help those that need it, present the facts and move on.

 

Anyways, I wish you the best of luck in this endeavor to help people in this way. 

[Mikaitaku]

Also Dr Phil is a quack, jackass wanker so wanting to be like him isn't something one should desire. Considering he had a woman that murdered her autistic child and let her do her "woe is me BS" 

 

if anyone is qualified to do what you seem to wish to do I think it is going to be Lilly (above) since she actually knows what she is talking about